Reddit Haikus

The only way you
     get though life sane is laughing
at the crazy things.

The second and third
     are HUGE, then they kind of get
smaller as I go.

I'm starting to think
     he's not going to step down?
This kills the waitress.

I love this website,
     discovered it a year or
so ago its great.

The obligation
     part just seemed to be stronger
than the caring part.

If Adam and Eve
     didn't exist, then they didn't eat
the forbidden fruit.

That's the best advice,
     considering the steps are
already finished.

Get on cam! There is
     DEFINITELY more than one
person doing these.

You could also try
     some light hair pulling and ask
if she's into that.

We choose the people
     who get to define the rules
for us. Big difference.

Big difference. What do
     you consider public space?
Walmart parking lot?

Where is this public
     market your talking about?
I was the opposite.

Why cut his hair short?
     I would think the long haired part
would be accurate.

Caveat: Won't work
     if you're an atheist or
not mature yourself.

So I will not fuck
     off, I will fuck **on**. How so?
I WANT THEM ALL Yeah.

And I believe it's
     the only gun in the game
that fires that cartridge.

I simply meant those
     who felt little need to do
more than just cross dress.

Then I'd spend the next
     four days in a food coma
and hating myself.

Though if they just want
     to feel good about themselves
then power to them.

Teach him a lesson?
     Putting him in a psych ward
for trying LSD?

Even the texture
     is okay, but the flavor
just kills me. Thanks, dude.

I really have no
     idea how to improve
the situation.

Edit: Took out some
     rude language that doesn't need
to be seen on here.

This needs to happen.
     I can't seem to find a save
on the android app.

If the Bible said
     we came from a blood clot, you'd
instantly say "See?

Mothers aren't stupid
     so she probably knows, but guess
what, she doesn't care.

Just because you don't
     want to hear it, doesn't mean
that it isn't true.

I promise if you
     ever need one it'll be well
worth the investment.

[deleted] Comic
     illustrated and posted
by a bitter male.

Some people don't think
     so, they'll use brass rods and be
happy about it.

And we're free to not
     say the pledge if we so choose.
I got close to one.

Ask her if the boy
     is hungry or cold or if
he needs anything.

You don't need a whole
     bunch, just enough to immerse
the plantain chips in.

I found a nickel
     on the ground shortly after
reading this comment!

Love his markings. "on
     Martin Luther King Day" How
is that relevant?

When we do get free,
     let's torch the place behind us.
these guys are awesome!

I drive him over
     there so he can "run in real
quick" and get his shit.

It reduces stress
     in the same way cocaine solves
cocaine withdrawal.

BIG mistake. It was
     the girl's first time extracting
teeth and it took HOURS.

I don't know exact
     date, the only person who
does is The Father.

[deleted] This site
     may be outdated, Shoney's
is still on the list.

I don't assume you
     think you are better, you seem
to have argued it.

Nylon picks slip much
     easier, even the ones
with raised lettering.

They are pretty quick
     to do on normal once you
get the hang of them.

[deleted] Homer
     pick, but Panthers vs Rams
double OT was great.

That is the picture
     many of us westerners
are accustomed with.

And these are also
     studies made in a world where
copyright exists.

Get it?! The way you
     wrote this answer reminds me
strongly of Feynman.

Still something needed
     to done but does this seem harsh
to anyone else?

I hope he's okay,
     that hit looked like it really
knocked him for a loop.

Im sure if you do
     the right thing, every one on
trees will forgive you.

She's not excited
     about the business as much
as stressed about it.

I read the title
     and came here to recommend
this movie. WATCH IT!

I fucking kid you
     not, he smells, naturally like
lemon pledge. It's great.

I have a really
     good friend whose parents came here
from Columbia.

With a tech license
     you can work on and achieve
all you've laid out there.

Will there be any
     problems between our other
dogs and the new dog?

There is just no good
     part of that town black out, black
mamba, cell phone bowl.

You can write about
     what you want to dream about
or techniques you're trying.

PM me if you'd
     like some more information
and good luck! Tanning.

So it sounds to me
     like someone else seeing him
as weak and simple.

things like swimming pools
     and medical doctors are
far more dangerous.

It's sad that he gets
     injured so much that this is
actually funny. Sigh.

What could be better
     than enjoying every day
doing what you love?

Can't wait for the game!
     I know but I always liked
their gaming coverage.

Really? I wouldn't
     have guessed that you were the one
who was bored before.

[deleted] I thought
     you guys may be interested
in this once again.

"Actual" Liberals no
     longer support Obama?
That is news to me.

Had it in Ireland
     and can't find it in the US.
Pretty tasty stuff.

Anything to take
     your mind off the craving you
get from the trigger.

Side note: why do you
     guys get 'dog is man's best friend'?
Diamonds don't play fetch!

It is not my fault
     if someone kills someone else
over a picture.

it's a piece of glass
     with a few holes and maybe
some water in it.

Well, imagine how
     bad it would be if that car
only had two wheels.

If you try to make
     fun of her about it now,
it will be awkward.

Yankees and Red Sox
     can never play each other
in the World Series.

i love this new sub,
     by the way. smokey trails, all.
Thanks for that insight.

Bitches gotta bitch.
     The only connection left
for me is the 49ers.

Now, no one deserves
     to be shot over a sports
game, no matter what.

I think you might be
     getting just a little bit
ahead of yourself.

"Hey guys! The record
     for number of pushups is
only one hundred!

My experience
     is that untreated crazy
tends to date crazy.

I'd throw a banish
     enchant with a common soul
gem and vendor it.

He told everyone
     that instead of "eye for eye"
we are to forgive.

What about slightly
     over done pastry vs.
under cooked pastry?...

Very confusing.
     Not advisable if you
want readable code.

A huge argument
     against marijuana is
that it breeds failures.

You are the table.
     Classy as fuck Now that looks
like a fine story.

Classy as fuck Now
     that looks like a fine story.
I'd love to read it.

How people pay these
     prices for apartments I'll
never understand.

Scotch is so varied
     that it's hard to get every
style in one sitting.

It does not force you
     to do good or bad, it's like
our moral compass.

[deleted] so you
     can call me an asshole, but
im the hostile one.

Quickly checking out
     these videos I find them
all sounding different.

Went to my old school
     Brentwood High. He could very
well not be on juice.

What do you do when
     you move into a new place?
You make it your own.

I'm sure it's popped up
     on other shows as well if
you look hard enough.

Too bad US soldiers
     are for the most part cowards.
Wait, seriously?

But that's what he gets
     for being a dangerous
retard in public.

He's a sociable
     sociopath, he doesn't
care about your rules!

I can eat chinese
     cabbage with any salty
dish instead of bread.

or is your other
     employer doing something
really illegal?

You know, as I was
     typing my response, I was
grasping for that term.

It still stands because
     there is no actual damage.
Same thing as this case.

More often than not,
     those not so good at using
the market have more.

You're grasping at straws.
     You asked me to prove that there
are corrupt judges.

What made the boss fight
     better in the second game?
But see, it *could* be.

It's not a big shop.
     But it can hold a decent
number of people.

[deleted] sweet bro!
     Did you rap it? Did you get
to the last boss?? [Yes.

Yes, they're far cheaper
     than anywhere else, but you
get what you pay for.

Not a clue Pretty
     awful, but at least he didn't
try to hide from it.

They can't fight for shit,
     their lips don't even let them
bite down easily.

Humans, since they are
     conceptual, are able
to create values.

So it's not *only*
     those who haven't smoked it or
are stupidly rich.

He has talent, it's
     just wasted on the shit his
writers come up with.

How is there still no
     advice animal based on
this in the comments?

Yes... I won? What did
     I win! A MILLION DOLLARS
AND A PONY? Wow!

[deleted] No fresh
     snow today, but my commute
was the same. -20C (~-3F).

Ah thank you so much,
     the internet otherwise
has failed to help me!

It's not the bible,
     it's his opinion, and his
opinion only.

Buy a mix CD,
     get a couple of mixes
and all of the tunes.

But I sensed that there
     was a deal, and that he was
in on it somehow.

It's not terribly
     hard to save a few dollars
to afford highschool.

That way, there would be
     no jump in the loop, just smooth
dancing the whole way.

I'm not sure I am
     understanding what you are
arguing against.

You'd be really hard
     pressed to get the mana you
need at the right time.

There is an empty
     beer, also spilled out onto
the bed, by my feet.

[deleted] I'd like
     to stick my dick in that if
you know what I mean.

I love Moscoso.
     However, this trade makes no
sense for either team.

Or at least I thought
     I was, since my parents kept
telling me I was.

Well, I liked Matchett.
     He would segue well to the Sky
or BBC team.

I guess this is why
     kids in back to the future
pulled their pockets out.

I just want new games
     on the current generation.
Kinda obvious.

Neither Iran nor
     the United States would fare
well if it happened.

Where's our Robocop
     who can dispense the bad cops
along with the crooks?

Would you understand
     that it is four groups of nine?
Or nine groups of four?

I see the update
     manager come up maybe
twice a week at best.

Excuse the double
     negative but there's no way
I'm not doing this.

Those that think and those
     that do how the fuck is pulse
ox a medic skill?

It was a return
     vent and I deemed it to not
be necessary.

We'll see if it can
     really come into its own.
Man, I love that song.

Oh God, this 10-minute
     posting delay timer will
be the death of me.

It sounds weirder on
     paper than it really is
so just go for it.

Unfortunately
     what you've stated isn't true.
Move along people.

yep but the side streets
     have some black ice because it's
cold as balls up here.

Then don't have kids if
     you can't take the time to spend
with them to raise them.

And number of arms.
     I go to the Best Damn Home
Brew Shop in downtown.

If you did any
     research into Paul, you'd know
that he's consistent.

Music always builds
     on the past, and any good
musician knows that.

[deleted] it's MAD
     bright in here so I'm having
the opposite problem.

It's called satire,
     now go to your place in hell
for being stupid.

If you want Western
     Europe with some nature, do
not miss out Ireland.

Just buy whatever
     is both cheap and looks good (not
too old) and adapt.

Hanging out here has
     always given me a warm
and fuzzy feeling.

Granted, Buck's perceived
     apathy makes it seems like
he hates every team.

dude I was there too!
     Probably the most exciting
show I've been to yet.

Do you expect me
     to know all etiquette by
heart, the day I join?

"Pot had helped, and booze;
     maybe a little blow when
you could afford it.

The more attractive
     someone is, the more people
will hit on them. Yup.

There's never any
     mention of a physical
description at all.

"Should you quit your job?"
     I thought the universe was
more subtle than that.

This is a social
     venue not a spelling bee
or research paper.

Fellas, You don't want
     to date *that* girl who insists
on dating *that* guy.

A bully gets his
     kicks and giggles by making
somebody feel bad.

Fun fact: Frogs actually
     jump out of the frying pan
before being harmed.

That's fair enough, but
     you can see how one might get
the wrong impression?

0.o Incredible!
     Can't wait to see what the next
mutation will be!

I like to run on
     dirt trails because it causes
less shock to my legs.

Having good judgement
     is a very valuable
skill to have in life.

Oh, and one last thing!
     Small business owners shouldn't
have to pay taxes.

If you like the game
     playing it again shouldn't
be that horrible.

i'm guessing he didn't
     get DirecTV Still here
ain't ya scooter? [Here.

They seem to put more
     weight on production value,
including lighting.

Their "lunacy" lies
     in that this is their hobby
or even their jobs.

And I wasn't trying
     to be too harsh earlier,
just realistic.

She was out with friends
     at the weekend though so might
have just been busy.

By definition,
     an alcoholic cannot
control their drinking.

We are so much more
     advanced, we don't even build
like that any more.

If I'm paying, I'm
     paying regardless of what
the final bill says.

It's polite to help
     out somehow, even if one
is the invitee.

Yes you can. Are you
     capable of living by
yourself for a while?

You've done all you can.
     You made good choices. She sounds
like a fine person.

True, but rushing backs
     that have good rookie seasons
occur every year.

Still get asked. It's not.
     The reusable grenades
still serve their purpose.

Jessica Ahlquist
     did not get kicked out and cut
off from her family.

I know I'm asking
     too much, but please can River
be gone? what's the bug?

One of my main pet
     peeves these days is video
game journalism.

lol I can
     almost guarantee this is
not on the east coast.

This sounds a little
     preachy, but I do believe
in what I'm saying.

We are similar
     in that we came from the same
common ancestor.

I guess it didn't help
     that I have become pretty
much Asexual.

A veteran backup
     or a young project would be
more than welcome, though.

Let me know if you'd
     like them, and I can dig them
up when I get home.

We keep them under
     the sink and compost kitchen
scraps for the garden.

I have really high
     bedroom windows and i think
this would be perfect.

I can only play
     weekends, though, until the time
changes back again.

I see. The working
     precipitation cycle
is interesting, though.

It's quite mild, if not
     terribly spectacular.
You don't answer much.

Wow! You're so handsome
     that I almost didn't notice
your amazing cock.

I'm guessing there are
     only very few that need
to be set that way.

Never Meta Half
     Life I didn't like. I'm surprised
he lasted this long.