Reddit Haikus

The remote does not
     need to be running any
thing X related.

I don't feel sorry
     for tile layers with bad knees.
Actually, I do. shit.

Nothing else, just that.
     Don't skip a day and see how
you feel in a week.

I am not saying
     mothers don't actually work or
anything like that.

Here's a fun game you
     can play with other teachers
in the area.

Lots. Eat it. The house
     will be ripe and so will you.
Then hand around home.

Once you have unzip
     on other machine, ask steam
to install the game.

One does not shatter
     both knees and the right shoulder
with a single blow.

Not as a "social
     message," anyway. Edit:
Actually, nevermind.

Thanks for the advice.
     You obviously do not
live in Florida.

[deleted] Any
     particular reason why
you want to age them?

You will be amazed
     at how good it feels to make
others feel better.

I'd try to disprove
     you there, but she's probably just
getting the groceries.

An Atheist is
     someone who does not assert
that there is a god.

those dudes are awesome.
     They do. You just have low speed
limits in the US.

The story wasn't
     award winning but it did
keep me interested.

Do you think you could
     enjoy a relationship
with a black woman?

Yeah I saw that but
     only videos, never
found a download link.

According to whom?
     My mom listens to Elvis
and Tina Turner.

I say the only
     other choice is Java based
on the industry.

I think that's pretty
     common knowledge, especially
among journalists.

When i saw the game
     i knew that i would play too
much if i tried it.

So why aren't you guys
     out rioting on the streets
about the bullshit?

You could use more than
     one sentence to answer. See?
I'm doing it now.

Take minimum wage
     if you have to. Work. Pay rent.
Pay your father back.

Or you could take good
     popular songs and replace
some words with Jesus.

And as you said, "if
     this all seems like bullshit, then
just drink and enjoy".

right because Pitchfork
     didn't see Arcade Fire coming
without Much Music.

=P WE already
     have a subway system, not
even completed.

I would really like
     to understand the hate on
Celine Dion though.

no subtleties here.
     You said a lot, but I didn't
see any points made.

The only thing you
     want is the conversion done
by the constructor.

If it tastes bland you
     might be using stale beans or
simply not enough.

Was she a bully
     like him or just some random
girl he had sex with?

FUCK SHIT FUCK FAGGOT
     FUCK PUSSY SLUDGE DICK BLOWN OFF
DICK FUCK FAGGOT SHIT.

I don't believe you
     have a proper grasp of what
the word actually means.

And I see them all
     the time so there's no bullshit
"catching up" to do.

What you are saying
     can only ever make sense
in this dimension.

Old people CAN drive.
     My grandpa drives everyday
and he's in his 70's.

I have a friend who's
     nearly illiterate, but
he loves fantasy.

EDIT: Tell me what
     YOU think and I can tell you
if I disagree.

If I give a gift
     to someone, a shirt lets say,
I hope they wear it.

Its how business works!
     Think of something as simple
as a phone cable.

Being a frozen
     banana expert can be
pretty lucrative.

Absolutely not.
     You can swim with it, and you
can sleep with it in.

Don't write a place off
     for fear of interacting
with a salesperson.

I'm glad people like
     you are documenting such
amazing places.

I'm glad they fleshed his
     character out a little
more for Atlantis.

I don't want people
     to read it and go HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA!

There is a defined
     limit in the initial
parent Domain Name.

Is it just me or
     does this song get submitted
every other month?

There is a whole lot
     more to a person than just
their surface interests.

They could never find
     anything wrong, perfect test
results every time.

I'm always happy
     to know that there are others
that feel the same way.

That's life. Deal with it.
     Down vote as necessary.
Haters gotta hate.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

sorry about that,
     sarcasm doesn't always
translate well as text.

Played it hated it.
     If you have a drill, this is
extremely simple.

Promise. Until you
     find happiness somewhere else,
find a distraction.

the true heroes are
     always the ones who get fucked
over and ignored.

If you want to do
     the most good sell them and give
the money away.

Winston Churchill word
     I'm glad someone mentioned this.
That's a TV show...

I guess if you get
     horny from modeling, then it'll
rub you the right way.

I'm about to try
     and order some chinese food,
I hope they're open.

I think you still don't
     understand what strong and weak
mean in this context.

Seriously, what
     fucking part of my post did
you not understand?

You know, I was just
     wondering if anyone
got physically ill.

Maybe you have some
     black or blue ink in your house?
my bad. by the way.

Just amazing. Still,
     the game as a whole ain't got
nothing on Forza.

They obviously
     haven't been to a live show
Hello, karma whore.

[deleted] 'tis good
     The headline claims she was jailed
for getting knocked up.

There is no such thing.
     You win because you "managed"
the team to victory.

People may not like
     what I said, but I added
to the discussion.

I god I fucking
     laughed so much, more than any
video ever.

The tragedy just
     happens to be a perfect
example of this.

This is great! Well done.
     And now I have a new band
to discover. Cheers!

[deleted] I wish
     people in my family drank...
I already did!

Q. What does a gay
     man bring on the second date?
A. What second date?

Good luck to you too.
     Care to elaborate? Agreed,
this is a pet peeve.

I would imagine
     that's what the prison guards were
expecting too. Hmmm.

I had it on tap
     twice, once at vortex and once
at rocky mountain.

The song I cited
     wasn't necessarily
the best example.

But that's just me, not
     really sure if we're into
the same kind of games.

Then I was able
     to go in and do sharpie
work to clean it up.

Art is important,
     dead cats you have never met
in your lifetime aren't.

I mean, how do you
     meet ladies that are open
to this sort of thing?

If nobody does
     anything these measures will
just keep on coming.

Print out your homework,
     rather than reading it on
the computer screen.

Study with classmates
     who are at least a bit more
serious than you.

Which uni? Which course?
     Freedom from unreasonable
search and seizure is.

This is why I ride
     cautiously on the sidewalk
when there's no bike path.

No big deal. I lost
     interest as soon as i hit
the level cap, though.

It can get very
     busy, but sometimes it can
be very quiet.

I was just testing
     the theory on a larger
audience first... What?!

I want to see some
     brave soul bring baking soda
and vinegar through.

It is possible
     to own firearms in Russia.
You guys are awesome!

If so, I assure
     you I was entirely
unaware of it.

[deleted] I thought
     that was the Jonas Brothers.
Who the hell were they?

It really does suck
     when you want your man soo bad
when he is sleeping.

Smart kid with no drive.
     No purpose. Physics major.
Failed out of college.

We have a few like
     this over here but we don't
hear from them enough.

I'd love a working
     version of the Courier,
but this wasn't it.

He was married but
     she died many years before
the movie took place.

SCIENCE. [deleted]
     What is the name of this frog?
Motivation frog?

I don't know about
     you guys but my first thought was
"Aliens vs.

That's *exactly* what
     he did, and I totally
fell for it. Still am.

Doesn't change the fact
     that there's still prohibition
against Cannabis.

Mostly I just want
     to use it for surface coal
and searching for clay.

However, I think
     university places
should be cut in half.

Well, I actually use
     toilet paper to dry off
instead of a towel.

I don't know what's wrong
     with me and I don't really
care at the moment.

From the lyrics, he's
     **probably** doing all this shit
with the other girl.

That then leaves "Is there
     any possibility
that God *would* do this?

Unfortunately
     I can't remember the link
for the wallpaper.

It looks so great, but
     playing guitar really takes
two hands generally.

I am a very
     physically affectionate
person and love sex.

I'll let you know when
     I do it though 'cos I do
think it would be fun!

It was a plain shirt...
     Man, if I see ME2 for cheap
I'm grabbing that too.

Fill up the other
     time with talking to people
and getting out there.

the mother said no
     and that is when the child screamed
"I WANT POPCORN NOW!"

Dress like that, act like
     that and sooner or later
you will become that!

He already has
     some fans on the internet,
and that's a good start.

It's your life and you
     don't owe anyone any
explanations OP.

All my friends who joined
     the military ended
up married young too.

The wisdom of years
     has taught me that in his own
way, he was spot on.

:o( I think it would
     be more fun to have Talk Like
A Thai Hooker Day.

might be a new age
     alternative to boob jobs!
[deleted] Correct.

Yeah at least it is
     cheap and has great download speeds
I can trap them there.

You should take a look
     at the tests to ride they give
in other countries.

The next election
     can't come soon enough to get
rid of this buffoon.

I started to watch
     the video, but I didn't
get all the way through.

the instant coffee
     put me off too. fuck that shit.
I'm in Canada.

And the hot season
     has just started (it isn't
even summer yet!

People who are prone
     to such flights of fancy need
help, not fuel, surely.

And the whole "Middle
     East right now" bit is blown way
out of proportion.

I believe there are
     more people out there who think
like this than it seems.

Then again, if it's
     some awesome delicious treat,
I wouldn't say no.

Well of course!! Chaos,
     durum wheat, and spheres of meat,
but mostly chaos.

I'm sure they have sold
     their shorts by now since it looks
to be rebounding.

And thanks for the games.
     The Buckhorn exchange. I find
the Fort leans towards game.

If anyone is
     being contentious, it's you.
"Forever a loan."

So in summary
     I'd say try it out one time!
Just don't drink too much!

So maybe she will
     do it of her own accord
if she's frustrated?

The Vanilla Cream?
     Too many trans fats, can't be
sold in Canada.

Probation. You should
     post a little more when you
are comfortable.

The guy at the store
     told me it made by someone
named Strawberry John.

Trap, my sister used
     that word a lot, she suffered
greatly from Mom's death.

If I ever win
     the lottery I promise
you I'm doing it.

[deleted] This may
     work, as zombies have trouble
operating doors....

Really? Then explain
     to me how a turkey speaks
with its head removed.

Then let's at least *have*
     Jesus in the history books
where applicable.

If you want to say
     what I saw with my own eyes
is false go ahead.

This was about ten
     years ago and I really
needed the money.

[deleted] I feel
     there should be ripples coming
from the wrist as well.

You think the guy should
     "fuck off" because he's making
money and you're not?

Get the boyfriend points.
     Insanity will insane.
Work in retail, eh?

Weed stuffing. Dank mash
     potatoes and regular
ass cranberry sauce.

They had one of those
     things at the carnival by
my house growing up.

Is it when police
     that expose corruption are
fired and harassed?

Knowing it's three times
     as dense as air, it probably
weighs next to nothing.

So awesome! We must
     stop terrorists from sending
trains into buildings!

For the eleventh
     time today, I am very
thankful that search works.

Being arrested
     just because you're black doesn't
happen _that_ often.

They're both cursing her
     and she didn't even notice
as she walked on by.

The title combined
     with what is actually typed is
pretty confusing.

And then when that gets
     old to you, you can come up
with another one.

She's obviously
     way more connected to him
than she is to you.

It does not take faith
     to not believe in something,
that's ridiculous.

It's going to end
     up being the new Second
Life. Im an 1/8th!!

I'm looking forward
     to watching the funniest
movie ever made.

Shouldn't matter, friend.
     They are pretty popular
outside the US, yes.

Without them, prices
     would fall, then rise well beyond
what they are at now.

If for some reason
     that fails I have airplane chops
and parachute skills.

The stuff can go from
     ingredients to finished
in under an hour.

Masturbate a few
     times a week or more but do
not ejaculate.

are you currently
     getting your needs satisfied
in some shape or form?

i would love to see
     someone bring this up in court
and see what happens.

You should get out more.
     Meet people. Get some fresh air.
I feel bad for you.

Found out my sibling
     has a connect that actually
offers **different strains**.

With the bolt action
     sniper, its pretty much one
hit kills everywhere.

This is a good way
     to get it since nobody
really uses it.

Website HO! I had
     this very realization
when I was a kid!

It feels as if you
     are trying to do so many
things at the same time.

They are getting paid
     more because of a decrease
in competition.

You might be able
     to make some money with those
at least as a start.

[deleted] Cool hat!
     I think you forgot a link.
Well, that's... interesting.

Freud would shit his pants
     if he saw anything from
our generation.

They make portable
     toilet seats that use plastic
bags to hold the waste.

But, I'll try it. Thanks.
     The woman on the far left
is my grandmother.

So it can't retain
     any bacteria if
the surface is cleaned.

Family nothing you
     are **her** father and she trusts
**you** to protect her.

You probably needed
     to use your fingers and toes
to get the math right.

Anyway Happy
     Thanksgiving hope you ate til
your heart's contentment!

The government is
     out of control and bringing
the country down FAST.

Go work for a while,
     something not ordinary
like flipping burgers.

Realize life is hard
     and mostly sucks. Work til death.
Done. The razor burn?!!

Done. The razor burn?!!
     Lordy, it really does take
all kinds. Shoop de whoop!

You're going to want
     to board the bus on the north
side of the station.

these are young adults
     who have the knowledge to cause
serious damage.

No amount of hard
     work can change my genetics
to make me a man.

They look so yummy!
     Tampa's a pretty awesome
part of Florida.