Reddit Haikus

You can completely
     blind yourself even if you
can't feel any pain.

Death row inmates cost
     more money to the State then
lifers ever will.

Who's going to own,
     maintain and upgrade the wires?
The US government?

I guess there's no harm
     in trying out another though
just in case, so thanks!

On the other hand,
     I really hope those girls are
not badly abused.

You're just full of vague
     anger at the government.
It's adorable.

It's adorable.
     And once again, you have no
source *whatsoever.

Eventually learn
     how to fly a fighter jet.
Play with bulldozers.

[deleted] Healthy
     foods taste foul and foods which are
bad for you taste great.

Turkey, strawberry
     jam and cereal sandwich.
OK guys, he's real!

[deleted] Wesley
     Willis! You should not have watched
that videotape.

it is a very
     plausible name, and I do
actually know this girl.

I've read a few things
     about web apps being built
into the browser.

I'll write a review
     later once I've bashed around
with it a little.

A memo that says
     "Osama wants to attack
the US" is not news.

Pick a nice woman
     who is thinking about you
and not the clock first.

If someone doesn't
     want to be found that is their
issue to sort out.

Oh, I see. They look
     largely the same (aside from
the arrow, of course).

[deleted] what was
     so awesome about Dennis
Hopper's performance?

It sounds perfectly
     sensible, but it doesn't
sound like anarchy.

BEARS! This couple must
     be the most gentle and laid
back people ever.

If you do that is.
     [deleted] HA. The Hefty
Lefty. Nice throwback.

Oops, that's what I get
     for trying to do ANYTHING
whilst I'm still groggy.

Our relatives from
     quite a few generations
back were immigrants.

*nods* spot on, spot on...
     Kinda looks like that one scene
from Pan's Labyrinth.

I also plan on
     taking her to the dog park
at least twice a week.

You first. [deleted]
     And no legs? And you always
used your arms? Probably.

It took hours to get
     all the devices back up
and on it again.

Thanks for the support.
     So far I haven't relapsed
but came really close.

So while that works fine,
     I'm greatly disappointed
with the new dock screen.

[deleted] You don't
     have to be Uzbek to love
Uzbek national art.

The thing that kills me
     about this kid is the fact
that he's really smart.

It must really be
     such a pain to scroll past them.
Perhaps you can sue.

I've got three prior
     stalking engagements, and one's
gone off the radar.

I understand now
     that paving every rural
road doesn't make sense.

Don't accept defeat???
     Sometimes you are defeated,
you must accept it.

Is this an outrage?
     There are no puffin haters.
That's impossible.

I don't watch Husky
     for deep commentary, that's
what I watch Day9 for.

I watch him for fun.
     He makes me laugh and that's all
that really matters.

Alternatively,
     we could just imprison more
unemployed people.

what a cracking jump!
     No, Jesse Jackson will come
slap you in the mouth.

Need to hate someone
     else otherwise we might start
thinking about stuff.

Sometimes those mistakes
     become highly publicized,
like with The Lancet.

One week in his house
     and you'd find it real easy
to part with your stuff.

I understand times
     were different, I just can't wrap
my head around it.

Not just some person
     who goes once a week and calls
themselves a Christian.

At least it's different
     than the combination on
my luggage. Girl here.

Also, don't forget
     to tuck your shirt in and clip
your cell to your belt!

If those are the stands
     your conscience leads you to, then
sure, knock yourself out.

Who cares who made it,
     I liked the recent Atlas
video as well.

The one in Essex?
     I am sitting a quarter
mile from there right now.

She says something mean?
     So what? It's just air traveling
through her vocal chords.

Parents that ignore
     their child being a little
shit just tick me off.

Or, rather, that's what
     Einstein said. Speaker buildings..
that's neat idea.

Anyway, one night
     right before closing she came
in and asked me out.

lol It was
     one of the funniest things
I've ever seen, yes.

Also, I vote you're
     name be "Team Oxymoron"
based on your title.

Depending on where
     you live, this may be more or
less appropriate.

If the other ones
     are at that level, they're not
very interesting.

We still need players
     for ours and we see people
want to run sunday.

Your mom's Nephew would
     be her Grandson! SWEET JESUS.
I love this planet.

Disagree. Rolls are
     the absolute fairest way
in my opinion.

Seemed to be doing
     good last year lay off the milk
products Nope. Not here.

you're not required by
     anything, they can't deny
you quitting your job.

I mean, she could be
     just a few years older than
you are. Intriguing.

Seriously, it's
     stories like this that keep us
from having nice things.

Another thing is
     that girls frequently like you
being protective.

Guaranteed they would
     have been shot if they had tried
to protect him. eh?

Dude, expel the trash.
     Nah, man. Dude! Muscle wasting.
You always say that!

She wouldn't "hit" me.
     She would lovingly slap me
in a joking way.

(It's been a few years
     since I've had one, but they were
always cracked, of course).

Do you have any
     good sites that show charities
in my area?

Not anymore. So,
     where's your mother's sister at?
Bass riff from "Peace Frog".

It kind of feels like
     people are afraid to talk
to one another.

But I can play through
     those games constantly, like I'm
wanting to right now.

You say that as if
     you've never complained about
anything before.

I wanted to give
     myself some distance before
opening that door.

It makes me happy
     to think that there's a Santa
Cruz version of you."

Not stopping to sleep
     is the test to see if you
can handle the job.

That makes it better
     than school. So... You're all bitches?
Same with us! It's not.

Dude, you've been thinking
     about this joke for TWO MONTHS?!?!
the cake is a lie.

The memorials
     could be reduced to litter
easily enough.

Judges don't make laws.
     in this case, ignorance is
bliss seriously?

It's all good hombre,
     and trust me I wouldn't dare
misquote McCarthy.

Plenty of space there).
     The thing I would focus on
for sure is the mouse.

this is OUTRAGEOUS!
     ya sure i chose to make less
money than a man.

The library is
     open half as many hours
as it was before.

If you have the chance
     you should check out his graphic
novel Same Difference.

I would like to think
     so, but his past comments seem
to say otherwise.

Omg this is
     hilarious lol!
Same on the caster.

Pennsylvania, but
     I attend a New England
junior boarding school.

Children lack reason
     and are irrational, but
this isn't static.

If the card needs more
     power it'll have a power
connector for it.

cant someone be pissed
     off at someone else for no
reason anymore?

California is
     pretty retarded on most
things gun related.

Or maybe it's just
     that the people I hang out
with don't speak that way...?

As long as it says
     "the dead sea seems to help" I'm
not even looking.

Apart from that, nuke
     the computer from orbit.
Password everything.

Use a loose screw on
     top and a couple recessed
magnets in bottom?

One of many odd
     people in the Exeter
physics department.

Baby Wipes Being
     vegan is pretty much like
fasting anyway.

I knew bush would come
     back in style. It's that DING! sound.
So satisfying.

The scene in the first
     Scream movie where Randy is
watching Halloween.

She says she always
     wanted a missed connection
to be about her.

Edit: No secret
     that's at all helpful, just strange
lizard people genes.

But naw, they hate us
     'cause we're free. I guess you'd call
that rhetoric then?

Make most of what you
     listed above organic
and *poof* it's healthy!

The state wants to know
     that you have the financial
means to lend money.

But being a pawn
     broker comes in a very
close second to that.

Been there dude. Keep trying.
     Why? She took a dive over
the finishing line.

Is it morally
     right to tax the poor more than
we already have?

My sister grew up
     A and is moving to B.
They're all flexible.

So turn your lights off
     when you can. Or leave them on.
I don't give a shit.

A man who does not
     eat pork is a man unfit
to rule this country!

I don't know you, but
     reading your letter makes me
feel as if I do.

It would feel like there
     was just a bottomless pit
in your living room.

If she lied about
     being on the pill, I'd go
get myself tested.

They grow up, realize
     the contradiction, and go
after real women.

Get real. [deleted]
     The word carries that meaning
for certain people.

Which may or may not
     be correct, depending on
the situation.

On the contrary,
     "consensual" is right there
in the acronym.

Put the messy ones
     in the washer, and me wife
was none the wiser.

Also, since you seem
     so concerned with safety, what
about "war safety"?

Maybe it will stop
     crashing every few minutes
on MAC OS X then?

You can keep making
     50k a year, benefits, job,
doing the same thing.

Well Nelson's pretty
     old by now, so it wouldn't
quite be as shocking.

Also, one common
     technique for all product is
using odd numbers.

He is trying to get
     attention, donations &
sell his stupid books.

One slight correction
     though in your rant-- he never
threatened to kill me.

I will shed angry
     tears of jealousy when Sept
16th comes around.

Relationships are
     often very much about
power dynamics.

If they are then yes.
     Otherwise am I naked
during the massage?

I'm all for it, but
     worry about coworkers
like yours judging me.

I can't understand
     how you're okay with being
left alone at night.

If you want to take
     this show on the road, you need
to beef up your points.

One last point, there is
     already a mosques a few
blocks from Ground Zero.

Since I didn't have much
     imagination, I chose
"Eye of the Tiger".

If you feel the need,
     also point at her parents
while you're doing it.

I agree with you
     that, for all we know, the raid
was necessary.

Two good examples:
     -One is a truck at the mine
I work at got stuck.

I didn't find the school
     terribly difficult, if
that's what you're asking.

The flights left every
     few hours so there should be no
problem getting one.

The Sex Pistols were
     not a punk band, John Lydon
has said so himself.

Would all of the dicks
     she put in her ever fill
the whole in her heart?

"whilst", and "said" when used
     as an adjective, over
and fucking over.

My question was more
     based on curiosity
than misguided hope.

I apologize
     then, because I *completely*
misunderstood that.

Like, for me, at WHAT
     time over that nine years didn't
you figure it out?

If not, then I think
     she's made it clear that you will
have to make a choice...

Did not read the name,
     thought it was a new person
saying it was false.

**You grew up watching
     TV and movies and you
thought that shit was real.

I was trying to get
     the entire guild involved
with all raiding days.

How many Jewish
     homes are destroyed by Israel
before you complain.

What's the old saying?
     Fool me once... something something...
can't get fooled again.

Either way I think
     this way of thinking is too
extreme either way.

Has anyone else
     mentioned him hitting the gym?
[deleted] found it!

It could be. It just
     doesn't seem very likely
to me. Anyway.

Wow! She is into
     Milk and Cereal! So am
I! Yeah, here it does.

This is actually good.
     You made a self post and didn't
link an article.

It isn't even
     so much about the topic
being new either.

She is a puppet
     being controlled by someone
much smarter than her.

A couple map packs
     ago they changed up white pass.
I miss the old one.

Not cut her off from
     being friends altogether,
but keep a distance.

Personally I think
     Notch needs to tap into his
community more.

There was a mini
     loft and small insulation
cupboards at the side.

i don't like people
     being manipulated
with lies and half truths.

Wish I'd thought of it.
     I need to default to this.
came here to say this.

That money could go
     towards a lot of things needed
to raise a child. Thanks!

Only then we can
     make up our mind about this.
that is terrible.

You can still be friends,
     and see if it leads to more,
but it probably won't.

If it's very slow,
     or doesn't retract at all,
it's a sign of age.

Vivid memories.
     What we remember, and how
we remember it.

why when we predict
     stuff in the future nothing
has any color?

Use thin, even coats
     and let it dry for an hour
or so between coats.

That sounds so much more
     intentional or like you
were drunk or something.

Death rate? Just as much
     as you say I can't deny
the South's racism.

because when things go
     better then expected I'm
pleasantly surprised.

it does exactly
     what it says, it makes the game
sound like old war tapes.

Just had one in Ann
     Arbor that was kind of small
but a total blast.

HOLY SHIT, I FOUND
     MY TWIN I would eat these all
the time growing up.

:D Why shouldn't these
     cops be charged with felony
witness tampering?

People who say that's
     not in the Bible are wrong.
what part exactly?

He does less harm than
     most people paid what he makes.
I'm torn on this one.

They will play n rounds,
     and cannot communicate
at all between rounds.

The cop missed and killed
     the old man (I think) and then
the kid killed the cop.

I'm pretty certain
     that it is either happy
marriage or threesome.

I didn't think you did,
     it seemed 'out of character'.
PM to follow.

I think he isn't
     rude to players who play well
and earn his respect.

If you are venting
     frustration, that is YOUR FAULT
as a bad parent.

Go on and submit
     funny images, but do
some more research first!

Polar Bear: the world's
     largest, heaviest and most
deadly predator.

Why is supporting
     that habit bad if you don't
disapprove of it?

I'm not religious,
     but that's certainly not what
i would have thought of.

How can you agree
     with the quote, but now sure how
you feel about that?

Collaborate You
     misunderstand what I mean
by "ability".

I got that one too.
     It's the funniest subject
I've seen in awhile.

Picking something up
     off the floor (groceries), sitting
down, etc.

Now look at the seals.
     Now look back at me. It is
very trivial.

You can't tout yourself
     as a competitive game
and not have replays.

And WHY should we care?
     Light one end of one rope, both
ends of the other.

Which is funny, since
     I'm not very religious,
merely spiritual.