Reddit Haikus

Your breasts actually look
     really sexy. Don't do it!
Immediately.

Titanic I lift
     Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Nothing on off days.

There's a big difference.
     Do you mean geometric
or exponential?

We weren't athletic.
     When I struck out, i was too
subdued to react.

I have more questions...
     Did the mirror have a frame?
if so, what color?

As soon as I clicked
     the picture I said, "that's Jon
Krasinski" out loud.

That is true, roughly
     every 5th subway stop
has elevators.

This sounds really good,
     and I'm going to try it.
His voice gives me chills.

I prefer to be
     behind the lens as opposed
to in front of it.

Deceased or not, you
     try to eat me, I kill you.
No fucks are given.

I stand corrected.
     Nice So is evolution
Checkmate atheists.

I also agree
     about disliking the change
in logo color.

because money makes
     the world go round I believe
we skipped a step here.

I hate trying to tell
     someone who wasn't there how
awesome something was.

And that conception
     is the point at which human
development starts?

I bought one structure
     deck about a week ago
and really liked it.

Besides he was wide
     open, it was a good play,
believe it or not.

[deleted] Mazda
     has convinced me to never
buy one of their cars.

To all those who sit
     idly by while horrific
things happen: FUCK YOU.

I sent a message
     to a friend who is a judge
though, just to make sure.

And even better
     if there's a long john silvers
connected to it.

Excellent photo.
     Yea, definitely going
to run out of space.

First off, are you sure
     that U is always going
to be less than T?

Hook, line and sinker.
     Did not know this. That's is some
shady crap right there.

I use my girlfriend's
     shower products all the time
when I'm at her place.

The Arctic Monkeys
     kinda blew, but the Keys more
than made up for it.

Either way, it was
     not the right way to handle
the situation.

The government is
     not the only entity
in the world that kills.

Dental insurance
     is horrible, even if
you have "good" coverage.

Miller is just one
     that has the money to do
fancy ad campaigns.

As in sexual
     intercourse just so we aren't
confusing terms here.

Something similar
     happened to my brother back
when we were in school.

He says it's a joke,
     but I don't understand what
his point is. OK.

Near the train station?
     I can hardly wait. Girl you
are super sexy!

Makes me feel like am
     idiot, for not thinking
amazon sold them...

I simply wanted
     to make sure a fellow ent
wasn't getting played.

I don't mean, bigger
     boobs, shorter, different colored
eyes, none of that shit.

Alan Shearer is
     one of my favorites and their
support and passion.

Marijuana smoke
     doesn't cause gum disease nor
will the crap you eat.

Totally would not
     bang, doesn't look enough like
Ron Paul. Mine caught me.

I love it when big
     cats sleep like that, on their backs,
with their paws curled in.

For those people, first...
     imagine its you, the flawed,
leaky, crappy, you.

They'll give you number
     that you can enter into
your reservation.

Keyboards aren't going
     anywhere, totally on
the same boat as you.

The social status
     issue shouldn't matter if
you like him enough.

I think they put sage
     or some shit in the gravy.
I stopped in Kingston.

Enhance! Male: Will Smith.
     Female: Sandra Bullock DUDE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT WILL NOT RELEASE?
     WHAT PART OF THAT IS SO HARD
TO UNDERSTAND? IT.

There literally is
     no bigger punishment than
your kid being gone.

To be fair, Manning
     was out and his team ended
up with the first pick.

Your comment doesn't
     mean anything to this sub
get over yourself.

No, not in hind sight.
     He wasn't worth that much when
he signed the contract.

I have yet to meet
     another kyle in person
that is not an Ent.

what drugs do you take
     to have that vivid and straight
forward of a dream???

i remember these
     riots, and they were fucking
*awful* and fucked up.

Perhaps if you want
     some really good games you should
try using money.

I love the humble
     bundle in every way, but
I have a question.

](/spoiler "ME3") What? Why?
     Is there something wrong with him
I'm unaware of?

Again, I know you
     aren't big on veggies but you
got big without them.

I'm saying if you
     don't eat enough for a long
enough time you'll die.

Yes, that means there will
     be almost a year to wait
between the two halves.

Why is it supposed
     that they aren't killing their own
people out of hate.

[deleted] I'm not
     sure I want kids to have bad
childhoods more often.

It scares me, it seems
     like she just grabs it and has
reckless abandon.

This by far the best
     solution I've read so far
I might, I might not.

The American
     court system is pretty fucked
up on this issue.

Bemused. It **doesn't
     mean amused**, yet I often
see it used this way.

I don't know why some
     people can't understand it.
Yeah... No that makes sense...

Level one? That means
     you get all the "Oh, it's not
plugged in" problems, right?

[deleted] They would
     be on right before Attack
Attack! or something.

"Sorry, a private
     apology is the best
I'm *willing* to do."

Seems easy enough!
     I assumed dressings would be
more complicated.

Has any other
     news come forward about it?
A prosecution?

I can guarantee
     there is something everyone
is good enough at.

Try sleeping at night
     knowing that that could happen
at any minute.

It takes a special
     type of person to own one.
I wasn't that type.

Vanity mostly,
     I like looking muscular,
I like being fit.

You can make pretty
     much any food better by
adding pineapple.

Part of your inner
     beauty is your dignity
and integrity.

I haven't dated
     since her and quite honestly,
i really don't care.

I didn't ask for this!
     If you don't scout sentries then
you need a robo.

The fact that Limbaugh
     evidently has *female*
fans just makes me sad.

What are you doing
     as far as medication
and therapy go?

EDIT: Though you might
     want to wait until Thursday
if you can manage.

Good day to you too!
     Ah! I did ask earlier,
but no real replies.

I don't know why, but
     I feel like I could never
live in a bachelors.

If someone mentioned
     that they might key your shit would
you still attack them?

Good luck with that one.
     The Dunning Kruger Effect
alive and healthy.

What are the details?
     I'm not ruling out any
options at this point!

I don't know for sure,
     but I'm not seeing any
GOOD signs in the post.

He will, but you sure
     won't Go to the hospital
or see your doctor...

[deleted] Also
     maybe gambling A dollar?
Really? A dollar?

Both are great basses,
     inexpensive and they are
short scale instruments.

For shame! Yet, sadly,
     it's still relevant (if not
more so than before).

Do you have any
     suggestions on what to go
to or bring them to?

We already had
     this conversation a few
weeks ago, [right here.

A source which agrees
     with the bible is not false
just for agreeing.

And yes it was some
     brutal, prolonged fighting, I'm
not contesting that.

Honestly, I don't
     believe you for a second.
Woman with a dick.

Whether you run hard,
     or you take it easy, you're
gonna get injured.

Stick around. You will
     be eventually. You mean...
Like masturbation?

I assume you've said
     god doesn't exist, they've said
prove it and you're stumped.

Hold me? Marshall lived
     as he died, in a daring
zeppelin escape.

Jesus was referred
     to as a real person, by
multiple sources.

The American
     Revolution didn't even
make it to the list.

What, exactly, do
     you feel you're missing out on?
came here to say this.

I have also just
     purchased the Gentle Leader.
It sounds fantastic!

Once shop in Renton
     is the largest record shop
I have ever seen.

Gimme Some Sugar,
     Baby! Any chance i could
grab an invite too?

not ER stuff yet though.
     We should defiantly not
use a fake story.

It's like they are trying
     to make you feel stupid while
selling you something.

If you have a few
     hours to burn you can probably
do it in a night.

Also, just like girls
     liking taller guys, I like
girls shorter than me.

And if you're desperate,
     you're probably going to end
up in one you hate.

[deleted] What do
     I think? I'd do her. You could
let them do there thing?

What's more important,
     your feelings or your sisters
wedding memories?

Stop. It's been closed down
     to a single lane, *every*
time you've gone down there?

The boat level on
     R3 when their legs are hitting
*right* next to the boat.

I'm going to go
     have a wonderful evening
with my fiance.

I'll hook you up if
     you give me the beta key.
Cheap toilet paper.

Manager and his
     wife was kinda fucked up, but
I loved the whole thing.

These two statements are
     rather conflicting to be
perfectly honest.

Sounds really shitty
     man, keep your head up and be
there for your old man.

Its really not hard
     to believe that the games are
selling out these days.

America has
     lots of good beer, and so does
the rest of the world.

Probably the best place
     to go is local users
groups for your platform.

So is this the part
     where I make my own shitty
novelty account?

Overall I think
     I think its just the whole team
getting frustrated.

Then set it on fire.
     Solid fire is a little
bit more difficult.

This move was not done
     to win this season, I'm shocked
you actually think that.

You tricked me again!
     i laughed harder at this than
most of the photos.

Jumping for joy? No.
     Try "oh shit oh shit oh shit!
What do I do now?!?"

I can volunteer
     my desktop Telling her is
the right thing to do.

That dude will always
     be the ultimate zombie
fighter in my book.

You (or the person
     from whom you got this image)
is lying. Why lie?

Just put on your smart
     nerd face and say "Well hello,
ladies [wink wink, smile].

What account is that?
     Shitty teamwork won't move you
up the 5v5 ladder.

How do you make them?
     [deleted] [deleted] There
should be no debate.

*tear* his personal
     noise meters were my favorite
Well, yeah, but we're *right*.

But make sure to take
     the LSD with some good
friends in a SAFE place.

I have the corsair
     k90 which has fantastic build
quality, love it.

It has pins sticking
     out with balls on them, very
far from the center.

I can barely stand
     my country's accent (I hate
listening to myself).

This money doesn't
     just become theirs, one phone call
and I get it back.

I wonder if you
     have, because you seem to be
trying to act witty.

It can't be denied,
     the guy is the best player
in the league right now.

Israel perhaps. Yeah...
     I'm not sure about this. Source?
I have to agree.

That's political
     correctness gone overboard
in my opinion.

Looked like it was still
     fun and games after the rape.
This is terrible.

TELL THEM WHAT WE DID.
     TELL THEM... TELL THEM THAT "YOU'RE" IS
NOT THE SAME AS "YOUR."

Learn each phrase til you
     can play it with your eyes shut.
That's basically it.

When they don't it is
     very easy to find out
specific countries.

That wouldn't explain
     why wine is stored vertical
in warehouses though.

I didn't even play
     the first two games, and I'm still
incredibly torn.

You know, if I could
     shove a puppy out of me
I totally would.

I didn't say it was
     boring, I said it wasn't
very good. It's not.

And the more picks you
     get, the more likely you are
to hit a winner.

All he has to do
     is ring in a tournament
and he gets money.

In this case, you get
     to choose if you want to be
offended by it.

The two strikers are
     usually pace horses like
you have which is good.

As a catholic girl
     in my dreams, I can confirm.
Is that really you?

Good point, luckily
     none of that happens because
drugs are illegal.

It was at a time
     and place that had been announced
for weeks, maybe months.

When I saw him his
     reddish brown color had turn
to gray and purple.

I know how you feel!
     It's horribly addicting!!!
But I cannot stop!

Smoke herb The correct
     caption for this should have been:
"THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!"

It's not hard to say
     "Rub my hair until I fall
asleep" though, is it?

[deleted] Flamed? Why?
     No, i just dislike the map.
And you have teams now.

Way too much effort
     to do much else. So you'd think.
Parents never do.

I'm not sure if I'm
     getting enough protein through
shakes and other shit.

Because the name is
     the website on this account,
you just earned a ban.

Whenever they would
     cut it out it would grow back
bigger and stronger.

[deleted] It has
     some sort of relevance, but
very minimal.

added you This is
     actually probably my favorite
iOS game ever.

So he's clean on that,
     since women can and -do- use
rape as an excuse.

Greatest casualties?
     No. Gruesome? Absolutely.
It doesn't exist.

Make sure there are no
     distractions and smoke it, lay
down, and close your eyes.

It'd still get passed
     but a lot more people would
be pissed about it.

Holy shit, you are
     the first one to ever take
note of that. Well played.

Woo! You're my hero.
     I'm not really sure about
that, to be honest.

Also various
     bits of this are borrowed from
other poetry.

Do things you suspect
     are a bad idea just
to see what happens.

Need something to ease
     the pain. I LOVE DINOSAURS!
But he's not mustard...

Yes, but 'shutter' should
     be included in the one
being discussed here.

Also, here is one
     pancake recipe that worked
really well for me.

Regularly check
     credit report for the next
two years. WHAT THE SHIT.

I've always wanted
     curly hair for the texture
so this is a switch.

You don't get to pick
     and choose what other people
call their religions.

Just to clarify,
     cheaper does not always mean
lower quality.

As bad as that is
     to think about at least then
you'll have some recourse.

I'm a pretty good
     motion graphics designer
and animator.

Read the comics from
     the start, the characters are
actually likeable.

If they want it on
     the network, it will have our
image and be tracked.

Honestly, I know
     how scared you are when you want
to approach someone.

[deleted] That won't
     work for me as I'm often
away from the house.

Pity it's going
     to the worst one of your life.
The light is now on.

Rumor is if you
     click it, on random, you will
be given free gold.

That is why after
     you cut them you should use them
to stuff a pillow.

I'm sure it probably
     depends on the area
you live in, as well.

By what argument?
     You've made an assertion, you
need to support it.

But I'd rather talk
     about what you're saying than
how you're saying it.