Reddit Haikus

If you aren't, and if
     you disagree with it, why
are you spreading it?

More wrecks happen on
     short tracks but they don't collect
as much of the field.

Working animals,
     including race horses, tend
to produce tough meat.

It's a gig that you
     do for reasons that can't be
measured in metrics.

I fully believe
     teachers should get paid better
and treated better.

Shortly. I can hum
     with both my mouth closed and nose
plugged at the same time.

But continue not
     being needy (this does not
mean leave). Escalate.

It acted a lot
     like Lyme disease but both tests
came back negative.

It's a little scuffed
     but I really have to look
at it to notice.

[deleted] I want
     people to post up questions.
That's why I'm in here.

Ah, nice. This thread seems
     related to what I was
just about to post.

Still, can't beat the price!
     [deleted] Cool. Then it sounds
like a solid plan.

[deleted] Ours loves
     to sleep in those little cat
beds just like this one.

So, while I think it's
     possible, I have been shown
no hard evidence.

[deleted] You can't
     kill yourself, take drugs, or sell
parts of your body.

What the fuck? It wont
     let me select a size, what's
up with this website?

Also, you're going
     to have to do a shit job
for a while, for free.

"Will you parry me?"
     What the hell, Jon? Is that some
kind of fencing joke?

[deleted] ok
     what do i have to download
and for what purpose?

Listen to answers.
     It's easy. But it's hard. Yup,
it's not actually her.

It is a general
     problem, not a specific
atheist problem.

Im straight but i would
     let him poke my butt Really
nice beards or nice arms.

Anyone know what
     number she is in the mail
order catalog?

[deleted] Top Gun....
     I could never land the jet
on the carrier.

If my bench or squat
     has dropped significantly,
we'll know you were right.

I'm from Chicago.
     It's like going from New York
to North Dakota.

After a thorough
     investigation, I can
prove that she does not.

[deleted] Awesome
     advice, I'll keep this is mind
when I get to town.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE
     DAMMIT. So how much did you
charge the old lady?

Top tower is more
     important, as it is key
for dragon control.

He didn't act famous
     and was apologizing
to me the whole time.

Owner tried to say
     the shop didn't put the filter
back on properly.

And depending on
     what you do, you get judged by
certain characters.

I've seen too many
     idiots light themselves on
fire trying to do that.

[deleted] I think
     the evolution of slang
is fascinating.

Yeah but if the old
     page dies, the people from there
might find the new one...

Either way, you can't
     say you are better than me
just because I click.

I'm a Democrat
     but I think less should be spent
on social programs.

Heather Locklear has
     to be the sweetest woman
I have ever met.

[deleted] Wait what?
     Adam Sandler is Waldo!
starring Rob Schneider.

Turn it all the way
     one direction and push on
the seat of the bike.

Second one should be
     "You aim too, please." They screwed up
and missed a comma.

I've lived all over
     but I'm in California
for the time being.

Chocolate pudding has
     the ability to mend
any broken heart.

[deleted] All head
     unit wire connections need
to at least be crimped.

[](/b14) Hey Pinkie, how
     do you get the Liberal Arts
major off your lawn?

...WAIT... What the hell is
     up with the high quality
rage comics today.

[](/hmmm) Do you think it's
     lonely out there on its own
the rest of the time?

Modern processors
     will shut themselves off after
hitting about 105C.

Exactly, I'm not
     sure why this suddenly got
people's attention.

THIS. I did this too
     once, except it was with friends,
and it was a 2v1.

Does this not describe
     sterile people with regards
to reproduction?

Its also really
     nice if your girl takes a long
time to orgasm.

While I understand
     what your trying to say, let me
point out a few things.

I've heard that they were
     that but also were going
to use robot names.

Wat do? where you from?
     I cannot divorce that song
from Moral Orel.

Not so much different
     languages as just making
slightly different points.

It will certainly
     have an impact though they can't
tell how far reaching.

This is all normal.
     [deleted] Such magnitude,
such simplicity.

[deleted] I look
     forward to never meeting
whoever made this.

(If anyone gets
     what I'm referencing, then you
deserve a medal.

It really is just
     the sort of thing that would be
RIGHT up her alley!

I believe he has
     the best shot at tossing out
the Conservatives.

As half Egyptian,
     I cannot wait to see what
the Egyptian does.

Great album. I thought
     I sometimes was till I learned
about you [This one?

Yeah, I don't know what
     I'm looking at here, either.
You're way off buddy.

You're way off buddy.
     Those migrant workers would be
10x worse off in SA.

Any idea
     how well they're supporting their
families back in SA?

It's probably a net
     evil for an Iraqi
whose home was blown up.

Doesn't it follow
     that you can prejudge certain
things from the first part?

Did you get decent
     traffic in there last night, or
was it kind of slow?

Then I saw the hands
     down the pants bit, and I had
to fight back a gasp.

I laughed harder than
     I should have. Parties with both
are fucking awesome.

The shape of the door
     handles fits and it's common
to find those 7-spoke rims.

They are all crazy
     about islam, way beyond
being reasonable.

The litter box is
     in a little room right off
the kitchen. Bastards.

Not "weed". We all know
     there is a difference in pot
and other street drugs.

Cheese and bacon balls.
     Dim Sim (This is a berry
oriental one).

That is what my first
     divided column describes
(for p, q, and r).

I get a perverse
     pleasure in knowing their time
is being wasted.

I'm not a bigot!
     I just like using those words!'
is fucking bullshit.

I don't understand
     why your parents would refuse
to tell you themselves.

Something meaningful
     and from your own mind would be
the best idea.

It's time to call up
     Bruce Willis and his ragtag
team of oil drillers.

We killed the dream by
     expecting the Fed Gov would
fulfill it for us.

Someone... please help me.
     The actor who plays Corky
came to my school once.

If this is a joke
     video how come no laughs?
Definitely yes!

Totally normal,
     and don't worry about her
not contacting you!

The Mona Lisa
     is a flawless masterpiece?
[deleted] Requests?

[deleted] Requests?
     To be fair, it DOES almost
convincingly fit.

Vancouver is not
     nearly the most expensive
city in the world.

like larry david,
     i'd rather sit than stand when
i piss in my house.

Eastern Washington.
     I used to watch this over
and over again.

What's wrong with 'homely'?
     I think he's generally tagged
as "4chan is leaking".

I think it depends
     heavily on your local
real estate market.

And I deleted
     any evidence I had
that could have been used.

One could say the same
     thing about American
Catholicism.

I was in the same
     situation and we had
to divi up stuff.

i cant imagine
     what a fucking stud that dude
felt like afterward.

I've never seen him
     do anything that earns him
that vernacular.

I sat down to pee.
     With my underwear still on.
It was a long day.

Max used to pee on
     the floor every time my dad
would come home from work.

other than saying
     "he's a shutdown corner" you
don't ever hear shit.

Or a Highlander.
     This really is the best game
besides Uncharted.

You might want to see
     if Oscar has a few loose
teeth somewhere in there.

Whenever I see
     these pictures it makes me miss
this place even more.

I am the most sad.
     Hey, your story sounds really
similar to mine.

Just replace the paint
     with pure capsaicin, even
more fun to be had.

BOTH YOU AND YOUR MAN
     FRIEND SHOULD PUT SHOES ON YOUR HEAD
WHILST NUDE tape it down.

How did I get here?
     I like how the paper is
speaking in Chinese.

paid no attention
     in class that day and just stared
all class for an hour.

Treat yourself like one.
     Avoid situations where
junk food is around.

I think you should just
     come out and tell her that you
were her admirer.

And have a slow time
     release of that energy
thus causing the glow.

Freshman year band. "Hot
     Date at Walmart" was the first
song I ever wrote.

//Cheers! Wow, there are more
     haters than I usually
see in those comments.

I checked the city's
     board for missing animals
and he was not there.

The. Bumper. Our drawer
     we put our keys in, is right
next to our trash can.

I'm debt free, saving
     and investing I will say
the following though.

Great Scott! I could fill
     up that glass with something else
for you to guzzle.

Regardless of what
     Mormons might believe, Jews do
not share the same view.

Ignorance can be
     fixed by information, but
you can't fix stupid.

Yeah, I always feel
     really good when I'm going
down on my boyfriend.

And how much money
     is borrowed to mortgage those
properties from banks?

The golden age is
     alive and well for those who
are flying that much.

Never first hand though...
     I can't believe you wasted
your time writing that.

Right off the bat, you
     can tell from core rotation
who's thrower and thrown.

Luckily I jumped
     off the mountain side before
getting killed. bout what?

North Oak Cliff is great.
     Bars are fun, good food, taco
stands, etc.

Reimer was really
     built up by the media
after the first year.

[deleted] Really?
     What made you choose that? Please don't
make jokes about that.

Looks like your mother
     was ecstatic in wanting
to take a picture.

Just to be clear all
     Shit Even then it can all
be simulated.

Another question
     I thought of is how much do
you rest between sets?

Making this a deal
     breaker is kind of silly,
but that's their problem.

Bruges is a fine place
     if you grew up on a farm,
and were retarded.

I suggest you reach
     out to professional help
as soon as you can.

It's what's called "rose grey"
     He may very well "get it,"
he just doesn't care.

NEVER HAVE I SEEN
     SUCH A BABE! i think you are
extremely sexy.

I do not believe
     simply because there is no
way to disprove God.

I'm an only child.
     My mom couldn't have any
more kids after me.

That incident was
     before the stealing but still
that's pretty crappy.

At the most recent
     one this past month we had 65ish
people at the house!

Or, was it lost by
     losing water and waste from
the human colon?

Half Life Two is great
     Half Life Three would be better
But Two is still good.

I see Kevin Weeks
     is taking dressing tips from
Grapes.... THANK YOU SO MUCH!

You kind of look like
     Ronda Rousey now. I mean
that in a good way.

I've had to go through
     the rush and pledge period
like anyone else.

That shave butter is
     the only shaving product
I've bought that I hate.

I think that's a task
     that will take some months and Ill
be happy with it.

wow, are you really
     this much of a loser off
the internet too?

Listening now, how did
     I not know of this sooner?
She is amazing!

you're a clever mum.
     this is something she'll pass on
to her little girl.

Logical thinking
     and the firearm industry?
Thanks. That's a great laugh.

Looks futuristic!
     But doesn't the sideways dell
logo annoy you?

I mean, i assume
     everyone on here just wants
to buy more watches.

*sigh* Not a 'good chance',
     and not big enough to do
any real damage.

Screening shows something
     awry, maternal health, job
loss, etc.

As long as there are
     more food and wine festivals,
fuck the rest of earth.

Texas doesn't do
     special last meals anymore.
This is amazing.

I wasn't sure if
     I could go to a single
outlet (I'd like to!).

Therefore Plato did
     *not* invent the republic.
Obviously. ain't.

But don't Keynesians
     do the same thing to discern
their own policies?

[deleted] I don't
     understand what's going on,
but it seems funny.

That's perhaps the best
     relationship advice I've
ever been given.

Always do this when
     I'm bringing groceries into
the house from the car.

Well, you had the best
     defense in the league last year
WITHOUT Mario.

Epic. a substrate
     not as big as gravel but
not as small as sand??

First off, and I think
     this is important, it is
not a carbon tax.

Are you retarded?
     That's the reason his brother
jumped off a building.

So, I naturally
     let the answering machine
do its job: *"Hello?

You'll end up paying
     much more for the loans over
the life of the loan.

They're very urgent,
     and I actually feel like they're
tense and at times real.

I would not expect
     that sort of thing where I live.
Please tell me the school.

The plan is to no
     longer live here by the time
she can move around.

If you were paying
     attention, then you'll know what
not to do next time.

And I think that might
     be mine... But I can't be sure.
Anyways, thanks! Ha!

Ha! You have the worst
     timing ever. Rain delay.
Fancy! Good on you!

Not Kirk Cameron.
     since when did they make cheese fries?
Does it work both ways?

I think this is his
     son I'm pretty sure the whole
thing was staged, who cares?

write about what you
     think giving in would feel like.
would it be worth it?

This was was a gift,
     and I'm trying to make my form
worthy of the tool.

I also would love
     to hear Climbing up the Walls
or My Iron Lung.

sure, but from the few
     videos we've seen, its still
too early to tell.

I used to drive by
     that place, never got around
to going there though.

This will also be
     something I'll try to pay more
attention to now.

Or i know someone
     that played it for the free month
and thought it was shit.

I had back and knee
     problems before I started.
Now, non existent.

He just doesn't want
     someone to ding his penis.
Very clever Thanks.

Too bad the hive mind
     doesn't like disagreement
with their opinions.

I need to get me
     some of that mustard color.
I'm in love with it.

I usually go
     to the Sears location next
to the Fayette Mall.

If you're religious
     the walk around the upper
section is awesome.

Rear ended someone,
     because I was spacing out
while stopped at a light.

A ream of paper
     and a bag of sand! Apples.
They're the way to go.

Don't put tomato
     based products into (porous)
plastic containers.

Nothing is tainted.
     Yo! Why you not making these
baskets over here?

Kale? Watermelon?
     Tofu, kiwi, bell peppers,
lettuce, pears, onions?

Call me a Nervous
     Nellie, but I'm not very
reassured by that.

And I just realized
     how horrible my math was
in my first comment.

Your breasts actually look
     really sexy. Don't do it!
Immediately.