Reddit Haikus

Woodrow Wilson was
     generally a smart guy, but
he was a racist.

I know what they are,
     but only because I've read
American Gods.

I learned a truck load
     but outside of that I do
not miss it at all!

Also, you would've
     eaten the goat hadn't you
sacrificed the goat.

You: Thank you again!
     I'm happy to pull forward
when I have my food.

Which organs and or
     limbs is best bang for the buck
to sell do you think?

Thank you. [deleted]
     The other guy did come, that's
how she got pregnant.

In your other post
     you almost sound like "That Guy";
I had to confirm.

Is what a depressed
     person might say. I assume.
No clue what to do?

Imagine you can
     measure the height of the earth
at the Equator.

But it has become
     and is an inherently
female thing to do.

How can it be love
     when their parents had to choose
their partner for them?

Associated
     pic is not the new album's
cover, by the way.

I'm all in favor
     pretty girls who did cool things
making posts like this.

She's gonna be blamed
     and won't be able to prove
you said you'd do it.

I'm eating clean, not
     starving myself, and enough
to keep seeing gains.

Yea, when the parents
     don't act like parents the kid
usually loses.

[deleted] Awesome.
     [deleted] Scott Pilgrim is
my favorite movie.

Also, We didn't find
     out about her condition
until this last year.

You are assuming
     something about me without
even meeting me.

So because one kid
     tripped and broke his arm, no one
is allowed to run?

This is why any
     cop who has sex on duty
is VERY STUPID.

For that matter, I'd
     call it only partially true
for evolution.

The rich don't get rich
     because of some inherent
value they possess.

commentator their
     job, and more than likely their
entire career.

The bodice ended
     in a straight line in those times,
it's also too long.

If it makes you feel
     any better, I do feel
kind of silly now.

Hopefully they will
     be replaced after being
rightfully removed.

What state are you in?
     Some states require a masters
to get credentials.

[deleted] Border
     Collies have very human
comprehension, too.

It looks like Ronald
     McDonald before he got
his super powers.

But I know people
     who type like that so I will
give you an up vote.

(Don't call us monsters.
     You people sue.) Dad hasn't
quite made it home yet.

I think his writers
     are pretty funny I take
back the gore comment.

Just because someone
     feels bad that they're fucking up
doesn't mean they aren't.

a pack of ravens
     are invincible, i thought
everyone knew this.

Our intake amounts
     to a drop in the ocean
in the scheme of things.

I sit mostly by
     myself and I hate being
seen as a loner.

Be nine and a half."
     META I guess you didn't read
the entire thread?

[deleted] I drink
     energy drinks like other
people drink coffee.

I wanted to share
     my tips in case they can help
anyone else out.

Fans of Big Ten teams
     don't forget who their rivals
are like those down south.

Unfortunately
     my friend bailed on me, so I'm
solo for the night.

I just wish someone
     would rip off the formula
and sell it cheaper.

Go to law school then.
     They still enforce a strict curve
so grades mean something.

If you want to make
     your waffle interesting, add
sage and dried apples.

Some aspects can be
     improved in order to work
smarter and faster.

The reason I ask
     is, it makes all the difference
in the world to HIM.

It just won't happen.
     It can't. The system is set
up so that it can't.

[deleted] Funny
     thing is it's just the one page
she wants to fuck up.

Thanks for that, I was
     actually having a hard time
being sure of that.

I used it two years
     ago when that hard drive on
my Compaq M700 died.

Also, I have all
     day, every day until school
starts to get through these.

Don't do it. You'll give
     in and end up eating them
while making your build.

I would pretty much
     always say "I've got" instead.
[deleted] Awesome.

other than being
     lonely I'm doing okay
at the moment thanks.

It pretty much stopped
     growing after that b Oh,
flying fucks with tails.

Otherwise, people
     would only get infections
inside the body.

I bet Mozart would
     think this shit was a riot.
It's called lick my ass.

I have a feeling
     James Cameron is involved.
But what if they didn't?

hey hey hey, fuck you
     :P Post Traumatic Stress League.
[deleted] Thank you.

Claws your their cats quite
     frequently, where skunks don't use
em often. apple?...

The personnel on
     the train had no idea
there was a stuck brake.

Wait until you guys
     see his later creations.
Thanks for the support!

I don't want to get
     promoted from my current job,
but I'd love a raise.

And thus raise taxes
     on the poor and middle class,
as well as the rich.

I feel as if you
     guys get hassled by the same
questions all the time.

[deleted] Their oil
     was already being sold
on world oil markets.

this just sounds like you're
     making a bad idea
worse Wow, nostalgia!

I say go for it!
     [deleted] First off, this is
not a giveaway.

Opened the washing
     machine, pulled out the top rack,
there was my keyboard.

From what I gathered,
     this is SOP in assembly
line type factories.

I'll definitely
     consider this and get back
to you. Thanks a lot.

I have those exact
     stars, and more, been saving them
since I was a kid.

Everything. What's not
     to like? Good looking. Charming.
Nice. Way beyond smart.

and is currently
     in jail, and Goodell doesn't
suspend or fined him.

That'll shut her up.
     obama supporters need
to go back to 4chan.

I think orange is
     better for me, but apple
is much tastier.

[deleted] It's grass
     is always greener syndrome.
What do you suspect?

To hide his body
     just drag him in the air vent.
You're very welcome.

Sips cup of Starbucks
     coffee, as he looks over
this post... Don't do that.

You would have many
     professional eyes going
over the same thing.

Extra sprinkles!") man,
     another bad ass model!
Love the weathering.

fine then get a rash
     because tucking your tee shirt
in is not cool Nice.

Had you ever had
     sex with a female while you
still had a penis?

Every time I do
     I laugh harder than I did
the time before it.

*shrugs* was bored Never
     tell him that you're leaving. Man.
Glad I don't live there.

You got to give him
     some credit though, people fall
for it all the time..

He just said ok
     and handed me a general
admission ticket.

Sorry, bro, I come
     here to laugh and your comic
does not deliver.

Im cringing, its like
     watching a girl take tampons
out and chunks fall out.

Sure, come on over.
     Save Pedro honey bees do
not nest under ground.

If you've been using
     baby wipes without problems,
more power to you.

Most of those rules don't
     really make practical sense.
que sera, sera.

Doesn't make as much
     sense without the comment you
were replying to.

[deleted] Someone
     did that to your house and then
you PAID them for it?

I'll take one, thank you.
     [](/b12 "It should be shouldn't it?")
This, I'm fine with. Lets!

I wonder why huge
     corporations and banks aren't
supporting Ron Paul.

The stupid living
     doll wasn't too nice either,
but the clown beats it.

There are things that will
     get your kid taken away
pretty instantly.

It's after you take
     the first test when you know if
you should skip or not.

Divide and Rule, when
     the real problem is peons
vs Ruling Class.

The fine for selling
     animals illegally
is $25....that is a joke!!

as soon as they move
     to lock move my feet to where
just the toes are crossed.

Then you can send Gene
     Labell emails telling HIM
that he's full of shit.

Especially this one.
     I get paid to judge women.
Where is your god now?

Hey! This sounds awesome.
     I was looking for somewhere
to take the lady.

Dissent doesn't make
     something wrong, though I'm willing
to admit it may.

The rich should not be
     taxed a higher percentage.
That is just unfair.

Didn't really like it.
     Stick to individual
flavors, folks. Or not.

I DON'T give a fuck.
     [](/eyes "Hey don't try and trick me.")
[deleted] an eighth.

What is going on
     there is that your brother sucks
at dressing himself.

For me it's the same
     for the internet and books.
You still 1up me though.

No construction jobs
     because of the housing glut?
Learn a different trade.

They're okay, but I'd
     probably size up a little
next time. I like it.

My aunt, and the fifth
     child in the family, asked her
why she had five then.

Whiners. I'm looking,
     but I have no idea
who the fuck it is.

You're right though, it's much
     better for karma to just
make a stupid joke.

Now I don't care if
     I am alone. But fuck you,
and your stupid club.

With arms. [deleted]
     You and every other 'troll'
on every server.

its been getting picked
     at long before this recent
'job creator' thing.

Why no X:1 standard?
     It's obvious that you are
the real racist here.

We haven't scared off
     the third guy yet, and I hope
he stays to the end.

It started to rain
     wolf chunks (not graphically, more
like furry brownies).

For example you
     can find poker chips, playing
cards, etc.

[deleted] the dog
     knows whats coming to him wine
glass should match the wine.

let me tell you its
     better to be the pitcher
than the receiver.

Stupid sponsoring!
     [deleted] There are a few
people doing that.

What?!?!?! Bitches be trying
     to change that shit when it comes
on the radio.

If you want to get
     sexed up on a regular
basis, find that man!

How in the world did
     you catch so many at once!?
Apps never crash? Check.

i really like that.
     First: her body, she can do
what she wants with it.

This way when the prep
     time comes, the worst of it will
be over quickly.

"Oh, something on fire
     that is going to kill me?
I don't give a fuck."

Is it just me, or
     does that guy's head look way too
small for his body?

Do what the kid says.
     [deleted] Definitely
made great by Hillmer.

Fuck legalizing
     gay marriage, finding my one
true love, whatever.

Then minimum wage
     would no longer exist or
go up really high.

Is it real? It sounds
     delicious, and it should be
served with a Guinness.

Agreed. Although if
     Butters kept it it could still
be pretty awesome.

This guy. Can I just
     say, as an audiophile,
THANK GOD FOR EARPLUGS.

I'll take an M please!
     You must have missed the daily
deal a few weeks back!

For the main voting,
     everyone only gets one
vote to spend each week.

All I know for sure
     is that I'm not buying games
from Steam any more.

Sorry! I mostly
     play spy so otherwise I'd
totally be down.

People that enslave
     and kill thousands of others
just out of a whim.

This can't be real... Ya...
     "second layer" is a poor
way to describe it.

Anyone moving
     that quantity of weed is
moving shitty weed.

I don't remember,
     precisely, the intimate
feel of a woman.

Woke? What? I think you
     mean "like my status if you're
*awake*. That sounds rough.

I thought the user
     sending you love letters was
the thing scaring you.

No drugs, no liquor,
     just severe contemplation
and introspection.

You chose to ignore
     your bosses warnings that you
needed to hurry.

Gorgeous place... not sure
     if it's a good idea
to go now or not.

for some dumb reason
     (i'm high) i didn't get the whole
thing in the picture.

Helmet to helmet
     doesn't equal defenseless
receiver, buddy.

Go! what the, how could
     you reach such a specific
conclusion like that?

It's all good right bro?
     We're cool? Next time you ask that,
wait for the reply.

This again impacts
     the cost of any device
plugged into the port.

He is my hero
     because he has sacrificed
everything for me.

Cops don't get away
     with as much as people seem
to think, honestly.

But when she's on her
     mood stabilizers, there's not
much wrong with her mood.

The pumpkin is out
     [deleted] what's christina
h like in real life?

Get the fuck over
     if the lane is clear and you
can help someone out.

My name is Andrew.
     I am sorry for the wrong
that was committed.

The best time to buy
     is when you have the money
and the desire.

Crew, for example.
     I know this because I saw
"The Social Network."

What is it called then?
     I really wish linguists would
separate these lists out.

Sleep deprivation
     alone is enough to make
someone miserable.

Ain't white guilt a bitch?
     *That's right; I just assumed you
were white. Deal with it.

You go to that much
     trouble to write good essays?
Use a thesaurus?

I usually get
     my news and information
from the newspaper.

It's people like you
     that make Ron Paul supporters
seem straight out insane.

It might not go well
     at first, but all things become
better with practice.

Bottom line you should
     absolutely be learning
during the lecture.

Did it take awhile
     to get it cleaned up and was
the place like blocked off?

I love that you made
     yourself the stupid guy face
in the third panel.

There is no Northern
     hemisphere equivalent
to Super Rugby.

It still took me time.
     A minute is a long time
on the internet.

You changed what she meant
     by getting rid of the first
half of the sentence.

How can you tell if
     these publications have these
things that you mentioned?

Daylight savings time
     generates no more sunlight
than standard time does.

Just fucking do it.
     Anxious? Just fucking do it.
Not had a good day?

Anxious? Just fucking
     do it. Not had a good day?
Just fucking do it.

Five Guys is closer
     in quality to a real
burger joint (almost).

Do you know what his
     first thoughts were upon seeing
the scale of it all?

Salman Khan got things
     started, and now the world needs
thousands more like him.

Though I've totally
     run into chicks in the guy's
bathroom in one dorm.

This is expressly
     for the purpose of fitting
more stuffing in them.

Hell even total
     strangers are now asking me
why I'm not married.

Do they use local
     soured information or
look further a field?

It IS possible.
     And YOU are fooling yourself
if you believe that.

I also have all
     the coupons for kids stuff if
anyone has kids.

i got it once but,
     i all i had to do was
delete the glob file.

Your guess is as good
     as mine, but guessing doesn't
do us any good.

If you don't read it,
     or put it off like I did,
you might kick yourself.

Spend a few weeks each
     summer traveling and doing
things you want to do.

I didn't even need
     to accept the student loans
that I was offered.

Found out a couple
     days later that he actually
did fracture three ribs.

I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE.
     This is awesome, been waiting
for something like this!

Poor woman. I've been
     trying to make up for it since.
Oh, and the park loop?