Reddit Haikus

And yes, big names DO
     in fact put people in seats
or watching TV.

What happened, i think,
     was that you actually performed
astral projection.

"play like girls".. That is
     **NOT** what it is called. It's called
playing as a team.

It's not even new
     to me (seen it a few times),
but it's still funny.

Keep it up. You won't
     only be able to read
YA books forever.

Soon he'll disown you
     while you sit in the next room.
Let him. Don't be hurt.

He won't be able
     to get a job for a while,
but it'll be okay.

You have a perfect
     body, don't let anyone
tell you otherwise!

Too much shit pops up
     wherever I put my mouse
in this article.

This just in: the US
     is by far the wealthiest
nation in the world.

I used to tell them
     that a rat became a mouse
once it was inside.

Or is the campus
     completely isolated
away from the town?

That both are too set
     in their ways to see the big
picture I suppose.

The second thought is,
     *today my kid would have been
six years, x months old.

I have exactly
     as much control as someone
not using a script.

I want to know what
     the deleted comments said
D: The guide I used.

At the beginning
     there is an elevator
you have to take up.

your mom's a hybrid
     fruit Redstone or Flint & Steel.
you are breathtaking.

Go to your local
     Mexican grocery and get
the Mexican Coke.

But definitely
     discuss it with your family
if its serious.

Post links already!
     Really guys? This was posted
like a week ago...

The argument "if
     you don't like it, don't use it"
rarely holds water.

So she pretty much
     slipped through every medical
crack when she was born.

You graduated
     from high school, and you're still young.
Time is on your side.

I was the exact
     opposite, I think that I was
too nervous to cum.

Now that one is pure
     sexy, mind doing it while
you suck your finger?

I mean there are no
     tricks that are going to boost
your skill overnight.

[deleted] They're gross.
     Plus, who doesn't have their own
computer these days?

I guess it must be
     pretty good if that many
people have bought it.

I feel I should ask
     the question on everyone's
lips, what is your name?

Why the fuck would you
     need to control your TV
from a different room?

If you're suffering from
     depression, the first thing you
should look to is prayer.

Sometimes you just make
     the right contact, and it could
be through charity.

There is a reason
     everybody gives the same
advice, cause it works).

It's now: "K, never
     spawn void rays" I should probably
find a middle ground.

Too often people
     think the president has more
power than he does.

Go USA. note:
     For the record, I really
do like my country.

Boards of Canada
     is my favorite band ever.
Thanks for posting this.

"This is the old way.
     You won't see this anymore."
Honestly, so what?

These places often
     had straw mats, nice surroundings,
freshly made juices.

It's messed up, but not
     as horrifying as most
make it out to be.

Oh and most of all
     take care of yourself eat right
and get enough sleep.

You told him you don't
     agree that he doesn't hate
gays, etc.

I did not even
     notice it until it was
pointed out to me.

[deleted] How'd you
     figure her age? That's awesome.
Gatorade does this.

And there's another
     one in the series coming
out in October.

That's one giant chin.
     Semantics. =D Tell us [](/stare)
[deleted] Brilliant!

Glasses off, hair down.
     Hair up glasses off... No, no,
glasses on, hair down.

However the bush
     is a bit more luscious than
most Australian bush.

Are there people who
     abuse this right we have? Sure.
Should they be punished?

So I can rule out
     any houses at the North
Pole without basements.

Once you have the game,
     you never need to open
origin again.

I fine tune my shit
     so don't try to tell me how
to leave a comment.

For its cost and how
     far you have to tech to it,
it just not worth it.

Don't blame the altar
     boys for being all sexy
and shit. Thanks dude, yeah.

They saw me (before
     my birth) as a sort of bit
player in their lives.

[deleted] My mom
     used to be a higher up
exec at Charles Schwab.

You wont regret it.
     If you don't smoke can probably
skip amsterdam. So?

If you don't smoke can
     probably skip amsterdam. So?
It's the internet.

Life is terrible.
     True. Nah, there are always bins
in the stalls in Crete.

Maybe he'll go all
     Alan Jones when he retires
and blimp up a bit.

The father loved it,
     apparently, but a few
were horrified. This.

EDIT: I also
     tap my fingers with my thumb
in an S motion.

Everyone says its
     super comfortable, but
I just can't do it.

(And ME3 is supposed
     to being back the longer
missions) Guys do that?

I'm so glad I didn't.
     Yeah, this is in HI and that's
the term we use here.

How many hours do
     you get out of one of those
candles anyway?

Hell, I don't even
     know about any second
cousins I might have.

the thing is, to do
     this you have to teach your dog
to open the fridge.

Sadly, even those
     that do get the humor will
not find it funny.

How I act around
     my friends is not how I act
around my family.

Hadn't thought of that.
     In that case nose pointing would
be permissible.

[deleted] Your last
     Paragraph rings true but not
for the right reason.

Or a lot of it.
     Use two if the first one is
less than effective.

Works for windows straight
     out of the box, command keys
become windows key.

Sounds like a nice place,
     but no way I'd ever line
up to go somewhere.

I was not impressed.
     The cocktails in the lobby
lounge were lovely, though.

I really didn't think
     any of the above were
contentious points though.

I just want to say
     what you did is amazing,
and you inspire me.

I'm glad they helped you;
     they've helped me in difficult
situations too.

helping out for one
     day really isn't going
to do anything.

You're an adult who
     MIGHT have another adult
interested in them.

I had great credit
     just before college and got
offers all the time.

Time to masturbate
     he ate the chinese food from
INSIDE YOUR STOMACH?!

If yes, would I be
     able to tell directions
with an erection?

It might also be
     worth checked the "main" Dairy Queen
website before hand.

[deleted] Hello,
     I found your story tender
and evocative.

Time to Chang it up.
     Between you and me, I don't
Chang that many chicks.

I really would not
     recommend it for a first
time experience.

Helium balloons
     pop at quite low altitudes,
especially foil ones.

I peel them, then cut
     to rounds about half inch thick,
then cut those smaller.

They should be ashamed
     to call themselves atheists.
Brevity is wit.

"meritocracy"?
     Which country are we talking
about now? China?

How about bike lanes,
     car shares, subways, high speed rail,
and all that good shit.

Friends help you when you're
     in danger, friends are people
who are not strangers.

I really want you
     to understand what I'm trying
to express to you.

This etiquette is
     still stupid, even though you
must abide by it.

Yep, and the courts can
     and have overridden gold
contracts in the past.

Get better and less
     faking expanding and then
rushing dark templar.

When that time comes, give
     'em a quick nuke in the mic
and you're good to go!

Not joking at all.
     Girl was shocked and didn't believe
I was a virgin.

Fine job. Honestly,
     if it were up to me, I'd
give him a medal.

Is that not rather
     specifically why we should
help these idiots?

People in groups do
     not arrive at conclusions
based on evidence.

I want to know what
     others think (hence my asking).
So, what do ya think?

I unlocked the G3
     and used it for a bit, then
went back to the M16.

These are things I try
     to do when I want to be
in a better mood.

I'm surprised no one
     has suggested wooden tools
or something like that.

Oh and I'm gonna
     absolutely check out these
Body Language books.

At least put on some
     makeup and use a proper
digital camera.

HOLY SHIT HE KNOCKED
     THE GUY OUT OF HIS SHOES. Well,
I'll be damned. You're right!

Surely a college
     prodigy knows all about
using search engines.

[edit] *Except when
     actively looking it up,
such as the links here.

So even though these
     laws may stay on the books, they're
not enforceable.

Dust. In. Eyes. I don't
     understand why ANYONE
is down voting this.

Should I start changing
     my passwords to "flying dick
butt" and be safer?

[deleted] Unlike
     many rappers, he actually
really has money...

You could go to her
     and say "OMG WHAT IS
THAT! LOOK! WHAT IS THAT!

If the guy complains,
     tell him to go fuck himself
and get out of there.

Why wouldn't every
     death row inmate get sloppy
drunk before they die?

The perception is
     young people are easier
to work with and train.

A valid point, but
     then you realize that she's rigged
elections before.

Passionate debate
     is important, especially
in mass media.

No you didn't. Are you
     looking for any series
in particular?

What's to stop me from
     shooting landscapes or abstracts,
and selling framed prints?

I find that I feel
     uncomfortable doing
things alone sometimes...

Yes, you should buy it.
     The first generation was
more simple, that's why.

Consider even
     such a simple statement as,
"I'll be seeing you."

That's the longest I've
     ever looked at boobs without
getting a hard on.

[deleted] Just like
     the one obsessed with marriage.
Even wore a ring.

I thought you were trying
     to defend his freedoms not
his stupidity.

It can be a great
     medium for medium
to small objects. This.

[deleted] I hate
     Jack Edwards more, but Pierre
is a close second!

Once he leaves Chelsea
     I'll be able to really
be a fan again.

There was no cliche
     in that small penis comment.
That was a good one.

Costs can be hidden
     in products, not surfacing
for years or decades.

The root problem is
     not "how much regulation?
More or none at all?"

You should consider
     that as an alternative
to a Raid setup.

You felt it coming
     and still continued to squat?
That's pretty dumb. Damn!

Out on her ass? Sure,
     and I agree that she needs
to lose her job. Sued?

Chest Bump? Both.. The ones
     that beat women are always
like this. sheer beauty.

As I mentioned toward
     the end, I ultimately
side with him as well.

However, finding
     out what the cause is for you
may not be simple.

Also helpful if
     you have a loud roommate or
one who has loud sex.

I remember when
     becoming an adult was
fun and exciting.

Are you implying
     'conservative' media
doesn't use that tone?

At that point we might
     as well condone torture! Ha!
Could you imagine?

Test? Cake! Piece of cake.
     Put in nine nines, square root then
the integer key.

How are we suppose
     to pay for the supplies then?
Or the ambulance?

Or the ambulance?
     Or for our health insurance?
Or for our paychecks?

Man, I'd heard that song
     sung a couple times, never
knew where it came from.

Your dad is a don.
     Fuck you for making Eyes Wide
Shut with Tom Cruise. Fuck.

It's like the scripture
     about God making the most
from the least. So true...

It comes from pig shit.
     That's an unnecessary
(and untrue) comment.

DO IT. [deleted]
     Copy Pasting is a tough
job, my friend. Leave now.

Detroit: For Detroit
     I stuck to original
six simplicity.

It doesn't matter
     if it's based on science or
actually factual.

MY SISTER BUTT BAO!!!
     From the thumb i thought it was
Churchill and Stalin.

Thanks! I don't know if
     he's in Slovenia or
Serbia or what.

The Russian scene from
     The Punisher. Poor movie,
fantastic sequence.

Historical sights,
     Mediterranean, high
standard of living.

Also please explain
     what you mean by the growing
account imbalance.

On the computer,
     More bored than ever before,
Oh look! rage comics!

Where I'm from, 'Vegan'
     is a Native word. It means;
"He who cannot hunt".

When you do, you'll find
     that your friends are important.
Completely agree.

[deleted] I am
     all for you getting a gun
to protect yourself.

Now we just know more
     about why people got sick
and how to fix it.

their older stuff is
     better, but still made me smile
to see them on there.

Japan....... That is all
     Not condescending at all.
I forget it's there.

That is precisely
     why I am not asked to go
to church anymore.

They are not warriors.
     They did not sign up to join
the military.

It just means it is
     either fresher or has been
stored slightly better.

They can pick it back
     up once they start making more
than they are spending.

Nonetheless, the fact
     you came across this post makes
this a small, small world.

An english tourist
     pulled me out and I'm pretty
sure she saved my life.

It was not income
     generation directed
towards Extra Credits.

Do you realize how
     brave your son is, and how proud
you should be of him?

If he ever did
     get married would you attend
his ceremony?

Holy crap. There are
     *families* out there that wouldn't
exist without you.

I play it windowed
     precisely because of this.
Function follows form.

Even though we had
     seen him at the local gay
club with his boyfriend.

I'm cool with drug tests
     for people receiving aid
from the government.

Limbo!!!!!! [deleted]
     Phew. This thread had me confused
for a little bit.

It would need something
     more to memorialize
the rest of those lost.

When I was three or
     four I had a black and white
cat named Tuxedo.

Cool. Well, who's going
     to try it with porn? EDIT:
I couldn't resist.

Yes in a perfect
     world it wouldn't exist but
this is the real world.

could be he bird food
     I carry in my pocket
This bro speaks the truth!

People grieve different
     for different things, so don't hang
yourself up on that.

Skip James is killin
     [McDonalds Don't talk to me
Coffee Commercial.

You should join a rec
     league, or a squash, badminton
or tennis ladder!

Do you do a clear
     coat after the weathering
to seal the pastels?

You should be able
     to pick them up at any
craft store worth its salt.

Your shield will almost
     always be up and you will
heal substantially.

Callus build up should
     be done over a slower
period of time.

During the winter,
     I use a heating pad on
my feet every night!

You become subject
     to their law which is different
from civilian law.

Don't give a single
     fuck about getting into
trouble over it.

I think Dustin could
     have transcended the gimmick
just like 'taker has.

That was refreshing.
     Never watched the show before...
but that was awesome.

Or more succinctly:
     *Every bounded entire
function is constant.