Reddit Haikus

I've seen Man U fans
     say they wish he'd get injured
so he wouldn't play.

Europe can't afford
     even that but it will cost
less than keeping them.

I hadn't actually
     tried that but it came to mind.
I do like the map.

The fact that I quit
     cold turkey means you can quit
however you want.

It's so surreal you
     could be sober and still feel
as if you're on drugs.

Good luck, I hope you
     find someone compatible
with your needs and wants.

On one hand, I was
     pumped she'd returned and legit
gutted she didn't win.

You're east of us hence
     "back East" rather than "East teams"
Do you even math?

**"As president, would
     you take action to hasten
the end of the world?

The courts don't address
     that, from my experience
and from what I've read.

Grabbing a loaded
     shotgun gun and looking straight
into the barrel.

Because it sounds like
     you have no idea what
you're talking about.

NO ONE WAS PLAYING
     BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING REF
BLOWING THE PLAY DEAD!!!

Were there people hurt?
     Were any of the story's
characters near it?

Funny or sincere?
     What happens that brings these two
people together?

One of the favored
     children and one that was on
the outs like I was.

Unless your using
     questionable cotton then
that's pretty much it.

Fountain beverages
     are better than canned sodas
in my opinion.

It's exactly how
     my grandfather would explain
how to do something.

If you're old enough
     go out and have a drink, talk
to some people there.

It sounds like people
     create new characters all
the time, is that true?

give them to a main
     character you created?
[removed] Sword fighting.

No it's not, and there
     isn't enough evidence
to support that claim.

Burn it down! He's not
     leaving because of today
and didn't say that's why.

Finally, someone
     who notices how fucked up
Golden Freddy is.

Even without these
     penalties, we've only put
up six points so far.

I doubt the ACA
     had any significant
effect on that trend.

if encryption can
     be 'circumvented' it stops
being encryption.

$2/mo is a bit harsh.
     I like that Link figurine.
Where can I get one?

I always like when
     there are many different food
that I get to try.

Oklahoma sounds
     like, but that's probably a good
thing Thanks for sharing!

No paranormal
     to it, just straight up murder
and terrorizing.

Why would they put them
     on sale when they're already
selling like hotcakes?

Yeah, it was abrupt,
     but how else was he going
to give us the news?

Those don't seem to be
     examples of government
"acting without need."

It's a fantastic
     premise, and the movie was
competently made.

And there's a reason
     why they dropped two slots while still
winning every game.

If there's a difference
     beyond that, it's that Bivens
is more limited.

This animation
     will never get old for me.
Damn you Ocelot!

I'd be down for sure.
     Wish hockey was a bigger
thing here. Where are you?

I wanted to know
     if he knew the real reason
or his own reason.

I used to think think
     that no matter what I would
circumcise my child.

If you have other
     Black Mages with good gear, just
upgrade it, really.

Oh well. Nice to see
     that anything can be joked
about just the same.

A streamer getting
     angry at you is probably
something you don't want.

But this does not mean
     that love (or sex), in general,
is an addiction.

It would be very
     counter logic to not go
for forgiven though.

Whether this extends
     to Santa Claus is something
I'm not sure about.

And he killed the duck
     right there on purpose to get
the dog by the tree.

Central London must
     be the only clean city
centre in Britain.

Just wondering if
     you ended up installing
this in the Rabbit.

Smiling wide. [removed]
     Some say this wasn't his first
nor second sighting.

If you want complete
     solitude, the park may not
be the place for you.

Turning a whitebread
     ginger into a black guy
isn't interesting.

I used to own one.
     Technically still do, but it's
in the junk drawer now.

[deleted] You've got
     to take time into account,
both past and future.

I don't kid myself
     by thinking she misses me.
I know she doesn't.

He turned once again
     to exit the cave, only
to be met with, "Err..

I personally hope
     more candidates feel this way,
and other countries!

Yes It's even more
     enjoyable if you go
to a matinee.

More chocolate. This is
     all very interesting, thank
you for commenting!

Unplug the lamp (duh),
     cut the wires, and bring the piece
to a hardware store.

The creature that lives
     in your taint I'm sorry but
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Thanks Dexter Williams
     Damn. He's GOT to be there. Crap,
it's probably too late.

Had they made a stand
     and fought on the battlefield
there would be none left.

if someone doesn't
     respond to you, let it be
and leave them alone.

Old special system
     didn't punish us for seeing
"OP" special items.

I always wondered
     why God needs money to run
his institutions.

You have to either
     contribute something useful
or something funny.

It was a make up
     call for roughing the passer.
What are they selling?

Both work wonders on
     my creaky ass joints, so might
help your dog? Handbags.

Hopefully he can
     clear it up for you next week.
Sweet dude! The Notebook.

Oh, and always lie
     to your best friends and get new
ones every three months.

Nick Martin gets by
     on his brother's name alone.
He's poop Too late kid.

Please. I've been watching
     since before it went mainstream.
You are not listening.

Why not just tell them
     fine, he's real, and go along
with the pretending?

Because it's a good
     and cheap way to get really
nice natural lighting.

Wonderful work. Ah...
     I see... Never went that far
without helping her.

I see... Never went
     that far without helping her.
That is AWESOME man!

But as it gets worse
     from playing a lot, it starts
off as a numbing.

I have to pee but
     I don't want to move. I am
not sure what to do.

What I do I care
     what people think about x,
y, and z really?

I'm thinking about
     changing careers one last time.
Maybe maybe not.

The two major things
     that come to mind both involve
one of my best friends.

Let me hit that Quan,
     I mean Robin hope it was
not too confusing!

I don't really watch
     Archer lol What point
are you trying to make?

Football casuals,
     not like casual cool people
just hanging around.

I've had two during
     my trip to Rome, I have mixed
feelings about it.

The good one with Kurt
     Russell. Planning on going
to church tomorrow.

Any unusual
     sound would keep me up all night.
So that is a no.

You know, that's a good
     question that I'm not sure I'm
prepared to answer.

Because walls are cool
     damn, we need to find out No
wonder they're extinct.

If it's split damage,
     then the only gems worthwhile
would be nourishing.

Which if there is no
     actual rule against it, would
be a fair tactic.

Instead of tearing
     the world apart, ISIS brought
the world together.

You are ignoring
     your own emotional needs
for love and respect.

I'm right there with you.
     We're boring, predictable,
and mediocre.

That should allow you
     some more flexibility.
Pain in the ass though.

[deleted] This looks
     like an Amazing score board!
Why was it removed?

She has no respect
     for you because you have no
respect for yourself.

At current rates, there will
     come a point when it simply
isn't feasible.

Do you have any
     close friends you can confide in?
A trusted adult?

Evidence and facts
     are too PC This is what
I came here to say.

I changed it now, will
     take it apart when its dried
and see if its burnt.

That was a bitch move
     lol It means dirty
dreads or messy hair.

Get off your fucking
     phone when going 80mph.
I'm in Kentucky.

[removed] [deleted]
     He has intentionally
been a jerk all night.

I see there's also
     going to be a journal
that's goes with her books?

I wasn't always
     like this and my brother didn't
help with anything.

I always feel like
     these threads get really awkward
when the links go out...

Is it one of those
     deals where they go to some dudes
in a studio?

Should run things pretty
     smoothly at high to Ultra
settings for a while.

Although I was young,
     I felt an obligation
to try to help her.

I am totally
     lucky that bread and pasta
don't wreck my levels.

It's a bunch of space
     dust, tiny rocks (yes), and much,
much bigger rocks too.

I have a new car
     phone, but none of my friends are
home when I'm driving.

They count as tickets
     sold, but in no way reflect
actual attendance.

That was super close.
     Lol the Spurs homer
broadcast cracks me up.

May I ask why you
     don't like anything he stands
for or him at all?

Small world. This pretty
     much proves that David Lisak
is a complete fraud.

The only issue
     is public opinion, not
technical issues.

Without cook, we were
     going to be limited
in the passing game.

Sure. Let me just check
     what I have left, I should be
able to do that.

I'm going to tell
     this stat to everybody
when sports are brought up.

It's not toxic, it's
     not dangerous, it's just sea
salt made from seaweed.

Makes sense since this could
     be the day that everyone
witnesses history.

But Islam isn't
     just one system of belief
that is uniformed.

The voice seems content
     to spend the next little while
singing your praises.

Can someone explain?
     It just seemed like a normal
episode to me.

These turnovers are
     not going to help us, if
we cant score on them!

Also, there's nothing
     in the game that you can miss,
nothing gets cut off.

I doubt anything
     like that will ever happen
though, maybe one day.

The episode I've
     been waiting for, and it was
adapted SO WELL!!

It was nerve wracking.
     ........It's obviously a burnt
Toy Bonnie figure.

I'm waiting to see
     if Forte is playing, if not,
I'm starting Langford.

Text? Phone? We're on break
     right now, so I probably won't
see her for a while.

Claire is ecstatic
     and wants Jin to feel it, but
he's so embarrassed.

I like urban, but
     I can understand why most
gators dislike him.

They are extremely
     good and can output stupid
amounts of damage.

Exactly. What you
     describe is reserved for those
who pull the trigger.

Yup Cleaned up his dogs
     piss with my work uniform
and hung it back up.

I, under normal
     circumstances, cannot stand
having my feet touched.

Really?? That's funny.
     I was in the social work
field for a few years.

My mother in law
     is a horrible awful
person and She. Won't.

Don't worry about
     what part of your routine is
AB and what isn't!

I have a cluster
     in the 12th, and Saturn
is my chart ruler.

why do you ask that?
     any clue what it could be?
Release the Starters!

Why would anyone
     want to be a ref for these
kids leagues anymore?

I know it isn't,
     but I don't feel like I gave
birth to him at all.

They count as tickets
     sold, but in no way reflect
actual attendance.

shirt and flak jacket...
     I hope this is true. I fear
that it might not be.

Other than that, good
     job, and thanks for using up
your spare time for us!

Some will blacklist you,
     but honestly, it's pretty
hard for everyone.

Fuck.... he makes Greased Up
     Deaf Guy look easy to catch.
Yes! The meth kingpin!

Sometimes you tap on
     join but then the app doesn't
let you join the room.

Got me into rap
     at a time when I listened
to nothing but Rock.

Why does he not sprawl
     out when grabbing his neck am
I missing something?

Your skills will improve,
     though some armies are harder
to paint than others.

Thank you very much.
     He's imitating former
Spartan Drew Stanton!

You just gotta haul
     ass and weave through lol
Taco Saturday???????

we'd love to see more
     live coding, but not so fast
speedy gonzalez.

Great tip. I didn't know
     that existed though I should
have figure it did.

For a decent one
     that doesn't have a spoiler
in the title, yeah.

Our defense has looked
     good, but our offense has been
pretty damn awful.

It always end up
     my scroll gesture to a pull
to refresh gesture.

It's been the same since
     the Portable and I don't
see why it would change.

Holy shit. Go make
     your move Diggs and Stevie GET
THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE!

technically yes, but
     any sales person will try
to sell you something.

Because its Tony
     "why the fuck is my last name
so stupid?" Brothers.

Very weird design
     choice, but how else do you make
sense of it really?

Not to sound cliche,
     but have you considered or
gone to therapy?

(This is to be read
     in a Wes Anderson like
voice over tone) Wow.

You can't force current through
     one path when another has
far less resistance.

The episode John
     Doe was terrific TV
by any standards.

And I really hate
     waking up in the morning
with them on my head.

It contains the full
     template, in case someone wants
to help finish it.

It's about getting
     votes and pleasing the people
that give you money.

My heart was pounding
     out of my chest when I saw
this in theaters.

This comparison
     is critical in giving
meaningful errors.

They have form. why am
     i everywhere That's actually
really interesting!

I have one and it's
     something you just have to live
with on that camera.

[deleted] Left out
     "post game thread" so the filters
wouldn't pick it up.

To be fair, any
     company would milk something
that gives them profit.

Try that. Notice how
     sometimes you almost can't tell
when time is reversed?

The majority
     just want the easiest deal.
Can we blame them? No.

Head trauma is not
     something that has been confirmed
to cause Parkinson's.

He wasn't being
     removed, he was just getting
beaten by a mob.

this is amazing!
     i loved that show! its the best!
They're magnificent!

Fuck. It hurts my eyes
     and I can't look away now
that I've noticed it.

What a poor response.
     There are no tobacco laws
how foolish of me.

One solid lesson
     to learn is how to baby
your soldering tips.

I still disagree
     in that isn't what the current
intro is saying.

Hopefully this would
     classify as a ninja
fix (but I doubt it).

I was there last week
     for work and finally got
the chance to go up.

So worth it The First
     Noel. Absolutely no
idea why though.

Honestly I was
     scared as shit to face you guys
after I saw that.

It always lights up
     red because it is mostly
old people voting.

Would help explain why
     Calgary got selected
before Vancouver.

Is there a reason
     why I am not seeing Ike
on the new banner?

I should clarify,
     I mean good parents as well
not just good Muslims.

Buford tries to kill
     Doc at a town festival,
but Marty saves him.