Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 463 of 1746

Haiku #49169

This is the second
     time I read about expired
food stores in this thread.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49170

This guy whose PC
     barely keeps with minimal
system requirements?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49171

Juicy and flawless,
     with a slight scratch on it from
impact with the ground.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49172

Still own that guitar.
     If this were true, support would
always be first pick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49173

It was just the first
     thing that popped into my head
when I saw the prompt.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49174

Yeah, first time the US
     Embassy officially
walked in the Parade.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49175

Ah shucks! That's just too
     bad "*extremely attractive
female*", lol.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49176

Who the hell says "if
     you're lucky" and thinks they can
get away with it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49177

So First Nations myths
     have it wrong because they don't
make literal sense?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49178

Just look at pandas,
     they couldn't care less for sex,
and they're all dying.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49179

Being a pillion
     rider was more difficult
than it looked to me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49180

If not the first time,
     after a few times your dog
will probably follow.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49181

Thanks. Although, if you
     see above comments you'll see,
It is no longer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49182

If you are going
     for a totally different
reason then my bad.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49183

If I pulled them out
     too fast, the tip would break off
leaving a small barb.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49184

and then once he is
     laying on the ground suffering,
you pepper spray it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49185

See a dissected
     cadaver without going
to med school? I'm in.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49186

She probably had NO
     IDEA what a massage
could really be like.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49187

It's a steep learning
     curve but the shaves you can get
are just amazing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49188

I like it. I hope
     you realize what you're actually
saying you stand for.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49189

I've been blatantly
     rejected by my husband
while on X before.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49190

Problem is, who do
     I pick for my strikers on
my fantasy team.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49191

Teaching high school? No..
     if it were teaching along
research then hell yah.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49192

I don't see his name...
     I see his fucking movies.
But you're probably right...

Score: 0          

Haiku #49193

Yep, was hoping not
     to do all that, damn there seems
no other way. Thanks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49194

Fuckers gonna fuck.
     Horny and grumpy is no
way to go through life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49195

And I know I can
     help him as he's going through
tough times now. Thanks man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49196

:D This must be from
     the "Bob visits Soviet
Russia" episode.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49197

Do you remember
     having therapy sessions
when you were younger?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49198

I often even
     hear that Lycan is better
in lane. damn, son. *damn.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49199

That's a flaw that was
     present in pretty much all
forms of rule so far.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49200

You do realize you
     can do that with pretty much
any movie, right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49201

As for your profile,
     it's OK but really needs
padding out a bit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49202

Smile for the camera,
     Arthur." Arthur: "*Zombie groan*"
He needs to smile more.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49203

Or at least are you
     in an environment where
there are girls around?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49204

To be completely
     honest, why is that we can
simply not have BOTH.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49205

When she did, she was
     crying because my Grandma
had just passed away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49206

I'm kind of neutral.
     Good job, landing without SAS
must be pretty tough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49207

So, we just went off
     on our own way to other
servers separately.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49208

I just now realized
     that you're talking *Jimmy John's*
and not *Papa John's*.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49209

[deleted] Had no
     idea who he was till
I read that passage.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49210

Take for example
     the risks that AI is posing
to human labor.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49211

that's already been
     stated by rocket and by
myself several times.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49212

It never occurred
     to me that chemistry has
such a big effect.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49213

However, my post
     says "first fight" which implies more
than one fight or kill.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49214

threads should be allowed.
     Otherwise, I think the rules
are pretty solid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49215

When you do things right,
     people won't be sure you've done
anything at all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49216

Singapore is safe,
     first world and all round great but
fun for a week max.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49217

I think it was his
     silver hair and theme music
that got me going.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49218

That teacher did well
     to teach things that may not be
in the book Steve Jobs?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49219

I guess I angered
     some of you white kids (which was
to be expected).

Score: 0          

Haiku #49220

Who am I kidding?
     I'm reading this thread looking
for tips! So are you!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49221

Plus the dispenser
     behind me so others on
the ground can use it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49222

better than lighter
     fluid that can be strong on
some hits! hemp all day!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49223

If I should ever
     step on it and die I would
just burst out laughing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49224

All couples must live
     within a few streets of each
other, naturally.

Score: 0          

Haiku #312651

EDIT: This lady
     probably has no idea
what spurious means.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49225

When done right, she will
     no longer turn around, but
just wiggle her foot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49226

Try to do it on
     your own though, these trips don't look
appealing at all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49297

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THESE
     STATISTICS!?!? And exactly
who did a study..?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49298

Nice choice of challenge.
     The fact that they disappeared
doesn't surprise me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49299

For me, I just can't
     stop seeing Beans from Even
Stevens with this girl.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49300

Maybe, but she is
     so squeaky clean that people
might get bored of her.

Score: 0          

Haiku #14918

If you backpedal,
     you'll get caught eventually
and booed the whole time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49301

Imagine Mr.
     Rogers, but without talent.
But David Liebe Hart.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49302

It's even better
     if the legs have the creases
ironed into them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49303

The last thing you want
     to do is make him angry
right before he leaves.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49304

The other players
     there are also less than shall
we say affable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49305

Especially when you
     have no idea at what
range that person is.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49306

I've found that classic
     rock stations are not very
common in Europe.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49307

I couldn't care less
     what Riot feels needs to be
changed and what doesn't.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49308

Maybe your SO needs
     to really hit rock bottom,
relationship wise.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49309

Amazing story.
     That's the point. I am doing
what I think is right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49310

Seriously, you
     were wrong on the Internet.
Big deal. Let it go.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49311

Very simple nose.
     Taste: Sweet spice, oily feel, yet
medium body.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49312

They call me maybe.
     Do you have Comcast? Mine would
do that sometimes too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #174374

I'm happy I was
     able to get a second
opinion so fast.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49313

I like the way you
     think and would like to subscribe
to your newsletter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49314

Bummer. Actually... Yes.
     There is a virus that is
linked to this profile.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49315

There is a virus
     that is linked to this profile.
Nihilists! Fuck me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49316

All the cupboards are
     busting and most of it is
rotten by this stage.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49317

And it was last year
     when we had one of the worst
droughts in state history.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49318

You'll be the only
     one to really notice how
other people look.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49319

Everything we do
     we can't know the future of,
and that is ok.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49320

good shit [deleted]
     Good tune, the talent and is
definitely there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49321

But I also like
     the look of all girls, if I'm
attracted to them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49322

*hugs* to you and yours
     Amnesia mod! [deleted]
Australia, again.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49323

This way the parents
     aren't even paying for their
own child's birthday meal.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49324

in the olden days
     both wipers were the same size
so you could swap them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49325

It sounds like a bad
     idea but trust me, she's
great in the jungle.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49326

I guess if people
     bother to read down to this,
they'll get it. Or not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49327

After that, you'll need
     another ticket to play
another mission.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49328

I think that's the point.
     He wasn't happy in New
Jersey and didn't care.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49329

Developers can
     make golden armor a rare
drop from epic chests.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49330

she needs to believe
     that she has not lost your trust.
don't want to see her?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49331

Thank you! [deleted]
     [deleted] [deleted] Why
does it have to be?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49332

But that doesn't mean
     the incident didn't happen.
I believe two things.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49333

THE KING OF THE NORTH!
     How do you even get picked
on in college... What?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49334

Jesus fucking Christ,
     I do wish we'd stop being
America's bitch.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49335

So, props to you. Still,
     I suggest taking a break
for a week or so.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49336

Another favorite
     from Gershwin (played by the man
himself): [Prelude No.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49337

I'd be fine with that,
     although I would hope I'd be
allowed to come too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49338

No evidence You
     don't think Georgia is any
different from the rest?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49339

Okay, you're only
     the 5th person to make
that joke in the thread.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49340

Slight homo great thanks
     [deleted] That Asian girls
have sideways pussies.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49341

I agree, I don't
     ever see US citizens
giving up their guns.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49342

Also my mom's friend
     filmed a documentary
about deaf children.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49343

I am especially
     worried, because I will be
moving out in May.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49344

I die everytime
     I see it. Fine, then I just
want to support Valve.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49345

I just like free stuff
     and there is a very low
risk of being caught.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49346

"Watchers" by Dean Koontz.
     First adult novel I read
when I was a kid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49347

They were all women
     with some form of autism
from what I recall.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49348

On a side note, there
     is *very* strong evidence
that the sun exists.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49349

I'm with him, I like
     the jabs at American
society's ills.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49350

*why did this guy change
     the subject to hot pockets?
that's* **weird**... I am torn.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49351

"People do stuff." No
     matter who's giving me shit,
it doesn't matter.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49352

Or maybe we can
     strike up a conversation
without sharing it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49353

So I was content
     with that, but later realized
our mother found it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49354

Now back to the Thorns.
     Using Thorns with this build is
pretty much a waste.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49355

The issue here is
     that Rand had nothing against
private charity.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49356

Some people have no
     concept of eating before
and after your shift.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49357

I can, but after
     4pm. No, Christians believe
their God to be male.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49358

When did it become
     "cool"? I could've been a cool
kid in high school? Shit...

Score: 0          

Haiku #49359

Some ships might, but from
     what people have told me, they're
all nearly the same.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49360

Yep. There's an drawing
     instructor called Loomis whose
books he should study.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49361

Is it possible?
     I'd love to get one of these,
awesome looking watch.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49362

He missed the perfect
     "Negative, I am a meat
popsicle" set up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49363

[deleted] Why would
     someone waste their time typing
something like that up?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49436

Much different from him
     wanting to allow rapists
to sue rape victims.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49437

Break a few windows
     and rip the cabinet doors off.
Piss on the carpet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49438

No. What is this game?
     Okay, you officially
need to get laid. Now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49439

No, sorry. I'm not
     superstitious, I just don't
want him on our side!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49440

Fukushima is
     actually a blessing by God.
Praise mutant Jesus!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49441

650w will be
     enough, with enough headroom
for future upgrades.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49442

Talk about Nightmare
     Fuel. Doesn't help that my dreams
tend to suck these days.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49443

It must have pissed off
     the guy in the van to be
passed at every light.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49444

So many just don't
     get a photo ID, or let
their old ones expire.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49445

I would say this is
     example of how to not
design book cover.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49446

[deleted] My point,
     though, is that not everyone
shares your assessment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49447

About as awesome
     as Emma Watson cooking
bacon while naked.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49448

DINK. Heck yes. Will add
     you now (I'm Rocky Raccoon)
First thing I thought of.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49449

Buy some cheap teal towels
     to use for mopping up spills
around the kitchen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49450

So I told the big
     kid, I think his name was Sam,
to leave him alone.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49451

alan is this you?
     if not i have a friend who
did exactly this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49452

You don't have to get
     used to it, but there are some
things that you can't change.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49453

If the parents come
     in and demand the phone they'll
receive it. Promise.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49454

I still want one though.
     I'm just coming home from work,
what are you doing?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49455

[deleted] Maybe
     you were better at finding
money than I was.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49456

He started freaking
     out customers so the boss
made me kick him out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49457

As I said we made
     that rule because play for fun.
We just play casual.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49458

We just play casual.
     If everyone made this deck
How fun would it be?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49459

I also kinda
     like to lay every honest
card on the table.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49460

Also, PLEASE don't get
     discouraged if you get turned
down now and again.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49461

Hi buddy, I took
     the time to watch our replay
and here are my thoughts.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49462

The storm that wipes out
     the pathetic little thing
you call your beliefs.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49463

You're fish food now, lad.
     ###IT'S OVER, FUCKING OVER.
THE KARMA STOPS HERE.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49464

There are wonderful
     things about the way my kids'
minds work, and mine too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49465

If you are getting
     owned every time you sidestep,
try something different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49466

Unless you live right
     in the national parks, there is
probably sport nearby.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49467

also play the game
     with the lights off and headphones
and say you aren't scared.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49468

Good luck! The "you pigs"
     is barely readable Thanks
for the follow up!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49469

Punching is very
     easy just get a saddle
valve at home depot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49470

There is no deadline.
     Too bad nothing could stop him
from doing Jack Frost.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49471

Yeah; I'm just speaking
     to the rare cases of schools
who won't give it back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49472

That's such an sexy
     ass, I just wanna bury
my face deep in there!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49473

Oh, she can be quite
     picky but is at the same
time quite forgiving.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49474

I did however
     break down and buy some Starbuck's
the other week. WAIT!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49475

Took ages, involved
     some terrible tasting stuff.
Upper lip still numb.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49476

Unless, of course, you're
     just a big gaping asshole.
Avid is over.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49477

As long as people
     have assault rifles there will
be more massacres.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49478

My parents lived through
     the depression too and were
dirt poor growing up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49479

Regardless of their
     age or your age, they deserve
more respect than that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49480

Just put your own stuff
     over it and you are good.
You sound like a dick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49481

You are new. Just keep
     training and think about what
you're doing. It'll come.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49482

The 3PM Blackout
     is designed to protect teams
who aren't in the Prem.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49483

I care about you.
     I had a cousin get drunk
on his 21st birthday.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49486

Which is based on Seth
     Green's experience with fame
at an early age.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49487

What about a rape
     victim in a culture where
rape never happens?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49488

Yet, I do believe
     the game is going to get
better from this point.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49489

Don't worry, you'll be
     fine you don't have any thoughts
that aren't authorized.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49490

Scientists wouldn't base
     their results entirely
on wishful thinking.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49491

It would break its neck
     if it is so flexible
as to look sideways.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49492

[deleted] Because
     not everyone wants to stack
rocks to build a house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49493

You call her a "friend",
     then say you're really good friends,
then call her a bitch.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49494

There is no deadline,
     this is the rest of your life.
One week is nothing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49495

You can still sign up
     with the official sign up
page on the sidebar!

Score: 0          

Haiku #49496

One is old, and his
     move to center that boosted
his team happened late.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49497

I actually ended
     up with my brothers duals
when he quit magic.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49498

Am I the only
     one here that enjoys justice
like this? And pizza?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49499

Well done!! Oxford is
     so amazing, you're going
to have the best time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49500

Is that something new?
     [deleted] Don't worry, I'll
inform you myself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49501

You could say "But what
     if there reformed and don't rape
children anymore?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49502

What if they *promise*
     to not try to trade this one
for drugs?" I don't care.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49503

Yeah, why the fuck did
     somebody make me jello
with a mouse in it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49505

If y'all find GoT too
     morbid, y'all better stay way
away from Shakespeare.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49506

If you have seen God,
     even in your dream, your whole
life will be transformed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49578

Put doors on both ends.
     Attach to an adjacent
"loot" room via door.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49579

Wait, you just woke up
     and you just happened to be
holding a baby?

Score: 0          

Haiku #49580

In all the other
     Easter eggs I saw, he didn't
seem very involved.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49581

They were the 15th
     best offense in the league, or
completely average.

Score: 0          

Haiku #49582

If you have better
     things to do maybe you are
playing the wrong game?

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:28 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.