Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 452 of 1746

Haiku #44677

Let's do a simple
     mental exercise, to put
this in perspective.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44678

I actually managed
     to miss it this year despite
knowing about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44679

It's the wrong move man.
     I stop myself everytime.
You're better than that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44680

Funniest thing I've
     ever read, closely followed
by Spike Milligan.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44681

yeah i always rip
     that shit out of my lighters.
except the red part?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44682

Congratulations.
     It really is much better
without the damn things.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44683

This is the longest
     version of this video
i have ever seen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44684

How, exactly, does
     removing "I'll start" from threads
increase quality?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44685

Well I guess I stand
     corrected on my reply
to the other guy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44686

There is no seventh
     comment by me on that page.
I count six by me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44687

Now, obviously
     the follow up question is
going to be: *why*?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44688

I'm at the job I'm
     at now just because it puts
food on the table.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44689

Salute to you cart
     pushing brother, some of us
out there have your back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44690

People will buy it.
     Did I miss something? Yeah, that's
not at all creepy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44691

I can't tell if they're
     playing or not and it scares
the shit outta me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44692

An orgasm is
     natural, and exactly why
we are made that way.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44693

*Falling asleep now,
     but this post is probably long
enough anyway.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44694

[deleted] not sure
     what you mean, but i'm playing
both through steam right now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44695

Good taste! I'll see what
     movies I can think of off
the top of my head.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44696

So, if everyone
     was armed this would not happen?
Yeah, I don't think so.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44697

And why she didn't want
     to be picked up earlier
is a mystery.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44698

Now, each time you talk
     to her, touch her gently, like
on her knee or arm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44699

Both tires are on
     asphalt but everyone's side
stands are on concrete.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44700

It definitely
     uses way more water than
the dishwasher, though.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44701

Yeah it doesn't look
     like it would take to long once
you've done it few times.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44702

Yeah, I kept looking
     at her but couldn't figure
out what was different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44703

I can't remember.
     Personally I gotta go
with the funny ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44704

Oh hell yeah, I'm on
     the west coast but will travel,
have to look it up!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44705

I don't know how one
     keeps a cat off of someone
else's property.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44706

How come, if you guys
     need receivers so badly?
What did I do wrong?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44707

Funny, I'll only
     use an instant replay if
I have the option.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44708

also why are you
     in korea [deleted] Ask.
If she says yes: Yay!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44709

Is. Annoying. Like.
     Reading. A. Sentence. Spoken.
By. The. Handicapped.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44710

Reading. A. Sentence.
     Spoken. By. The. Handicapped.
Black. Kid. In. Malcolm.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44711

A. Sentence. Spoken.
     By. The. Handicapped. Black. Kid.
In. Malcolm. In. The.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44712

Just quit smoking man
     and stop lying to yourself.
You are not different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44713

See what happens when
     the role you're famous for is
on a show for geeks?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44715

How awful for you.
     You sound smart and like you've got
your act together.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44716

Yes. We certainly
     do i don't suppose boredom
is a good reason?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44717

A ghost must have walked
     out of the kitchen, shit NOW
I NEED MY MOMMY!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44718

We have to be held
     responsible for the things
that we do and say.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44719

[deleted] Yes, im
     sorry guys, it is nothing.
Diary however...

Score: 0          

Haiku #44720

Thanks bro, this is great
     to hear! Nope. Salt lake city.
Skates there all the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44721

I don't think that would
     be very comfortable...
Yum, I love pizza.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44722

Learn me in the ways!
     That's awesome She already
made that mistake once.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44723

And the service just
     about everywhere I've been
here is much worse. Ha.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44724

I like getting more
     than one story in a book,
like the good old days.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44725

To creep her out I'm
     going to get the pony...
pretend to hide it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44726

much easier than
     magnets let me assure you.
Kinda cool, I guess.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44727

So some tweaking might
     be needed for it to run
on newer systems.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44728

I give it a week.
     Sorry to crush your dreams. [But
we've got a problem.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44798

Just hit way to close
     to issues I was having
when I first saw it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44799

It's not that i don't
     believe you, but I'd rather
read it for myself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44800

Find something you find
     worthwhile to pursue and do
that with a passion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44801

sensor and the smoke.
     Pretty effective if you
have a good gunner.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44802

Completed Final
     Fantasy set? You're missing
all the Game Boy ones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44803

Some dude at my bar
     today bet a bunch of girls
that Sting sang this song....

Score: 0          

Haiku #44804

that's the only thing
     I can think of when it comes
to oversized snakes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44805

Positive comment
     tends to be more effective
than criticism.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44806

I think you're adding
     too much stuff, like a turkey
meatloaf or something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44807

The macro system
     is also useful if you
have a need for it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44808

Lots of people need
     choreography lessons,
that's what this taught me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44809

Don't do it for scout
     much but I'm all rounded thanks
to being that guy.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44810

I could elaborate
     more but I'm high and this will
probably get buried.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44811

I can pay cash but
     would prefer a small payment,
what does frugal think?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44812

You would have to be
     very picky about who
you gave keys out to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44813

My people have faced
     historical racism,
and continue to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44814

The question wasn't
     about a family member
or someone I know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44815

Now I would never
     say that what happened with me
WILL happen to you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44816

Plus, you are fucking
     up the flow- like a boulder
in a fucking creek.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44817

Hope the kid isn't
     screwed for life as a result.
I do the same thing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44818

Beyond that, I'd say
     go for the thickest, widest
cymbals you can find.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44819

poor guy, I'm sorry
     he (and your others) have been
struggling with disease.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44820

Is it any good?
     Is it made of real leather?
I doubt you would be.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44821

So many things are
     unregulated there or
simply not enforced.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44822

She knew what she was
     doing and it does not look
like she regrets it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44823

I love the jonas
     brothers and i really don't
care what people think.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44824

If you honestly
     can't remember which is which,
simply don't use "You're".

Score: 0          

Haiku #44825

This is fantastic.
     And who is cutting onions
at this time of night?!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44826

Cheap goods benefit
     those with lower incomes more
than anyone else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44827

I assume you could
     put a hand towel (or wash cloth)
in a shower cap.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44828

The issue at hand
     is who you are voting for,
and what they stand for.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44829

They're like the Great White
     Buffalo to me... *whispers*...
*Great White Buffalo*...

Score: 0          

Haiku #44830

I'm getting Sex &
     Fury right now, and I'll let
you know what I think.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44831

I thought the German
     practice was a bit odd, but
this makes so. much. sense.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44832

The Wall is yours, Jon
     Snow." TIL my grandpa called me
lazy all the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44834

sexy [deleted]
     I was sitting on a rock
beside a small pond.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44835

Nothing truly dies.
     He blinked at me and tilted
his head to one side.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44836

Thank You. First of all
     you shouldn't let your boyfriend
change your style of life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44837

What is important
     is minimizing total
pedestrian deaths.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44838

The father doesn't
     like it and does the same thing.
SAME SCENARIO.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44839

you're putting your trust
     in something that you really
can't prove with science.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44840

Listen a few times,
     get the basic melody,
then search the lyrics.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44841

Also why are you
     advocating we kill their
entire family?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44842

Thousands of people
     die, that one person may or
may not keep living.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44843

But if you don't get
     there by 8pm, you're going
to have a bad time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44844

Oh, wait, you said "hot".
     Never mind. You can do down
in flames with him then.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44845

Do a search. You can
     also look through my comment
history my response.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44846

I'd do it. Fuck I'd
     let them tie me down and glue
my eyes open too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44848

Wouldn't be easy
     to implement, but who knows
what the future holds.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44849

I'm not down voting
     you for your opinion, quit
being so childish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44850

...Then again, maybe
     that's exactly the person
to figure it out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44851

I liked it alot.
     Bullet proof drive train like you
expect from honda.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44852

Thanks for the kind words.
     I've close a few times tonight
but I'm trying not too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44853

This actually makes me
     want to go play it again.
Tribe mentality.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44854

[deleted] thank you.
     and it's been a dream of mine
since I was little.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44855

No. Hell is a place
     where they don't give you enough
whipped cream on your pie.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44856

He later got picked
     up again, after having
mastered the AD role.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44858

Cheers. Everyone should
     sign up then if they want in...
winner has been picked!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44859

I'm right by Monmouth
     park maybe I'll do my own
one of these weekends.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44860

[deleted] I think
     that is a baby girl, but
I can't tell for sure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44861

You're not the only
     one (but I think you knew that).
Awesome collection.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44862

Yes you do know right!
     [deleted] Sorry for not
getting here sooner.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44863

I made a mistake
     and was trying to do the right
thing by fixing it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44864

daughter likes to reach
     into her diaper, grab some
poo, and play with it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44865

We aren't taught a lot
     in school and what we are taught
is propaganda.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44866

I'm glad I've never
     run into something as bad
as that song must be.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44867

But I feel that way
     already and I accept
no state assistance.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44868

There's nothing you can
     do for that but be honest
and considerate.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44869

_Oh my goodness._ You
     are happiest when your child
come into your life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44941

People can have faith
     in something without being
crazy extremists.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44942

Eventually fucks
     like you get laid out and you
wonder what happened.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44943

this is awesome When
     someone's subjective value
system says it is?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44944

If you still don't lose
     any weight, it's because you're
still eating too much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44945

[deleted] Classic
     Bathtub line Great idea
for a tribute. Props.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44946

Sounds vaguely like *Some
     Kind of Wonderful* except
for the hair colors.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44947

I'll try to find it...
     That's the most irritating
thing i've seen all year.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44949

don't blend them just yet,
     just put down the values you
want first, then refine.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44950

Might as well put them
     in your shed with the pitchforks
for a rainy day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44951

I was the opposite.
     Mine was a small glass shell on
top of a mountain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44952

Disney does not *need*
     to be original like
other channels do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44953

The fact that it is
     in cigarettes means nothing
about it's safety.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44954

What kind of software
     do you guys use, if any,
to help run the place?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44955

You're working on all
     the stuff you should be working
on given your goals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44956

However if you
     are alone surrounded by
strangers it is not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44957

I think her grandson
     would prefer his best friend not
bang Nana at all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44958

That was terrific.
     You sir are a gentlemen
and a scholar. Thanks!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44959

yeah a [9]er That's cool.
     I didn't want to go to bed
tonight, anyway.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44960

It's also a more
     clinical or distant word,
as others have said.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44961

Hah had the same thing
     happen to me last night too
in Newmarket, ON.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44962

Hopefully they learn
     from their mistakes and make less
more in the future.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44963

EDIT anyone
     know how to get these fucking
bullet points to work?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44964

If anyone can't
     make it to a game and wants
to sell, let me know!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44965

I'm starting to see
     why people get pickup trucks.
Thanks for the advice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44966

I need some sleep now,
     my dog is giving me the,
"Why are you still up?"

Score: 0          

Haiku #44967

Not every time. :P
     As long as you are writing
now, I am happy!

Score: 0          

Haiku #44968

How stale are these things?
     From the area I live
in, you'd feel the same.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44969

Anyway, one day
     I lost a bunch of my shirts,
so I said, "fuck it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44970

I would have said, "why
     are your parents always out?
They must not love you."

Score: 0          

Haiku #44971

I think the only
     way to establish this would
be statistically.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44972

Also, the moisture
     gets cooked out, so it looks like
you have fewer eggs.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44973

[deleted] That was
     nice of them, perhaps you should
[return the favor?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44974

You're right. Being Gay
     is a sin and she will go
straight to hell for this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44975

Think of all the air
     assets you can call in on
your average mission.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44976

DAE never get hit
     on ever, no matter what
the circumstances?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44977

though its a handy
     way of recognizing trash.
(most of suits are trash.)

Score: 0          

Haiku #44978

Totally fixed all
     my body acne problems
when nothing else would.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44979

Maybe she's been hurt
     before and doesn't know what
kind of guy you are.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44980

Forget just this thread.
     This is one of the saddest
things I've ever read.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44981

If you are wearing
     something that fits you right, then
you'll look and feel good.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44982

All the 'fashion' stuff
     on the official site is
fucking horrible.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44983

I basically asked
     if they'd watched the show and if
so, if they liked it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44984

I love that pussy.
     Looks tasty. Nice ass mind if
I tried some anal?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44985

[deleted] Doesn't
     come off as desperate, it comes
off as interested.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44986

Doesn't hurt so much
     when it's done, but no sleeping
on it for a while?

Score: 0          

Haiku #44987

Or you could join some
     kind of club when you get there.
Okay that makes sense.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44988

Marinate in fresh
     will also was taste better.
Also, no mustard.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44989

But I can tell you
     completely for sure there were
NO escorts with it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44990

High cost with no tip.
     Tips are used to both reward
*and punish* servers.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44991

So she makes a choice
     that surprises everyone,
including herself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44992

you are not doing
     this with a random stranger.
This is with your SO.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44993

That all said, I hate
     tea and sausage, so I guess
the rest is forfeit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44994

fuck spice fuck spice I'll
     take all your market gardeners,
add me via flair.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44995

he FOUND a pipe bomb
     and decided he just HAD
to light it? yeah, right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44996

It looks like a dog!
     Seriously, it's a mix.
Don't worry, they're great.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44997

His close gestapo
     are only hammers to put
everyone in place.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44998

Sorry if I just
     ruined your ability
to tell right from left.

Score: 0          

Haiku #44999

I would love to get
     to meet them sometime! YES YES!!
A thousand times YES!

Score: 0          

Haiku #45000

Works every time how
     do u think he will look when
his passive falls off?

Score: 0          

Haiku #45001

I'm ashamed to say
     I've eaten at that Wendy's.
...or a baseball bat...

Score: 0          

Haiku #45002

You'll need a good knife
     too because you'll need to chop
up and boil the bones.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45003

I'm sorry to be
     "that guy" but I'm afraid we're
gonna need some proof.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45004

The only one I've
     worked with is barracuda,
but I don't like it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45005

I was just coming
     back to this thread to supply
that information.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45006

I however see
     through her shit, and I always
call her out on it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45007

Wasn't this little
     bitch complaining that he was
hurt a while ago?

Score: 0          

Haiku #45008

I feel the same way.
     If they won't give me honest
answer to questions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45009

we need video!
     I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Score: 0          

Haiku #45083

Or if they never
     pass, to just stop being friends
with one another.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45084

Plop, bye knives. God lacks
     the ability to change
the course of physics?

Score: 0          

Haiku #45085

Oh, okay. I'll start
     studying that soon as well.
Thank you for the help!

Score: 0          

Haiku #45086

Whether climate change,
     evolution, or even
our damned elections.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45087

Enjoy! Park as far
     from the show as you can stand
to walk afterwards.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45088

I smoked much more when
     I still lived at home because
I could afford to.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45089

You can get by just
     fine without even using
the gold auction house.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45090

she ran off to find
     something on the Internet
and never returned.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45091

A lot of the times
     you'll find that those types of suits
aren't necessary.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45094

The first time I had
     sex with my new boyfriend, there
was blood everywhere.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45095

Your real concern is
     making sure no one ever
finds the hands and teeth!

Score: 0          

Haiku #45096

It made it really
     easy to see exactly
what she was doing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #45097

There's a way to make
     the grafting nearly seamless
these days, isn't there?

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:28 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.