Reddit Haikus

Didn't watch it. Didn't want
     to sit through a commercial
in the beginning.

it's just land. Closure?
     You never had anything
to get closure for.

If you ever played
     the Monkey Island games try
'Time Gentlemen, Please'.

Actually, for this girl,
     this is exactly what she's
looking for. Good call.

I hate babies too,
     but don't have such strong hatred
for kids or toddlers.

TELL ME ALL ABOUT
     WHAT IT DOES AND WHAT IT EATS
AND HOW IT POOPS CUTE!"

Neat! Alien Swarm
     Alien Swarm Alien
Swarm Alien Swarm...

Nah. Then all the sheet
     fetishists will have trouble
concentrating too.

And speaking of work,
     I want to start freelancing
as a designer.

And, you go on dates
     to see if you'll be a good
match in the long run.

Period. No, it's
     not scientific and yes,
it's arbitrary.

But: In the US you
     can choose not to live in these
awful neighborhoods.

I meet up with her
     again the next night, go back
to her place, bang her.

Target also sells
     Champion brand synthetic
which is pretty good.

[deleted] how can
     you not say who the fuck came
up with that logo?

My thoughts are with you.
     I very much understand
where you're coming from.

I do know for sure
     that she thinks through politics
more than she used to.

I just want to write
     songs and not get distracted
by another knob...

I'll see if I can
     condition them to do what
I want them to do.

[deleted] You think
     that we're doing any good
after all these years?

I still work for them.
     THe supervisors are good.
The boss is a tool.

Pigs are quite tasty.
     Human reportedly tastes
very much like pig.

Those frescoes I linked
     to in the monasteries
in Romania.

I've read that the risk
     for divorce is equal. Thoughts?
Same to you Robots.

If you want someone
     to be your *only other*
forever, good luck.

I enjoyed this just
     because it made me look up
plasma jet engines.

Drunk game. Wake up, no
     memory, witness what you
did in the game world.

By fighting against
     unjust clauses, consumers
can keep their power.

I'm sorry to hear
     but live life to the fullest
and try everything.

In reality
     though, I'd probably poop my pants
and cry half the time.

Some people have had
     problems with infrared stuff
on vista laptops.

Dude, I have so much
     fucking faith in China it's
not even funny.

If she has something
     important tomorrow, wait
until the next day.

We have a winner!
     What cognitive metric are
you referring to?

Had it been saying
     that Obama is keeping
with his timetables.

Did you make it, or
     customize it? Wow. Just wow.
I think I love you.

Things aren't that bad yet!
     Show us a pic of yourself,
and I'll let you know.

Point duly noted!
     Founding fathers are no doubt
spinning in their graves.

All I have on here
     are unshaven half mast ones
from when I was sick.

do well on the tests
     It's the eyebrows. The others
don't have eyebrows. Wow.

Turns out I was wrong.
     I don't care if you're gay or
not, ironically.

I feel I've been more
     distant from her since I stopped
being religious.

When they fill out tax,
     hospital and employment
forms, etc...

Fuck young poor people
     who have kids they cannot take
care of on purpose.

The skit is called "Slow
     JERK". Did he cum in your mouth?
How did you like that?

The easiest way
     to get over someone is
to find someone new.

and i thought learning
     dwarf fortress was rough Only
if I was married!

Find one or two things
     you haven't experienced
and make those happen.

I have to admit,
     this isn't a game I've been
excited about.

You will need to boil
     the water when you're ready
to brew the coffee.

Unfortunately,
     travel presses are just not
that useful. lettuce.

he is pretty much
     putting his dick in the door
and leading with that.

i hope i explained
     this well but let me know if
you need more advice!

[deleted] "wait u
     one i just put it in" What
does that even mean?

Try cutting out all
     stimulants in your system.
Do you wake up cold?

It sounds mean, but black
     and asian girls seem to show
their weight a *lot* more.

If he says something
     about it, repeat day one
schedule as needed.

Been kicked once and sat
     there wondering what I was
supposed to have done.

If an asshole wants
     to return something, you lose
out, end of story.

It's something I plan
     to experiment with if
my website takes off.

His parents drops 10,000+X$
     on an album and snazzy
music videos.

*Evil laugh* I know,
     but it should be really hard
for him to do so.

The global warming
     was supposed to happen since
the 70's. Where is it?

There were a million
     bad choices that my mom made
that led to her death.

As I said before,
     my goal is to understand
the results better.

Seems simple enough.
     Feel you were unjustly banned?
Open a ticket.

Interesting pattern.
     The lapses of time have been
shrinking and shrinking.

That would be cool if
     you could select which traits you
get from each partner.

Ooh I like that ones
     intellect, that ones body,
that ones temperament....

No, he was clearly
     trying to spell "disappointing".
Are you retarded?

Too many people
     feel they don't need to be right
as long as they're loud.

I was already
     aware of this, Just felt like
driving the point home.

You actually believe
     GOVERNMENTS are smart enough?
Not comfortable?

Let a woman drive
     ANYTHING with a trailer
attached to it, christ.

I don't think you'd need
     to shoot zombies that are far
away too often.

You're responsible
     for some of those animals
having to be killed.

I watched that whole thing
     while my parents shopped and no
one was the wiser.

Who cares? You still got
     assist gold and the money
still goes to the team.

dude if you would've
     lifted weights you would've been
beast mode. Ahh oh well.

Rise and fire. Pure! -Gus
     Johnson This is what I was
trying to get across.

As for a Russian
     accent in English, they don't
speak especially slow.

I pity you, you
     have no idea what is
important in life.

Kind of a douche move
     on their part when I couldn't
even pull over.

Those are little things
     you catch over time, but are
what set you apart.

I'll show myself out
     :D Club Penguin is a good
game for kids like him.

The Kings are the best
     hockey team left it appears
by a wide margin.

Did anyone read
     the reviews on Amazon?
Less than convincing.

if that happened we'd
     have to ban horror movies
and books and stuff too.

My mom was actually
     on the "Bozo the Clown" show
when she was little.

To abandon those
     robes is to abandon *who
you are*. And to... wait.

I find the average
     wow player online very
shallow and simple.

Nice! I'll check it out.
     It's pretty interesting but
can be frustrating.

Not that it really
     matters that much with a 30x
sneak attack bonus...

You can tell it's old
     because no one is covered
in accessories.

Well, if you want, you
     could obviously take part
in the discussion.

Obviously, but
     how are they statistically
on pro level games?

If I'm not going
     to learn anything from them,
that's a deal breaker.

Nothing you can't live
     without, but that money man,
that has to be good.

I believe the shell
     *was* the intended object.
I could be wrong though.

If you already
     know this, please don't assume I'm
trying to insult you.

Maybe she just has
     the magic *touch* same with OP
You wasted your wish.

Yay I thought! Those two
     uterine surgeries worked!
I'm to be a Mom!

Developers are
     figuring something out though,
stay with me on this.

Yes, I know you guys
     aren't giving a fuck about
people's opinions.

Then again, I *am*
     in the South What did he say?
It got deleted.

The first part says if
     we ever, yet the second
part is would have been.

The "number" that works
     for you from case to case is
going to vary.

I usually use
     male when talking about both
boys and men. Problem?

IT'S A TIME MACHINE!!
     STOP WITH THE LIES!!! [deleted]
Alright, let's do this.

He has great foresight
     and deep thoughts but he is still
young for a master.

Mind completely blown
     So, we shouldn't tell you what's
wrong with the comic?

God. Seriously?
     People are calling you fat?
What do they expect?

Good mantra. If you're
     going to reference something,
do it correctly.

These pun threads gets worse
     and worse as it approaches
to infinity.

Carle is and was
     only decent when he had
Pronger at his side.

I'd never really
     even thought about it, but
I see what you mean.

I have minimal
     interest in the typical
"dorm experience."

Is that why you aren't
     agreeing upon boundaries
with any of them?

I haven't done that.
     It should be worth noting. *But
you can be better!

Oh, and floss! I bite
     my nails alot, know some good
tricks on how to stop?

If they say that it's
     not a good time, you shouldn't
be upset at all.

However, number
     one advice is already
said by leo104: Read.

But I guess this is
     one more reason to manage
to have lucid dreams.

Is it possible
     to fill the entire house
with cheese doing this?

Not everyone has
     the same opportunities
as everyone else.

get a job sparkling
     wiggle that is great for LA!
im glad to hear it!

And so I did what
     every other Indian
kid does at this point.

I'm trying to figure
     out how to make jewelry from
the sea pottery.

I learned long ago
     that 'hacking' means different things
to different people.

Remember, even
     in failure there is success.
You are beautiful.

replace the inner
     with the footprint and presto!
Oh my god yes. This.

You reach the bottom
     rung of the ladder, but can't
fall off the ladder.

Downside is that you
     have to cast it, so its one
extra thing to do.

[deleted] You can
     turn the brightness up under
the options menu.

That's exactly what
     I was trying to accomplish.
Thanks again so much!

Do we have to use
     racial slurs or offensive
language all the time?

There is tremendous
     pressure on men to "not have"
eating disorders.

When I was about
     eight, my family was driving
home from Disney World.

People thought we were
     dressing up as terrorists.
I took the mask off.

I took the mask off.
     If you have to ask, you should
probably avoid it.

but then i thought "why
     the hell would i do that just
for internet points?

But after looking
     through the initial post one
more I noticed that.

Let the footprint take
     the brunt of the stick and rock
damage from the ground.

Please do not ask us
     to give feedback on something
you did not proofread.

I think they were both
     in Project Gotham Racing
at some point as well.

I thought it was fun
     when Vanuatu first aired,
and I still think that.

has just the right feel
     in my hand between thickness,
weight, etc.

What you're saying is
     true, but it's reality.
I'll take progress please.

STOP TALKING AND LOOK
     AT THAT FUCKING BASEBALL! FUCK!
I'M GONNA EXPLODE!

If you make it too
     complicated it loses
some of its value.

Haven't been to one
     since but if they fixed that then
I'll go to this one.

Same thing could be said
     about a game like Dragon
Age: Origins then.

[deleted] Richard
     Branson, one of the only
good capitalists.

Even scarier
     considering that they were
all just the same guy.

Theon let it go
     in the books because it was
obvious there too.

Some Joey Barton
     shenanigans will surely
be entertaining.

And yet the concept
     remains that the man should work
Steve: That's dumb, Mary.

Or perhaps Lyra
     would defend her at some point.
This... is what I've got.

I'd have way better
     answers for you if I had
more shit figured out.

True? If so how did
     you managed to capture New
Orleans so well? Thanks!

On a related
     note, that would absolutely
make me shit my pants...

Luminous is still
     learning, but still time better
spent than watching purge.

I began to eat
     just a bit more each day than
the previous day.

In all honesty,
     it's a brilliant way to drain
the economy.

Do we have to use
     racial slurs or offensive
language all the time?

To your edit please
     note I said all the changes.
Each and every one.

To be fair it's not
     their stupidity, it might
have just been a deal.

A smear that's likely
     as much truth as pandering
and exploitation.

Fuck her. I mean it.
     I'm a member of the Fucked
Up Mother Club, too.

People write up all
     this "CRAZIEST FLOP EVER"
stuff to get page views.

Make them think they've won
     and steal their delegates right
out from under them?

Whoever could get
     the better bag would pick up
some for the others.

Very nice. He is,
     after all, "nominated
for the best rolled L's".

Drag heavy stuff, lift
     heavy stuff, push pull and make
friends with heavy stuff.

When I was around
     that age, I usually played
the girl in play time.

He will learn it all
     himself, give him space and time
to discover it.

Strong enough that no
     force in this world or any
other could stop them.

He got some new friends
     to run around with, which seemed
to be a huge help.

You could, it'd just
     take forever and you might
die because of it.

But still, BEST SUPER
     HERO MOVIE EVER MADE!!!!!
Scream "Woo, Liberty".

I just watched the whole
     movie last night. Fantastic.
I use a grinder.

The Auburn fans would
     revolt, but I think it'd
be hilarious.

I have Blake's headphones!
     We're like brothers now! You think
he'd hang out with me?

Not everything old
     is better, you're just wearing
rose tinted glasses.

it's just his good side
     guys, I'm sure the rest of his
face is all fucked up.

I plan on using
     the bowl end for something else,
as it is MASSIVE.

If there's enough cash
     for two cards, two winners will
be drawn and so forth.

So a food product,
     essentially If we don't
feed it, will it die?

Segmentation fault.
     What? You say that Whitney is
on the air right now?

Later on that day
     I was explained exactly
what the foreman meant.

What happens when you
     want to play one and she wants
to play the other?

Why wouldn't the priest
     just use his finger and not
his dog to cross him?

he's now tagged as Wil
     fucking Wheaton- Thank you. Guise!
It's THAT thread again!

Those are peripheral.
     Our penis is key. That is
what we use for sex.

Pretty soon you'll look
     at what you've built and go "Hot
shit, this is *awesome.

In the end, right or
     wrong, mothers are always Mom.
You are so pretty!

So college students
     can move in with their girlfriends?
Awesome idea.

Or use the golden
     ratio when dividing
out the column widths.

This is, in my mind,
     an open topic and should
be resolved as such.

Why can't you put on
     some music like everyone
else and ignore them?

[deleted] Those were
     what I was talking about!!
Aren't they amazing?