Reddit Haikus

That's blackmail. Dirty,
     disgusting, lowly blackmail.
Very effective!

And no, they were not
     grown men with intent to kill
or maim the prophet.

Sounds like you might just
     need to be more proactive
about frequent walks.

Even if you didn't
     mean it that way, they may well
assume that you did.

All of those things need
     to be stopped and then we might
salvage this country.

Scare yourself into
     sobriety because you
really should be scared.

I should be able
     to go to what ever bar
I like, and I do.

Just look for any
     product designed to remove
hard water build up.

I think the problem
     was him. He is just an ass.
What you did was right.

A marriage spawned from
     that is going to end one
way or another.

Hopefully she will
     incriminate both of them
if she's that stupid.

So while difficult
     at first communication
would be possible.

The environment
     should come before anything,
in my opinion.

I'm at work so I'm
     not sure if this was posted
before or after.

Putting it off till
     tomorrow is the oldest
mind trick in the book.

I was as you were.
     I smoked weed and cigarettes
and drank everyday.

Even better, if
     i have a kid i can get
even MORE welfare!

Talk to these guys too-
     anything to get a foot
in the door will help.

Anyone else thinks
     he kind of looks like Cotton
from King of the Hill?

I felt bad for him,
     but he was kind of letting
himself be picked on.

Or does this also
     cover the shotgun wedding?
You're a gentleman.

But I think I'm right
     to say his role was mostly
constant as score first.

What's unfair about
     saying that people who write
such comments are jerks?

[deleted] Well that's
     nice, I would kindly accept.
I agree with you.

If you know its strengths
     and understand its limits,
it will reward you.

I can't agree more.
     I have never seen a more
athletic lineman.

I'm looking around
     for the best price on a cat
(not aftermarket).

Safe, does it really
     work, considerations on
potential danger?

Ask her if it is
     close minded not to believe
in the tooth fairy.

When I went into
     to get my tonsils removed
I asked about it.

Wow. My jaw dropped when
     I watched this. Mind was even
blown to smithereens.

Is anybody
     noticing that this comic
has it backwards, though?

He probably doesn't
     care if you believe, you are
there to fill a role.

The fact that he was
     lying doesn't even need
to come into play.

Well you could just send
     each theater a few films
with different colors.

However, sometimes
     normal people simply miss
the turn or get lost.

I'm senior right now.
     Lots of memorable stuff
from middle school though.

In either case, there
     comes a point when you know it's
just dad in a suit.

Freedom means you're free
     to succeed, and free to fail
by your own choosing.

Done. Back to petting,
     no more biting, cat still wants
to lay on my lap.

lol, funny,
     but mormons cant drink Then you
wouldn't be homeless.

Do you like that guy?
     Yep. Installing the demo
gives you the full game.

I'd still recommend
     getting a barbell, but it's
better than nothing.

That was pretty great.
     THANK you. I knew someone here
had to have done it.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

The down arrow is
     for comments that add nothing
to the discussion.

I started crying,
     wiping it off, but we all
really had to leave.

It's called: **The Gay Stare**
     apparently you just stare
and hope for the best.

Broken down to its
     most basic elements what
does life really need?

It's the same but more
     vegetation and colder.
ok kid, you win.

(Hilarious on
     many levels since this was
in Mississippi).

I first heard about
     the revival of Norton
& Sons a while back.

The real problem is
     that there isn't any proof
that a god exists.

Ugly. Archibald.
     You mean like those newsletters
(that he never wrote)?

Either way, bad news.
     ...have you posted this before?
It sounds familiar.

Best way to keep them
     at bay is to always be
completely honest.

He died instantly.
     And that's how I found out there
was no Santa Claus.

Turns out, the doors were
     locked, so we had to double
back to the lunchroom.

She pushes past me
     and dials the number and goes
back into the hall.

But no taxes! Thanks,
     you're the first person who has
commented on it.

Great, that's exactly
     what I was hoping to hear!
I think I'll do it!

I've read about these
     things before, so I know what
you're talking about.

And, let's not forget
     how well Matt Ryan's rookie
season went, either.

The Capra Demon
     was by *far* the hardest boss
in the game for me.

Without supporting
     Israel, America is
left with two choices.

[deleted] That may
     be the best Dilbert comic
I have ever seen.

For a lot of these
     guys, the music couldn't be
any other way.

I apologize
     if this is to obscene or
weird it just seemed right.

[deleted] If you
     went to the wake you'd have seen
the same exact thing.

Just shut it, man, you
     didn't make sense before and you
still don't make sense now.

False. Make it wider,
     put a mattress on it. Best.
Sex. Ever. What's first?

There are no weird or
     bad flavors, so I'm thinking
I did that part right.

I'm honored. Hey, if
     you get a chance, can you give
Kim my phone number?

Clippers better make
     this move even if it means
giving up Gordon!

He is a missile
     if the ambulance wrecks or
has to brake too fast.

Why do I care how
     enthusiastic you are
to date trans women?

For a few bucks, it's
     worth the piece of mind for me
and my wife. I know.

If government was
     left out of it, it would drive
prices down for sure.

my bad, I hated
     when people didn't mark before
I finished the book.

Still, better do some
     research first to be sure you
know what you're doing.

He looked similar
     enough so i thought why not
put it out there. Sure.

And I remember
     you almost got arrested
for those business cards.

So, it's completely
     fair to say it all started
prior to the games.

I actually really
     like this year, so next year will
probably be hellish...

If that's not putting
     your money where your mouth is
I don't know what is.

Could also be due
     to whichever (if any)
birth control she's on.

[deleted] When did,
     in your opinion, things get
so terribly bad?

Because they loved us
     so much they'd want us to be
happy, I know that.

Neither was I but
     I'm certainly glad someone
notices my eyes.

If a religious
     person tells me they have faith:
I have no response.

Come on up to CT
     for an adventure, Hartford
is fun to explore!

I think overall,
     such a culture would leave us
richer, not poorer.

And of course runners
     will continue to improve.
Don't think we've peaked yet.

I don't think he wrote
     any music of his own.
He loved Mozart, though.

You are still awesome.
     Please, for the love of science,
please let this be real.

Paul is the better
     player, but he needs the ball,
just like Kobe does.

Then prepare yourself
     for the onslaught of money
and puke that will come.

I would love to see
     both the flashlight idea
and a video.

You have a burden
     now, and forever, but when
she passed, she had you.

The mandolin just
     helps you get the apples both
thin and uniform.

They had a good time
     and felt like they were doing
something important.

Or, "That statement is
     antithetical to our
business policies.".

I actually hadn't
     seen that, but I guess it just
came out yesterday.

Can someone explain
     this whole 'world peace' thing to me?
Guys have no excuse.

Liberals are the ones
     pushing an impossible
utopian dream.

It was his sister,
     not his wife in the painting.
Welcome to incest.

Have the masons had
     influence over large scale
events in the world?

Student: Mr. A,
     can I go to the bathroom
for like half an hour?

Like others have said,
     exact match domains are not
that great for SEO.

we've all been there Dark
     Souls is the best of the names
listed anyway.

Every mother gives
     birth to a child of the same
species as herself.

It's pretty much just
     smoke a cigarette or don't
smoke a cigarette.

I'll be thankful when
     this dies off like it's died off
every time before.

I'm plenty grown up.
     What about New Orleans is
third world? The history?

The feelings, yes, are
     quite standard, and are indeed
felt by everyone.

Tanking companions
     can no longer fill that slot
in a group, at all.

Our offensive is
     amazing, it's our defense
that is killing us.

Ok, so your amp
     has no output other than
the speaker itself.

Watch the show last night
     and it was hilarious.
Especially this part.

Especially this part.
     I was laughing so damn hard
the entire time.

congress Is today
     June 14th? Because it looks
like Flag Day out there.

The dirty label
     is a little confusing
when it comes to skulls.

Makes me feel lucky
     to have not hurt myself while
working on my car.

This is the same way
     that the wand had traded hands
since its creation.

I wish I could read
     street signs and road names from miles
away like you. YES!

Are you that surprised
     that taste varies among these
millions of people?

for science So, you
     don't ever where clothing made
from different fabrics?

And actually I would
     listen to a nurse, but there
aren't any running.

Just trying, as someone
     who's been there, to make sure you
don't go down that path.

You have to watch Blaine
     all the time, Blaine is a pain,
and that is the truth.

If your instinct is
     telling you something is wrong,
chances are, there is.

Probably from inside
     the rail cart, but still, you just
looked *right fucking there*.

ur over there all
     hot and im just sitting here
with my bong. now what?!

In context though, their
     cops are much nicer people
than America's.

The only thing you
     can control, is how you will
act in the moment.

[deleted] Did you
     continue to the bathroom
for a holy shit?

But please don't believe
     everything you hear without
actual evidence.

Those events happened
     two months ago and are no
longer relevant.

This. You should always
     vote for the one who you think
deserves it the most.

The only smart phone
     that is exempt from this charge
is the Replenish.

DO NOT FUCKING DO
     THIS. TAKE THE OFFER FOR VOICE
LESSONS. ok guys.

Don't let him explain
     lie, explain himself, or try
to justify it.

I'm guessing about
     $10K by what you've said so far.
Came here to say this.

I posted this when
     there was a ton of Asian
photos appearing.

Is there a history
     behind their relationship
you can talk about?

One of my favorites,
     she's so cute in it Signs, signs,
everywhere a sign.

I've tried. I never
     heard such interesting insults,
but then there it is.

Right, but how do you
     get started without shoveling
snow into the house?

a short one yes, but
     I'm not sure where to. Actually,
yes, some people do.

It wouldn't have been
     any great loss to the world
if they had killed you.

Shockingly, when you
     break the law, you are likely
to be arrested.

That's what it sounds like
     when my Mom and brother set
up the Christmas tree.

Well, okay, done. So,
     what are we talking about?
Oh. Even better.

My parents actually
     had this approach when it came
to my reading list.

I'm grateful to those
     who's day to day is about
saving these primates.

As in drawing on
     tracing paper, than tracing
the sketch on the pad?

I wonder what her
     ethnicity is, aside
from the French last name.

I'd be completely
     ok with the new TV
show starring Fillion.

But of course, every
     country has the same problems.
Europe ain't special.

Anybody know
     if this will be released on
dvd later?

In other words, do
     not use even a single
one of your brain cells.

I know we haven't
     see much but the uncharted
series was awesome.

[deleted] That's not
     vocal fry The face is good,
everything else sucks.

It took me so long
     to figure out the actual
solution to those.

The kid put the flame
     into the bubbles and his
hands burst into flames.

[deleted] But it's
     so easy to get karma
with meaningless posts!

Why do people get
     so bent out of shape about
karma, anyway?

Why do you say this?
     He was one of the greatest
warriors of history.

Depends on what games
     you'd be casting and just how
amateur you are.

I got a virus
     report from McAfee when
I viewed this photo.

I suggest couple's
     counseling so you guys can get
back on the same page.

If everyone yells
     about their little issue,
there will just be noise.

Also, just to say
     the slide effect for the left
bar looks pretty cool.

Just the price? Some one
     is mad at the Internet.
Fucking awesome throw.

Get it together,
     CBS! The first Scary
Movie with my mom.

Ah, charcoal *flavored*.
     Yea, in texas we don't get
grocery store liquor.

I checked the whole thing
     from top to bottom, it was
nowhere to be found.

From scratch, nonetheless!
     It's like an A-1 Steak Sauce Clan.
people like you suck.

That video ruled.
     Is this real? I can't any
video of it.

I suppose I do
     spell words differently, some would
say more correctly.

Lopez or Bynum
     would be a good starting off
point for any team.

I make more money
     from the tips than Dominos
pays me. Mmmm, Who's the blonde?

What's sad is that some
     people won't even realize
that you're joking. Nope.

I tend to relate
     more to how the women feel
in lesbian porn.

That's funny, I was
     about the say the exact
same thing about you.

You need to make sure
     the bird basically doesn't
even see your dad.

I've done a little
     bit exploring locally,
but nothing like this.

As for all the rest,
     that comes down to the difference
between choice and fact.

omg I love
     that your school uses vintage
cameras for their shots.

Oh skittles must not
     exist either since Jesus
didn't exist... Good point!

Cause there's a difference.
     Also what's her phone number
if the former True.

Why did I love her?
     She was plain. She understood.
She listened. She talked.

She's been jerking you
     along for as long as you
have been together.

how many people
     know any bill being worked
through their state congress?

How can they ever
     make enough to pay it back
as well as living?

For most people, their
     sex and gender are the same.
But for some, it's not.

Stand and kneel with them,
     but during that time just do
some meditation.

It was a very
     real concern of the Prophet.
What dispensary?

The pope quite surely
     does NOT believe the world will
end in his lifetime.

Saying one word too
     much is worse than missing one.
what did i do wrong?

[deleted] This is
     the belief of most Catholics,
so yes AND WE'RE BACK!!!