Reddit Haikus

My baby's eight months.
     He's almost walking and has
reached every milestone.

Are you sure you aren't
     just misinterpreting male
attempts at friendship?

Don't listen to him.
     I've never heard of this site...
What is it about?

But really, playing
     as all those old, old heroes
is a lot of fun.

That's the worst of it,
     Brian. You're just a big, sad,
alcoholic bore.

I had to actually
     create an account to say
this is amazing.

He isn't in school,
     so he'll be all alone when
I'm gone, lol.

His movement without
     the ball and positioning
is exceptional.

However, most girls
     are more than happy to let
their dates take the lead.

Whenever I talk
     about someone I only
reference the good things.

Thanks for the kind words!
     I mean, you didn't get laid, but
you found a career.

Well then, you leave me
     no choice than to subject you
to MY BODY!" Thanks.

all the characters
     in VI are so amazing
and fun to use though!

I used to, until
     I was confronted for not
believing in god.

Interesting that you
     say you have a girlfriend but
you still masturbate.

it's just another
     way to blame the government
for people's problems.

The feds already
     have all that sort of info
though so whatever.

That's saving you ONE
     keystroke for every time you
want to write and quit.

I find it much more
     painful to squeeze them out by
external pressure.

When you say that you're
     too old to change you're not just
beating yourself up.

They have a couple
     good things going for them but
also some bad things.

I would never use
     duct tape in a million years
but perhaps your right.

**EDIT:** gotta go
     somewhere right now, will be back
in a couple hours.

"No. You're an asshole."
     Yup Does he remind any
one of Al Wilson.

[deleted] I will
     live to see this get posted
for the 1000th time.

3D movies. They suck.
     If you're paying for it, it'll
be bottled water.

I hope your girlfriend
     cuts you off permanently
Could it be Queen Bee?

but if you're somewhere
     with hard water, you'll never
get a good lather.

If you read any
     guide for any fighting game,
they say the same thing.

I could see some Hugh
     Jackman and Gerard Butler
in him at times too.

Business is business.
     It cannot be treated nor
taken personally.

[deleted] I wish
     I had some sort of medal
to give you for this.

I feel like many
     people are assuming too
much about my wife...

Shoot me a PM
     and we can talk things out. Yay!
I added ya back!

I'm glad it's worth it.
     The Tales series has never
really let me down.

WORLDS LARGEST BOLT ON
     THIS PART OF THE RAIL There is
porn of everything.

Confirmed. Also, it's
     hilarious, why the hell
haven't you seen it?

No I can't just throw
     everything for a souffle
together at once.

I just have a great
     big list to get through before
I get to *more* fuzz.

As the lake increased
     in size, the ice dam weakened.
Then one day it broke.

That's all. Other than
     that, I literally eat there
maybe once a month.

Just know that it is
     temporary and it will
get back to normal.

I love skateboarding
     even though I had to stop
for a year or two.

I LOVE it You took
     the time to make a whole new
account just for that?

What i'm trying to say
     in all of this is that it's
easy but it's not.

She was a challenge
     that i wanted but also
knew i could achieve.

A few months later
     and those same things that were too
small are now too big.

Also, the club might
     want to coach him properly
to avoid red card.

Because Riot is
     amazing at fucking up
the ranking system.

I play video
     games, I love baseball more than
damn near anything.

Marie Calendars
     chocolate silk pie (no other
chocolate pie will do).

Can someone explain
     to me what I'm looking at?
Misread, my mistake.

Monaco, Bastion,
     Super Meat Boy... all of them
work, no questions asked.

Why is it always
     the fat ugly ones that freak
out and get naked?

A couple of times
     he did get to the byline
and cut the ball back.

They were trying to pull
     the guys beating his friend up.
Do you even read?!

A lot of the rest
     got spread out over the woods
and a pond nearby.

He would brag about
     this multiple times a day.
"No seriously.

He knows I am not
     out spending her money on
shit so that helps too.

:D Because Caffeine
     isn't addicting but free
to buy everywhere?

Damn me all to hell.
     But again, let me thank you
for your opinion.

For racial tensions
     like this to change, BOTH parties
have to work at it.

He may or may not
     be acting out of love or
his own best interests.

They are just tricking
     you into thinking you are
getting a good deal.

We speak every few
     years now, but it's not the same.
I miss what we had.

Who exactly, is
     the US defending Europe
from at the moment?

Just wanted to make
     sure I didn't have a weekend
task ahead of me.

Someone tell me what
     I'm supposed to be "learning"
from Honey Boo Boo.

I liked it better
     short, but guys with shaggy hair
are pretty cute, too.

That's hilarious!
     If you're worried about it,
then just let him know.

Yup that is him, thanks.
     Didn't realize it was cancelled
so soon the first time.

She could even beat
     Amanda if the jury
is feeling bitter.

I aspire to be
     as good as him and he is
less than half my age!

Wouldn't be surprised
     if there were a few fans who
felt the same way though.

Oh, of course he needs
     to mature a bit, but he's
relatively new.

WHAT????????????????? Are you insane?
     Added "murderer" to tag.
Done. Just too stupid.

He played his way back
     into form in the second
half of the season.

I would kill to see
     that live and destroying minds
at the super bowl.

Comes in turns the light
     on and im covered in blood,
beds covered in blood.

Now that is trickle
     down economics Who is
the bad person here?

My mom is planning
     on getting some sage to cleanse
the house tonight. cool!

Ben gets called Big Ben
     so much it might as well just
be his actual name.

rack up the kill shots
     too (searching out the low bars)
with that burst damage.

You should pick the one
     that pertains to the culture
you are most fond of.

No interaction
     with a cop that comes to you
is just the best plan.

Animals that kill
     for more than survival is
fairly compelling.

And from what he says,
     he has so now the girl has
learned a life lesson.

Update: He sobered
     up, went home and the next day
went to his cottage.

The time is running
     out, and I don't have the will
to do anything.

Take your cynical
     selves somewhere where it matters.
Mine said "Denton, foo!"

Thank you. If I had
     time to type out a really
long reply, I would.

It isn't about
     any one single day, it's
about all the days.

This is the only
     way my two year old son will
sit on the toilet.

The subject that deals
     with working out formulas
is called Algebra.

I'll give it a try.
     Did you ask him why humans
were appetizing?

I would have but it's
     already gone and crossed out=(,
was that all you saw?

It probably helps but
     I find it's more of a pain
than a benefit.

It doesn't matter
     what ideological
clothes you dress it in.

Lie down on your left
     side and pull your knees up towards
your stomach somewhat.

In adult life, you
     can go to jail for five years
for a punch. FIVE YEARS.

Taxes based on how
     much you made is exactly
how it works right now.

I don't steal, I don't
     pirate online (since being
employed anyway).

If he starts crying,
     she will come lay at his feet
and lick him. Triplets!

Afterwards they should
     be retaliating back,
so quickly condemn.

Now, of that fifteen,
     two are monsters, six are spells
and seven are traps.

IT WILL TAKE YOUR MIND
     OFF WHAT YOU'RE MISSING AND YOU
WONT HAVE THE CRAVINGS!!!

I hate giving up
     after going that far, but
I just didn't have it.

Technology is
     equal to time in a way.
It's evolution.

So is nobody
     going to question how OP
has traveled through time?

I'm not denying
     that and I wasn't ever
responding to that?

I have so much time
     on my hands now, I don't know
what to do with it.

Im having the best
     time ever No idea.
It really is though.

Bad question. Those who
     are bigoted do not call
themselves bigoted.

I love this joke. Yeah,
     I still would be thrilled to get
most of those photos.

Unfortunately,
     if it's too good to be true,
it usually is.

They tried to maintain
     the level of life they had
but failed miserably.

You don't want people
     being frightened that something
is about to crash.

I was expecting
     (and hoping for) something way
heavier than this.

Often the actual
     resistance isn't the same
as the advertised.

You must find something
     with which to reward yourself
besides food. Same here!

People tend to do
     more things and be more annoyed
when its hot. Confirmed!

The list goes on. -What
     do you have to offer our
wonderful faction?

Then you both can get
     on with your own lives and raise
your kids how you want.

I think the closing
     pores issue can vary from
type to type of wood.

Are you a woman?
     and What show are you going
to watch instead? No!

I have spent a few
     hours lost in the "color maps"
feature already.

That is a value
     judgement, the judgement that these
movements shook the world.

I can hardly watch
     these, the voice makes my ears hurt
:s A Commission?

I stop everything
     and I don't think I've ever
deflated that fast.

It's a terrible
     truth, I know. But it's the truth.
Again, I'm sorry.

Unfortunately,
     it has only stormed a few
times this whole summer.

The part where he just
     says "I know I know" over
and over again.

The best thing you can
     do to help him is to leave
and protect yourself.

I've had this happen.
     When I cleaned the bowl and whisk
I got great results.

This is so stupid.
     But I know I'm not. Feet won't
let me. Dammit all.

Dammit all. Damned feet.
     *He continues to walk through
the dark corridor.

I'm really tiny
     and have trouble gaining weight,
so that's a big deal!

Well, I lived in South
     Africa and I can't speak
Afrikaans worth shit.

Seconded. I would
     recommend this book to just
about anyone.

It isn't about
     the money, it is about
sending a message.

I won't bore you guys
     with the whole story but I've
been there before too.

[deleted] ok,
     I guess I've just had good luck
with my china nails.

did he say before
     or after he banged women
other than his wife?

Pets, wild animals,
     and lab animals have all
become heavier.

You won't regret it.
     Oh hey I already had
you in my friends list!

Clapton's playing is
     unreal, totally unlike
what he is known for.

Childish Gambino
     and Yung Lean For child what should
I listen to first?

If I here one more
     "i seen it" I am going
to fucking throw up.

yeah, happened to me.
     Thought maybe it was a one
time glitch or something.

There are no special
     rules between humans and AI.
Yes, they can build them.

It's probably the most
     messy to work with but should
give the best results.

The situations
     are very different even
though they should not be.

Is it bad to say
     I'm jealous of it? What was
she supposed to do?

The design itself
     should identify the site,
not an about page.

I went in thinking
     that it was going to be
the best album yet.

I can't explain it,
     but I have to keep going
until "it feels right".

[deleted] Put more
     emphasis on your diet
than you would training.

Sometimes the author
     will write a fantastic book.
Sometimes it'll be crud.

A lot of wars, debt
     crises, and other problems
would be avoided.

Jesus fucking Christ.
     [deleted] Oh can't you see,
you belong to me.

You might try to read
     the book before making jokes
about its title.

Was anybody
     else expecting an old safe
to be the last pic?

So, eventually
     I have to tell them to go
away and block them.

Its people like you
     that ruin society
for the rest of us.

I haven't yet met
     one fellow countryman who
doesn't eat waffles.

Is it instant, or
     do you have to wait a few
minutes for the code?

What matters here is
     if the MAJORITY will
feel appeased. Nice shirt.

Just looked into it,
     definitely something I'm
going to need. Thanks!

I rice or water
     heat my Indigo orders
and it works out well.

That's true, but if you
     are the ones calling the cops,
it's different, I think.

The old word "fell" means
     "terrible" or "deadly." Whats
that they say on 4chan.

What fox should do is
     only show every Barca
and Real Madrid game.

not that it matters,
     but I do not think you are
telling the truth here.

what exactly should
     i be taking pictures of?
or anything else?

So, aim at about
     the height which the arrow pawns
at when you fire it.

The Dodgers are all
     over everybody else
that we put out there.

You basically can
     designate all digital
games to one account.

Being deaf would hold
     absolutely no affect
over racism.

And the one who died
     before I met her sounded
amazing as well.

It's so refreshing
     to know I'm not the only
one out there like this.

Most kids who act out
     sexually at a young
age have been abused.

But his score is high.
     I am assuming he did
way more than just die.

*Pulls out wedge* I read
     fantasy to get away
from real world issues.

She was very good
     about backing up, but kept
the drive in the house.

also Lime Rock Park.
     Especially when they're doing
historic racing.

You wake up aching.
     Nothing major, just an all
over body ache.

Then they'd ask again
     to make sure, and I'd go "No,
I'm not Mallory.

I guess they'll probably
     refresh it this fall along
with everything else.

My SO doesn't try
     to make me feel that way, but
I still get the guilt.

And you know a guy
     is bad when even the freaks
think he's too freaky.

Worst part is we got
     in trouble if we didn't bring
every single thing.

Also, why do you
     think no small armies would form
in an anarchy?

If there's something you
     feel comfortable sharing,
then talk about it.

If you want to end
     up living in that car, by
all means, go ahead.

Currently using
     Burts Bees, but I never feel
really "fresh" after.

This is the EXACT
     kitten I keep hoping ill
find in MY backyard!!

Maybe it varies
     geographically (I live
in Massachusetts)?

that you rile people
     up against you cos no one
wants to see that shit.

I WILL FUCKING BATHE
     IN BLOOD OF THE NEXT PERSON
WHO USES THIS WRONG!!

I have one that was
     given to me as a gift.
I actually love it.

One of these bastards
     comes on my arm and just stands
there doing nothing.