Reddit Haikus

Tons of people jumped
     in the carpool lane who weren't
supposed to be there.

Seems like the suit from
     the child's parents would help move
that along. Timbers.

[deleted] You're free
     to embrace absurdity
as much as you wish.

I hope I'm never
     faced with this situation,
but I'd like to know.

That is a never
     ending fight, and IMO not
good for Toronto.

I live on the gulf
     coast now, so the seafood is
more or less covered.

Would anyone cry
     if something were to happen
to these animals?

Hitler made the trains
     run on time as well, doesn't
make him reasonable.

I find evidence
     to the contrary, although
I'm sure both exist.

they did some bad stuff
     in various occasions.
How about the Dutch?

Fucking cheese. The fact
     that I did actually ask should
answer your question.

[deleted] I don't
     see why brick and mortar stores
are that important.

Well It's nice to see
     that you came out coherent
and still functioning.

But its a major
     bummer about the bike, hope
you recover soon!

Good grief! No wonder
     our economy is such
incredible shit.

But once the effects
     are gone, I could fall asleep
on a porcupine.

Bam, overdraft fee.
     Bam, bounced check. Cascade failure.
Six overdraft fees.

[deleted] I guess
     the Airport officials got
back at them kinda.

After every meal,
     go outside and walk around
the block a few times.

Hold a garage sale.
     Or a concert for the kids.
Make shirts and sell them.

They edited out
     parts they were too embarrassed
to read publicly.

I got my hands on
     the Wet a few months ago
and it blew my mind.

If a guy can't put
     shoes on which match his pants, then
I'm not interested.

Arturo Fuente
     Hemingway Between the Lines.
[Here's what it looks like.

probably the first thing
     we learn how to do, besides
eat and expel waste.

I never watched Star
     Wars as a kid, so I watched
all six together.

I finally took
     the time to put my thoughts on
this down into words.

All I'm saying is
     that is how I would handle
this situation.

That one's a keeper.
     no one did, no one probably
ever will. Same here.

What.. the... fuck? He just
     showed up and said "i'm going
to shoot you" then left?

Limbs falling asleep
     is due to circulation
being restricted.

I felt like it was
     nothing at all like previews
make it out to be.

However, the stuff
     he does in game pushes his
skills to the limits.

-Credibility?
     More importantly though, is
his claim true or not?

Just a way for you
     to get a full sized keyboard
and a controller.

Most games didn't have good
     voice communication built
in so text it was.

Now, I've stalled for weeks
     and gained back some of the weight
I worked hard to lose.

If you are a girl
     you should be far more worried
about your makeup.

Racist for being
     in Advice Animals Can
I come for dinner?

He doesn't even
     know who his real father is.
YA CHICKEN FUCKER!

A sort of useful
     website, but most prices are
completely off. Man.

Instead, we send out
     large military forces
to occupy space.

I only suffer
     from alcoholism if
I drink alcohol.

Except looks like no
     Colin, Wayne, Brad, or Chip from
the clip provided.

Despite what you state
     banks still earn a profit from
Fed activity.

Maintaining control
     is, of course, a valuable
part of that process.

on a dating site.
     where everyone is supposed
there to meet people.

My wife and I kept
     switching up our expressions
to make the kids laugh.

A weekly chess match
     between friends may be a good,
simple example.

Child abuse laws were
     put in place for children who
are *actually abused*.

Do something quirky,
     something that makes sense for you
two as a couple!

Great movie if you
     haven't seen it, and this dish
looks incredible.

I can't wait to see
     what shit ending they come up
with for this series.

And when you're doing
     that to start with, and money
gets tight? Then what? Please.

That has the exact
     opposite effect that it did
when I was single.

Most Western nations
     are bankrupt and it's just not
being admitted.

Those sound dangerous!
     Absolute nonsense. How do
you know what she thinks?

Your friend should know his
     limits better. The Nazis?
Are you serious?

I guess I never
     held it steady long enough
for it to lock on.

I really dug *How
     You Remind Me*. Hey, their first
two CDs aren't bad.

Which, I imagine
     would include all the drivers
for all devices.

what does that mean You
     should throw a garden party!
You are my hero.

As Janna, you should
     be buying wards every time
you go back. Always.

Call it what you want.
     I was enlisted and went
officer through STA21.

Now we need a way
     to communicate with live
(video or voice).

I think you could be
     "religious" and technically
not believe in god.

I have also climbed
     9s that had my attention
the entire way.

Done plenty of climbs
     at the grade with no hands rests
right in the middle.

Also, think about
     joining a group or taking
up a new hobby.

A one in ten chance?
     No way?! Thanks for making up
more bullshit stats Paul.

But our government
     doesn't fund enough research
to pick up the slack.

In fact, since the text
     flows unimpeded, it might
even improve it.

At this stage they will
     benefit from the heat just
as much as the light.

Sure, and if you learn
     Python, and then C, you may
expect it to work.

And oh, Sonia has
     never declined that she was
born in Italy.

When in doubt, always
     get the same bumper sticker,
it's bound to be cool.

You have lost my trust
     based on a spelling mistake,
therefore you are wrong.

On a related
     note, how's all that "Hope and Change"
working out these days?

Dang. I stand by what
     I wrote without compunction
or apology.

I guess my response
     was a little short and cold.
Sorry about that.

[deleted] I think
     this guy was in shock and not
thinking rationally.

If you weren't supposed
     to do it, you wouldn't be
able to do it.

[deleted] What's you
     character number & name?
It's not simply Reitz.

It is amazing!
     I love looking at the fish
in the clear water!

Usually pronounced
     "An Enemy". Not helped by
"With fronds like these..." jokes.

A skilled driver would
     be less affected by what
some would call bad luck.

Same goes for judges
     and anybody else who
can take your freedom.

Did they have actual
     control over him getting
banned from the forums?

How exactly do
     you advocate for such things?
I'll help if I can.

It's a nightmare trying
     to extract any meaning
from that sort of mess.

[deleted] Do Carl
     Sagan fucking Ray Comfort
while ripping a bong.

Blah blah black kids are
     bad blah blah blah racism.
BOO! best song eva!!

I'd wait until mod
     functionality has been
properly added.

you are hot for them
     Well, but do you have any
performance problems?

It doesn't mean less
     just because you haven't hurt
yourself to get it.

I just figured out
     my obsession with outdoor
and technical gear.

Too modest! Did you
     end up winning that contest?
I like your design.

I like your design.
     Did you use a template or
create it by hand?

Ignorance and good
     old fashioned stupidity
play a huge role here.

It is possible
     to have a city that is
clean, safe and peaceful.

for me to cause all
     the pain I want." What a shame!
Like Kevin Trudeau?

Live your life and be
     happy, you've been through a lot
and you deserve it.

[deleted] Because
     you can't smell soy sauce at all.
Problem? I agree.

It's people like you
     who are going to get guns
banned in this country.

The fact that you are
     going to hell when you die
It all makes sense now.

If it was a _good_
     criticism, I'd say thank
you and wish you well.

I would basically
     talk and listen to music.
Just hang out ya know?

Your examples were
     things that are fun, exciting,
and adventurous.

You say that you don't
     understand but then admit
that you enjoyed it....

have you ever felt
     you needed to wash your eyes
with soap and water.

Are there empty seats?
     Sure. But the place is always
full of energy.

Otherwise, I can't
     seem to find any data
supporting your claim.

[deleted] Well put.
     this is awful weren't these funds
frozen by the bank?

Don't fall for it kids.
     [deleted] nokia is
in deep shit right now.

It's funny because
     words have multiple meanings
that change over time!

Why don't we create
     silver stars for tertiary
members of the fin.

Thank you for sharing,
     it is probably the coolest
thing I'll see all day.

canada (at least
     ottawa and montreal)
have 4L jugs as well..

It was a goodie.
     Watch what happens when you put
on your 3D glasses.

Looks she went for her
     scan a couple hours after
hitting the buffet.

Maybe the people
     should just be able to opt
out of Government.

Luckily, they all
     moved out and new roommates moved
in, so I was saved!

A similar thing
     happened after there was leak
above my bathroom.

They've been used probably
     as long as people have used
phones in this country.

I could also go
     to a crowded bar and park
right next to the door.

Back then I wanted
     to believe because I thought
I was supposed to.

[deleted] Come on,
     you can do better than that.
True, true. Not cool dude.

[deleted] White guys
     general pay for their pizza,
and they also tip.

If a user logs
     in, use the session handler
to link their sessions.

This is the third time
     in one month that I have seen
this on the front page.

MS could also be
     willing to pay for millions
in advertising.

I guess me being
     pedantic, I should expect
pedantic replies.

The beta is not
     the finished game and should not
be treated as such.

Horse in a sewer?
     You can't explain that. Seems like
he thought about it.

"Entitlement" feels
     more negative to me than
"social." Sounds awesome.

Nevermind the whole
     "let's fuck while your boyfriend cries".
:D Yeah, exactly.

Just a side note, but
     I would buy a Nokia
Android phone. How come?

I could get beaten
     up and cut by angrier
cats bigger than me.

Little did I know
     that she decided to pass
out on top of me.

However I can't
     give people that strength, they need
to find it themselves.

After the movie,
     the Republican Party
gave their rebuttal.

The metal ones tend
     to bend a little after
the first few head shots.

"But even so," said
     Dwarf, "eventually it will
all come to an end.

Ever see a cat
     catch a mouse? It's not pretty.
That will never work.

You are confusing
     House of Representatives
rules with rules of law.

I'd make sure it was
     in German and that my nurse
did not speak German.

Vegetable. Zombie.
     So hard to chose! As a girl
I must disagree.

actually one of them
     keeps congratulating me
like i played the game.

So he could not go
     supersonic either way.
I FUCKING KNEW IT!

The reason for two
     categories, is so there
can be two stickers.

"Quality" comes from
     upbringing and genetics,
in other words **luck**.

I cannot see how
     morality can exist
without a subject.

"It fucked the jug up
     and it got me pretty wet"
Just keep forgetting.

In fact the software
     supplied with the clock ensures
such is the case. Yay!.

:D I am a guy,
     and I've often had to ask
myself this question.

Simple yet Brilliant!
     If that's what he'd meant, he would
have said "mouth", not "face".

If they are super
     accurate, you don't have them
just lying around.

We are no longer
     going to church just because
everyone else does.

If you think people
     aren't judging fat people, you
are wrong. Holy shit.

Because that's where you
     are storing the key value
pairs, not in $array.

Apple: Our way is
     the right way, and fuck you if
you think otherwise.

You think he's a douche..
     because he wrote a bible
reference on his cheeks?

And if what he says
     is uncalled for, how is what
you just said alright?

I just feel better
     going from a stop to race
pace when I'm stretched out.

There's always a way.
     I took Accutane as well
when I was younger.

Are you suggesting
     that *dead bodies decompose*?!
[Are you serial?

Just as he is here.
     They're asking to be judged on
their looks- nothing else.

It's not obvious
     to you, because you've probably
never heard of it.

I was keeping up
     with you guys for a few months
but now I give up.

So, in effect, I'm
     footing the bill for something
that I wouldn't use.

The woman is now
     suing her for lost wages
and mental distress.

To that, I'll simply
     mention that I actively
disguise my net worth.

If you say something
     that offends someone, just say
sorry and move on.

Nope, but they give jail
     time for attempted murder.
Yes, I've tried it twice.

Scientology
     Is there a site with many
images like this?

I do miss Target
     Lady, that one was decent
at least. why thank you.

That makes it ideal
     for armour piercing weapons
as penetrator.

I can't watch the show
     anymore from Switzerland.
Darn I loved this show.

One in hand, and one
     scurrying in the background,
just behind her head.

Have points about when
     you led a team, learned something
new, solved a problem.

My friend and I found
     out his dad masturbates on
my friends computer.

If there are none, it'll
     automatically bring you
to the posting page.

If you scroll down, there
     will be a table called Learn
Set by leveling Up.

--line from that song WHAT
     DO YOU MEAN "CUT THE BLUE WIRE"?!
THEY'RE ALL BLUE WIRES!!! Great!

I was there too, can't
     have been too far away from
where you took your shot.

What setting did you
     use for the buildings if you
don't mind me asking?

Then, I remembered
     Eisenhower's words, and then
I figured out why.

If you want to get
     better at free throws, you go
out back and shoot frees.

The Coalition's
     goals were achieved and almost
everyone went home.

I cannot confirm
     or deny I am any
hue of red towards TEST.

MY FAVORITE ARTIST
     COULD TAKE YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST
IN A GLITTER FIGHT!

Song composition:
     It definitely isn't
very exciting.

I called and said if
     caps were introduced I would
cancel my account.

Being cheated on
     is the worst feeling ever.
Don't pursue this. Please.

Now, it's been so long,
     I can't stop. Does anyone
else have this problem?

The price to buy her
     political influence
is affordable?

Why don't you all just
     act more like Americans?
Homey don't play dat!

He pulls a slug bug
     worm thing out of this chicks breast
and sets it on top.

then turn off your phone
     to make it look like it died.
Just an idea.

Also, I have left
     companies because they were
completely screwed up.

If they didn't intend
     to kill her, then they wouldn't
chase her if she ran.