Reddit Haikus

Head of department
     told you AFTER you signed them.
How far off am I?

[deleted] Also,
     beware of this happening when
entering college.

Regardless, I'm glad
     that I'm not the only one
who's considered this.

Roll one of them up,
     and if you think you can go
smaller then do it.

Deep steaming breaths push
     through his big white beard into
the crisp winter air.

However tired
     I am, my wallet always
gets the final say.

I ask, running through
     the standard starting checklist.
"I'm not sure," he says.

Too much trouble." "I,
     they-" He stops and takes a breath
before leaning in.

You kinda left us
     on the edge of our seats there.
Baby needs closure.

Guesses, in order:
     No, no (which I will probably
regret), yes, no, yes.

Is this strong enough
     to say I *regret* waiting?
Definitely not.

[deleted] "DID YOU
     PAY THE GOLD PRICE FOR THOSE TOOLS,
OR THE IRON PRICE?"

Dan: How shitty is
     your system and all your games?
Peter: So awesome.

We compromised on
     some other people I don't
work with any more.

It was Mongol, but
     I can't find it anymore.
Still looking, it's gold.

Supposedly you
     can trade stations with other
people in your class.

You get whatever
     days off your command gives you
unless you take leave.

Also, will we get
     emails confirming the date
when we'll be playing?

The men gathering
     the dead were wearing gas masks.
We didn't have any.

Good luck in your search!
     I'm pretty sure I almost
cried during that speech.

[deleted] Me too.
     But that wasn't my biggest
concern in the dream.

Everything I want
     to say could probably be said
by a gay guy so.....

Sadly though, farming
     has little reward for those
who don't own their farm.

I can't believe you
     successfully ate one, let
alone two God yes.

Ok, I will send
     that to you asap.
"I am THRICE divorced!"

Some ten year old clicks
     on Waldo facts and decides
to read the comments.

For him, he is just
     at the age of reading these
books for the first time.

When we watch, we watch
     Peter Rabbit, Curious
George, etc.

I think it would be
     cool if they built a new world
for the new system.

Yes, there are many
     more complications that are
not shown in the graph.

I don't know why you're
     almost negative when what
you said is the truth.

And if it is true,
     why not just permanently
price accordingly?

What if it prevents
     you from doing the things you
want to do but can't?

Sometimes (if you live
     in the states) the state can help
you get a tooth pulled.

I think the bigger
     crowd and live TV every
week will help with him.

It's not like they were
     limiting themselves to low
power consumption.

Like I called the cops
     on him, he was arrested,
and I STILL went back.

I didn't, but that's what
     I meant. I don't think those days
are "lost" exactly.

Because God cares more
     about your vagina than
about your morals.

You shouldn't use words
     when you don't understand their
specific meanings.

It'll never really
     be pleasant, but it shouldn't
be making you bleed.

It's probably the RAM
     chips on the graphic card who
are about to die.

You are that little
     girl's hero and you're probably
saving her future!

I just did my first
     own wrapping, and I'm very
pleased with the result!

No training required.
     It took far longer to get
my dog a license.

Now it's perfect on
     the screen but isn't showing
when I go to print.

Whatever you do,
     always zoom out to make sure
everything looks good.

But yeah you're right AD
     is good for laning unless
you plan to hard push.

Maybe there's something
     on it in IO, at least,
that's where I'd look. Thanks!

Just make sure you get
     the rust off first, there's no sense
sealing it in there.

The Michael Vick stuff
     all went down not long before
the shirt was printed.

But for what it's worth
     I'd think you were pretty if
you removed all your..

Well, let's look at some
     possible scenarios,
when Ike gets disarmed.

But the lineups are
     insane so pick nights you know
you're gonna enjoy.

Honest) Earlier
     the week before, I had got
sent to detention.

There have been people
     banned for this actually, and is
not just a rumor.

As a man without
     foreskin, I find lube to be
nothing but a mess.

A true IT person
     doesn't go snooping around
folders or emails.

The old lady gang
     outside the building where you
get the sex robot.

Ok, I will give
     that a try again and see
how it pans out. Thanks!

I'd imagine you'd
     get into the city from
the red line, up north.

Compared to someone
     with a real degree, you will
look inferior.

Sony is going
     after the second TV
in the kid's bedroom.

To misstate the true
     terms of the contract is fraud
and is illegal.

Basically just tried
     to clone call of duty like
every other game.

Will I get punched if
     I say an episode from
the big bang theory?

The asteroid would
     still have to break through a big
portion of the crust.

Peace talks are never
     about peace talks, it's about
hidden agendas.

I stand corrected...
     I would say you will get back
more than you gave up.

You have gorgeous eyes,
     and i feel it helps attract
attention to them.

What I'm saying is
     that "achieving happiness"
isn't possible.

If it had been two
     guys, it still would make kids laugh.
Just watch Roadrunner.

It's an unhealthy
     relationship that can no
longer continue.

GIVE US THE ALBUM,
     GIBBS. YOUR PRODUCER SAYS ITS
DONE. **GIVE IT TO US.

I definitely
     missed it, must have happened when
I went for a leak.

It probably mostly
     feels awkward because you don't
like the way you look.

That guy kind of looks
     like a dude in my office.
I'm mildly worried.

It's a postmodern
     piece, it can be performed just
about anywhere.

If I were actually
     there, my efforts would go towards
the cat every time.

We can beat the Pats
     and the Seahawks because those
games are in Houston.

I saw these guys on
     Dragon's Den! I heard they make
AMAZING jerky.

Oh my I laughed hard
     I'm assuming you're doing
more than JUST looking.

.......I'm amazed by not
     only the quality but
reply time! Thank you!

I manage to kill
     all of the runners before
I even saw him.

Then get everyone
     to agree to work through talks
and diplomacy.

Twin Peaks, then Misfits
     (which I gave up on after
two seasons). Ha hey.

For us, example,
     we disburse owner funds same
month, on the 20th.

And that we should all
     lose out 4th Amendment
rights because of this?

People make words bad.
     Just like people kill people
with guns. Best of Luck!

what color gem slots
     should it have? how many links?
what gems to put in?

I know there's a bunch
     more so I'll update this when
I'm not on my phone.

The higher I got
     the more I kept trying, it was
like vicious cycle.

Better route runner.
     Better hands. Graham is younger
and more athletic.

why not whole olives?
     [deleted] Please do not link
to stolen content.

I would like to know
     how ghost resists poison or
water resists steel.

IT'S SO DARK OUTSIDE
     IN BOSTON, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S
GOING TO DOWNPOUR.

Bad breakups wouldn't
     make a woman declare war
on fatherhood HA!

Because it is much
     more rare for someone to be
on *his* period.

The national side's off
     the ball movement is so great.
So much fun to watch.

He graduated
     from U of M and grew up
in Farmington Hills.

that is the single
     best picture i have ever
seen of you. ever.

Rad. [deleted] CAN
     I HAVE MY FUCKING COTTON
CANDY ALREADY!!!

If you want to play
     tomorrow I'll throw it in.
Send me a request.

It has some minor
     problems, but the story is
second to none. Both!

He had good forms, could
     hit shots, not selfish, knew where
to be on the court.

I hate feeling like
     I'm shooting invisible
bullets at bad guys.

I have been with girls
     that have had experience
and were terrible.

How do I apply?
     There are a ton of crock pot
meals that you can do.

It's about thinking
     you're special and trying to get
out of a ticket.

To use the setup
     I have, yes, yes and it will
format everything.

This is just my guess.
     I'm just going to assume
you have a small dick.

Physically keeping
     the inside of your PC
clean and free from dust.

That's really funny,
     it's almost like it was made
for me. Or by me...

The colors around
     your neck in particular
are mesmerizing.

It's only when one
     imposes on another
that things break apart.

Danger Zone! The War
     on Boys by Christina Hoff
Sommers Got a few.

I'm going to start
     killing a lot of people
if I don't get help.

Found a load of old
     Avalon Hill games ages
ago, still in shrink.

These tax rules by no
     means "prevent" anyone from
working anywhere.

I'd suggest the art
     classes if they focus on
basic drawing skills.

You can't leverage non
     profitable works against
profitable ones.

To tack onto this,
     did anyone ever hear
what country it was?

No one is going
     to come after you and try
to ruin your life.

The few times I let
     the story go, were the times
shit like this happens.

They can always just
     devalue the currency
and print more money.

It's all quite muddled
     at this point, so don't quote me
on any of this.

Plus you can put them
     in cookies or as a great
topping for ice cream.

*edit: I misspelled
     my imaginary word!
I thought the same thing.

It's the first and still
     one of the greatest modern
music videos.

My girls are sisters
     so they snuggle and groom each
other all the time.

money I believed
     that I wasn't aging but
those around me were.

Mein comfy couch. "Tooth
     ache" could also be referred
jaw pain from an MI.

That shit sure is fun
     if you think you are getting
away with it though.

It gives you a huge
     advantage when you approach
from behind the fish.

I grew up fishing
     meadows a lot though, teaches
you to stalk a fish.

You adapt to it.
     Do as the romans do when
rome rules the world, yea?

The Keyboard works well
     on mine as does the trackball
and it has great range.

EDIT: I should add,
     this isn't why I believe
Christianity.

I didn't take the best
     picture either (phone camera),
but it's not painted.

[deleted] I don't
     believe legal issues are
solved by waging wars.

I have been that friend.
     The couple denied it, but
I know what I heard.

She also assumed
     I cheated on test because
I "can't be *that* smart."

A few weeks training
     and then straight into a job
with decent money.

It upsets me he's
     not more of a household name.
[deleted] The Fall?

I was once sitting
     in the back of our family
Chevette with my friend.

Yup, that's it! Where did
     you get your tiny keyboard
Mr. Tiny Hands?

And since you refuse
     to post proof on what you said,
I guess I'll have to.

Ideally, you'd live
     close enough to a metro
stop so she could walk.

I have never used
     the middle of my finger
to pull the triggers.

That's too bad, I was
     hoping the morning wood would
get some morning dew.

Right. I read it too.
     I'm saying there's more than just
financial value.

We further ingrained
     that US forces in open
battle are unmatched.

[deleted] I think
     Snowden is a lawbreaker,
and he admits that.

Which intervals can
     be used to construct certain
chord tonalities?

Did Nicolas Cage
     turn you into a never
aging vampire too?!

Remember that kills
     don't matter if you don get
objectives with them.

Discarding the draft
     deleted the evidence.
Or something like that.

No one spray on wrist,
     rub wrists together, then dab
your wrist on the neck?

In general, crime rates
     are useful when you use per
capita numbers.

I don't usually
     have an asshole attitude;
you just piss me off!

Why not? I would go
     to a party with all girls,
as a girl myself.

I like. Not enough
     heat from my jalapeno
and pepper pickles.

Just kidding, the man
     is a saint and I worship
the ground he walks on.

The amenities
     are what my cousin really
loves about this place.

How is he paying
     for all this airfare, hotel
stays, etc?

Yes, the article
     specified the low level
idiots use them.

I would often think
     to myself "Why do people
buy into this shit?

I am breathing air
     that most likely a person
who is dead has breathed.

^^I'm ^^going ^^to ^^hell
     ^^for ^^this I don't believe so.
I'd love to see that.

Everything is good
     now but the honeymoon phase
didn't last very long.

I fell all the way
     to the bottom of the run
and my friend saw me.

I haven't heard or
     seen any mention of her
for about a year.

I'm still in college
     and he just graduated
and got a new job.

A magnet firing
     out of that thing could cause some
serious damage.

Test the marital
     waters and save so money
I'll be there both days.

If I wanted milk
     and sugar, I'd eat ice cream
or something. Here's mine.

It's CD also
     lowers dramatically when
you level it up.

just be careful not
     to flood them because that will
just make matters worse.

that about sums it.
     sure, i'm supposed to be here
for something, but what?

They would be better
     off if this religion had
never existed.

This continued through
     all the cut scenes when Shep gets
drawn to the beacon.

There was a constant
     stream of bullets coming from
his gun for minutes.

We have an office
     at the beach, catered lunches
and valet parking.

Just started a strength
     program last week and also
have started to cut.

It's an amazing
     guitar and I couldn't be
happier with it.

I never read all
     the books, but I'm sure you're right.
Pretty sure you're wrong.

Not understanding
     the concept of a beef steak
that is not well done.

Call of the wild, yo.
     The Jets had no weapons on
offense to be fair.

But no way in hell
     is the House going to pass
anything on this.

[deleted] Well why
     is Alpha spread out thinner
then oil on water.

What you are seeing
     is not normal, at least not
with factory loads.

First gear is jerky.
     Higher gears will make the bike
respond much calmer.

Do I have to kiss,
     kidnap, and kill all three or
do I pick one each?

Little kids gaping
     in horror and pointing me
out to their parents.

As a snowboarder,
     I'm used to having my feet
more across the deck.

If you have enough
     money, you might like to look
into that as well.

Ok, but why do
     you not want me to place ads
in my videos?

Good. Next time they should
     call the police and throw her
in jail forever.

Been seeing these all
     over trees, and been wanting
to do some myself.

Search my post history
     and they are easy to find.
I think it is bad.

Can't afford to run
     at the track every weekend
and it's not sanctioned.