Reddit Haikus

In essence, they were
     the "Apple Store" before there
was an Apple Store.

Didn't we already
     get that exact poetic
justice with Gale though?

I know, words are hard.
     Useful idiot. You're like
their little puppet.

If anything, it's
     men who have a narrower
choice in the matter.

They're having sex all
     the time, but they're not pregnant
nearly as often.

It's OK to cry.
     I have a tiny shower,
so we can't do this.

First I think you should
     clear that up before talking
about abortion.

Central planning helps
     stop people from fucking up
the environment.

Add that scenery
     and you have what I refer
to as Paradise.

As he was leaving,
     he totally heard me call
his baby ugly.

Tell her that you're there
     for her whenever she needs
someone to talk to.

Sometimes my girlfriend
     will just wear shorts and a tank
top with her hair up.

I still play with him
     sometimes, but I just don't feel
that spark anymore.

Are you still making
     your fantasy computer
that you'll never get?

Don't generalize
     the vocal minority
to the rest of us.

Or do atheists
     still think that people should not
believe in a God?

Once I heard someone
     whispering into my ear
when i was sleeping.

We're nothing more than
     animals that selected
for intelligence.

I know someone who
     did this to a pet ferret
which had stopped breathing.

Hats off to you sir,
     hats off Not feeling the black
face (no racist) watch.

Baby Bird jokes went
     on the whole year, and my friend
never even blushed.

I thought the same when
     I saw Luke Evans in 2011's
The Three Musketeers.

Sometimes you just want
     to know how much something costs,
including shipping.

This is shock humor.
     Without the humor. The guy
is just not funny.

This is good because
     you should also NEVER go
exploring alone.

They have GREAT games, but
     apparently nobody
developing them.

They changed how often
     you're supposed to apply it,
but I love this stuff!

It really helped me
     see results within the first
few applications.

Wow. Incredible.
     [deleted] Michael Jackson
wore a fedora.

My point is, why is
     being gay something that has
to be built up to?

If its the shitty
     flea market I'm thinking of,
be glad you missed it.

Nah, that's why I nail
     used condoms to my headboard.
More cost effective.

Keep up the good work!
     [deleted] Or a kindle.
Story of my life.

Hardcore gamers are
     merely a secondary
marketing group now.

I agree he is
     being a bitchy cunt but
does he have the right?

Funny you say that!
     I've got a set being sent
to me as we speak!

It's sweet when your friends
     have it for you when they aren't
even parents yet.

Yep, somewhere to chain
     your bike to, most often used
by bike couriers.

*reads headline* Islam?
     *reads article* Islam. *moves
on, bored* Okay, what?

Is that Spiderman?
     Wait, hold on... the video
would appear SLOWER?

Because his parents
     should have taught him about guns,
so I'm off the hook?

I should be able
     to do whatever I want,
whenever I want.

If you can afford
     the extra mags this gun works
great for a light role.

All I've been calling
     for for a number of years
now is goalie masks.

On a side note, what
     do you mean by 'suspicious'?
Suspicious of what?

And even if you
     don't pick all the "right" perks, you'll
still be effective.

you can tell capcom
     is trying to be very safe
with the formula.

Refusing to help
     another person is no
worse than harming them.

Korean citizens
     can play on any server
including Korea.

If you have as much
     time as you need then I'd say
attempt it yourself.

I wish. If the tour
     hit Portland or Seattle
I'd be there! Have fun!

Looking back, I can't
     believe I was so stupid
and blinded by love.

His Sonic series
     has been better then it has
any right to be.

Just had one today.
     Added some maraschino.
Worked amazingly.

I'd be more worried
     about crop diversity
than anything else.

Now I'm curious....
     It's about time! Gonna buy
one next time I'm there!

After he got off
     his train, he really needed
to use the bathroom.

And trust me if you
     were unable to see it,
you would regret it.

France had no choice but
     to fold and were an asset
later in the war.

We still perform live
     and are currently working
on a movie script.

Man, I hate when I'm
     called out on being witter
than I actually am.

Thanks for joining me.
     See you at the show! And TELL
YOUR FRIENDS, spread the word!

We got to the next
     couple neighborhoods over
and Jade lost her bra.

I genuinely
     wish you the best of luck, man.
Keep us updated!

I had sprung up from
     sleep, like horror movie style,
only once ever.

[deleted] Better.
     I mean of course, some days are
better than others.

But having her there
     when i do get more depressed
is a lifesaver.

The political
     bullshit is by far the worst
part of the patrol.

Most importantly,
     take classes to understand
what you are good at.

Words go so far give
     into action and make her
know How it's different.

the answers could be:
     Because A OR in order
to make C happen.

It looks like it'd
     sound like an accordion
if you pulled it out.

apparently when
     stacking you have to treat two
batteries as one.

Honestly there's no
     way not to pop those juicy
ones when you're in there.

In general, though, long
     limbs make pulling easier
and pushing harder.

MASSIVE TERRORIST
     ATTACK STOPPED. Red shirt always
dies first in Star Trek.

Reserve. In a food
     processor, combine almonds
and pistachios.

Also why do you
     think it's fair to make her do
things against her will?

But it's paid for by
     the taxpayer, or mostly
by the taxpayer.

She was your girlfriend
     and you couldn't just tell her
that she had bad breath?

Lame celebrity......
     Uh, yeah, watched that show almost
two decades ago.

my suggestion is
     put you pimp hand to use Yeah,
I agree with this.

I doubt the picture
     broke and the frame is probably
easy to replace.

The Labor party
     wants to build something that is
good for the future.

Cult in this sense means
     "devotion to a Saint" or,
in this case, a god.

Other popular
     ones are Sony Vegas Pro
and Final Cut Pro.

No benefit from
     income tax yes, benefits
from taxes? Sure, some.

Never oppose force
     with force, or stand toe to toe
with an attacker.

God damn gun safety!!!
     Well, they sell fertility
pills and alcohol.

Its pretty lame but
     i was proud because i came
up with it on spot.

Nothing gets me more
     excited than a brand new
permanent marker.

Are you planning on
     trimming it? im still waiting!
when are they coming!

The posters here seem
     to have no idea what
'original' means.

We usually stretch
     on a stainless steel table
and it works perfect.

Also I've only
     driven stick once in my life.
Would like to learn though!

Lower league football
     is often more exciting
than the Premiership.

Every single guy
     friend wants to be more than friends,
unless they are gay.

[deleted] Never
     did I think that two words could
be so powerful.

It is a very
     low cost solution with high
quality output.

Give it a watch when
     you get the chance This game could
have been so much more.

Easy high order
     functions are huge (if only
people didn't fear them).

Many schools have been
     known to be Wide Receiver
U over the years.

This is because oil
     is too thick and cannot be
stuck in those fuel lines.

Especially when I'm
     playing the field, and hooking
up from time to time?

I don't know why but
     I pull over, cross the street,
and check on the bear.

Yeah, it's like people
     hating sharks because they got
attacked by a shark.

That's funny my day
     has been full of leftover
jello shots and this.

Once you are hired
     as a performer, they teach
you the signature.

The Americans
     are willing to defend us
now, but for how long?

She understood where
     I was coming from and said
yes with a big smile.

Then count how many
     times people other than him
survived said stories.

I will keep looking
     later and let you know if
I figure it out.

**Edit:** Even if
     some points are garbage, I'm still
not drinking soda!

Anyone who can
     decode this deserves Karma
and a LOT of it.

He did a perfect
     job on the color matching
too, looks factory.

Find what fits your hand
     the best and what weight you are
comfortable with.

You know, I agree.
     People all over the world
should work together.

It's late and I don't
     care to argue with someone
on the internet.

[deleted] CUT HIS
     DAMN HEAD OFF Name please? Why are
fenders important?

In an area
     where people call each other
'nigger' and 'faggot'?

Perhaps Disney can
     make it up in merchandise
and DVD sales.

You can still achieve
     the two other stars if you
ignore the timer.

More on this topic
     in the monopoly thread
below the bottom.

The first thing I thought
     when I looked at it was him
doing Sage training.

Hair, and lack there of,
     is my thing!! And you have both!!
Keep being sexy!!

Yes, well, if I made
     the shop too good then people
*might not get the joke.

If gay marriage is
     legal, then you can marry
either straight or gay.

Using my foreign
     language around people who
only speak English.

The only other
     thing is maybe a little
less friend reactions.

it might be quicker
     to take a photo of them
and post them on here.

Just because you can
     get a pill for it, doesn't
mean it's a defect.

If he needs the dough,
     then good on him for going
out and getting it.

EDIT: Sadly her
     attempts of encouragement
aren't that effective.

I'm just glad many
     people are OK and still
alive from the crash.

One of my all time
     favorite moments of last year,
such a great live shot!

I feel as if Roasts
     aren't as relevant really
like they used to be.

I'm a lesbian.
     *Are you sure you haven't just
had the right dick yet?

manipulating
     ANYONE using sex is
wrong, plain and simple.

If that person is
     big enough to hold their own
against you, hit back.

It's even better
     that the dog is grown, and not
just a cute puppy.

Great simple reply
     correct You went to the show
in San Francisco?

Same thing with every
     Hispanic family but said
in Spanish instead.

OP was not shaming
     the patient in any way.
Yeah, this isn't true.

Stuart Scott and Kenny
     Mayne were awesome and enjoyed
talking with the crowd.

Just PM me when
     you got the time and I will
try and get you there!

Point is, fluency
     is a lot of work and not
many achieve it.

I'm not really sure
     how to respond to your riff
on numismatics.

White glove and pistols
     not really necessary
unless you insist.

Then every major
     figure in forgotten realms
that is good is male.

I think you're confused.
     I knew a man who once said
death smiles at us all.

Its not a rumor.
     Mobile games sell well and its
only rising. Dude!

We need only one
     such scene to make the point, but
Old Boy has zero.

Damn man. I'm not sure
     I would be comfortable
eating foreign food.

I'm not sure I would
     be comfortable eating
foreign food. Agreed.

[deleted] My best
     friend on Christmas Day, his wife
bought him this huge box.

Ms. Black eyeliner
     you'd look finer with each day
in hiding, oh yeah.

The other post was
     about common internet
Indian warrior.

I have a small list
     and honestly anything
would be great to eat.

I would say my save
     runs pretty smoothly without
getting corrupted.

If God controlled that,
     then where would true faith come from?
Would true love exist?

If you can't respect
     the members of this sub, you
shouldn't be a mod.

Chips are quite common
     now, so most people will know
to have the dog scanned.

A lace making kit,
     to make fancy doilies like
your granny would have.

He's a phony! Hey!
     This man's a big, fat phony!
I can't watch that fast.

what the fuck apple
     Okay pal, no need to make
fun of the Polish.

Golfs are amazing.
     [deleted] [deleted] What
edits did you make?

Do we have a place
     where we can trade furniture
and custom clothing?

Besides, she grew up
     with the memory of her
raggedy doctor.

That's how it "worked out".
     Which would be wrong, but I think
that's his argument.

Stay at a healthy
     weight and you should be better
off than most of us.

You have a poodle
     named George who is blind but you
love him very much.

The sentence makes sense
     either way That is so cool!!
An awesome family!

Let me first preface
     this by saying I was born
and raised a Muslim.

Joffrey is like Robb.
     Minor Character needed
for major plot points.

The second party
     we had I asked him to buy
the cups for the keg.

to get it just so.
     It looks lovely, and isn't
too noticeable.

It looks like you sawed
     that in half with a dull or
bad serrated knife.

A daily deal may
     come back later as a flash
deal, or vice versa.

Hitting your kids is
     like taking the easy way
out of parenting.

Smoking and drinking
     isn't going to get you
anywhere in life.

[deleted] I can't
     explain why this made me laugh
so hard, but it did.

Yup! You have equal
     chances with everyone else!
Uh.. not really that.

That is so messed up.
     Hope you're ok now. did you
even leave a mark?

He looks like the old
     guy playing chess in the park
in that Pixar short.

I had this exact
     same issue on my RIA
tac with the stock mag.

In sunny weather
     the inside of a car can
get extremely hot.

I don't get it what
     does Jonah bing Jonah boom
have to do with this?

Really? I was charged
     with a lot of other stuff
that she just made up.

I found out about
     this in Arizona when
I was in college.

[deleted] I've had
     this issue too, but it was
in February.

Give them a blank stare
     until they say something like,
"What, nothing to say?"

She didn't like turtles
     Heard a similar story
from a friend of mine!

They could be guilty,
     and if this holds on appeal,
they'll get what's coming.

I don't think I caught
     that during the many times
I watched that trailer.

It makes sense I guess.
     That way, you don't double dip.
Yeah that guy! Yes please.

But I think the whole
     over thinking and victim
act is just the worst.

Skipping meals is fine
     as long as it doesn't cause
you to binge later.

That's what teenage bad
     decisions are all about.
Stop regretting it!

Same bad intentions,
     and the same emotional
and physical pain.

Anyone wanna
     adopt me into their rave
family for a bit?

[deleted] They tried
     to make me into a girl
That's a good question.