Reddit Haikus

He's Don Draper, but
     he doesn't make you feel like
you need a shower.

These conditions are
     actually observed all the time!
Think scuba divers!

I honestly don't
     find this very inspiring
or enjoyable.

I bet his dad can
     beat up your dad. Steep? Or *hard*?
I'll show myself out.

Why are you sharing
     these things with total strangers
on the internet?

Compared against most
     dogs he smells good, I actually
like the way he smells.

Guess I missed you you
     sound ignorant, please provide
sources Learn to cook.

Typing "whilst," even
     in the correct context, makes
you sound like a tool.

Why does this matter?
     Because the largest payment
is often the last.

It's like a secret
     language only old ladies
can understand. Yeah.

Which is a damn shame.
     I'm not sure I understand
what you're trying to say...

I think the reason
     girls in the crowd were yelling
"I love you Bolin!"

It isn't twisting
     words when it is a direct
quote used in context.

Wow that's amazing!
     forearm, biceps, pectoral
and back strength for breast.

Only thing I'd change
     is relax your eyes and try
to shave the mustache.

That bit actually jogged
     my memory of going
to one of those too.

But it was never,
     **ever**, intended to go
public by Whiting.

I'm glad you like what
     I have to offer!!! What else
would you like to see?

Maybe given time
     I can see it differently.
Always worth a shot.

Some extra info
     would be great in targeting
the right books for you.

In the Captain's chair?
     You heathen! They frowned upon
your crocheting skills.

So pm me if
     you'd be interested in some
company some time.

One thing make sure you
     are not spinning on your toe
in your follow through.

I feel like I was
     just hit with a ~~brick~~ propane
tank against the head.

Yea lol sounds
     like wishful thinking but I'll
keep my fingers crossed!

I knew the day would
     come when I could quote movies
with the best of them.

How could I download
     the complete program to try
on my computer?

The winner should be
     the one with the better sword
and the most potions.

Oddly, exactly
     the same thing seemed to happen
with Andromeda.

And I suppose by
     now you're wondering where is
this promised cider.

[deleted] It was
     definitely a fitting
end to everything.

As a programmer,
     describe to me how you are
going to do this?

When the boot menu
     comes up, select your Windows
install and press F8.

Run "Startup repair"
     or "startup recovery" or
whatever it's called.

This combo becomes
     even more deadlier when
you get daedalus.

This is amazing
     yet I would never ever
want it in my house.

You have to figure
     out what you acceptable
level of risk is.

Now whether or not
     anyone else gives a shit,
is irrelevant.

The best MC with no
     chain you ever heard. Mr.
Pollock, I presume?

And the Klan didn't hate
     minorities, they just love
healthy neighborhoods.

I guess you could look
     at it that way, but the two
are very different.

I would like to share
     the whole story of my heart
when i hear his words.

His vagina has
     sand in it Oh dang, that sounds
totally crazy.

Hope you post more :P
     Well, let me interject some
science into this.

cause Louis Vuitton
     [deleted] mind if i ask
where in ms this is?

If life is a game,
     it is justifiable
if you make the rules.

You're just some asshole
     on the internet looking
for attention, too.

[deleted] Well then...
     Guess I'm never watching those
videos again.

[deleted] I love
     "Time." It's my favorite by Cute
is What We Aim For.

That is easily
     the most adorable thing
I've seen all day. Thanks.

Thanks. Did she also
     Summon pirates? I'm still here.
Is the post removed?

Try exercising.
     Or doing a martial art.
Go for daily walks.

Exclamation point?
     They can do that in New York,
at least. Legally.

I wouldn't say God
     loves either of them any
more than the other.

Oh my god, was just
     watching her on How I Met
Your Mother. So strange.

Also project free
     TV There certainly aren't
that many of us.

Some bull**** people make
     up to justify doing
(or not doing) things?

Insulting people
     is a great way to get them
to agree with you.

Tightest emissions
     you have is SMOG (I believe)
in California.

He has a high base
     speed and is useful even
without explosion.

Your Haiku is poor.
     Seven, five and seven is
the most common form.

Once again. Grad school,
     go to grad school for what you
really want to do.

That sounds like something
     I'd leave on the DVD
release just for laughs.

When this kid becomes
     president they will say his
story started here.

The top always has
     crusty dried up milk that smells
bad no matter what.

You can't find someone
     in an entire city
you find attractive?

I'm not following..
     after I drink the bug spray,
do I go outside?

"I am so worried
     about this shit that could be
killing my mother.

And yet people still
     don't know how to properly
use the phrase "a lot".

If positions aren't
     required, the owner doesn't
look for applicants.

You could play your last
     card here, and suggest to him
the couples counseling.

It's been my backup
     plan for a while, in case grad
school doesn't pan out.

They got dirt in them
     and I worried about some
kind of infection.

Generally speaking,
     everyone who read the full
post got the main point.

It's freaking me out,
     even though I know it's just
Francine and Charlie!

I figured it out
     after the first hundred times.
I commend you sir.

Nothing to see here...
     :P Thanks And what of Carlyle?
Dostoevsky? Rothbard?

How are Bush Tax Cuts
     related to nuclear
treaties and welfare?

My "doctrine," I guess,
     as far as gods are concerned,
is that there are none.

Absolutely love
     his books, in fact, I might just
read them again now.

Don't let it get you
     down, it should be flattering
that she cares so much!

Maybe you'll realize
     that your assertion of me
being wrong... is wrong.

Someday though. So did
     you name him after the food
dish he will become?

Hell, I'll even pitch
     in a letter or two or
eight or whatever.

Unfortunately
     I tend to break my wrist down
so my shots go low.

Ask yourself why you
     would do that, and if you don't
understand, ask them.

I agree, Thalia
     and Angelic Destiny
are amazing works.

if she doesn't care,
     I don't care. two of the best
nights my life so far.

If you ever get
     the chance, you should stop by Sam
Bond's Garage on Blair.

He has a Matt Schaub
     look to him with the helmet
on Good idea.

I'm so confused from
     my thought processes right now.
This man is precious.

Like with occupy,
     the people are trying to push
certain ideas.

actually, I really
     wouldn't like this sort of thing
in the actual show.

A tip I heard is
     to look at job openings
for the job you want.

so you are saying
     that v6 and v15 are talking
about the same thing?

Some day I might build
     such a site but I would need
quite a bit of help.

Soon as we pulled them
     from the mixes things went back
to normal. Jealous.

It's clearly really
     deep Actually (knowing this kid)
he was born crippled.

I have to point out
     that you are wrong when it comes
to your last statement.

I don't like the stop
     sign down the road, it doesn't
mean I can run it.

I'm not claiming all
     that you've assumed, and you've well
overstepped your bounds.

Cannot be undone.
     I still don't understand why
people like this guy.

Sarge, man, don't make up
     do push ups again today.
My arms are sore, dude.

It sounds like the OP
     is indulging her these things
only for the sex.

Where I live you can
     have pretty much anything
you want, lol.

Really just going
     to practice a bit and try
out different lighting.

That was... Wrong, of me.
     Here in Australia, there was
quite a big impact.

its like the room starts
     to spin, like im on a ride
at the county fair.

Was gonna say that.
     The fountain is right behind
the picture taker.

My whole life this has
     divided us, and never
by my own doing.

[deleted] Churchill!
     Your cat looks like a Churchill!
:D or a winston.

have more classes on
     the work force, economy,
and politics. True.

I've already read
     this story a thousand times.
That's why I did it.

Here's a plan: Write down
     the amount of all your debt
including your car.

When I worked their help
     desk, I would tell these people
I could not help them.

I don't think we should
     use this as a suitable
method of polling.

I do wonder just
     what was in this amazing
vegetable compound?

Not a good range sight
     since they are combat sights but
I've been rather pleased.

At the time, I didn't
     understand what the big deal
was, I was a kid.

I can't tell if it's
     confidence or cockiness.
I hate this so much.

Or is it because
     bisexuals (girls, at least)
*aren't* marginalized?

lol Ok
     well in that case, I fucked up.
That sounds fantastic.

Does it normally take
     people more than one motion
to take their shirts off?

So I wanna help
     make your grandma happy 'cause
grandmas are the best.

But did you jump from
     the chair into tactical
all heroically?

Not hard hard enough
     to bleed or mark but enough
to sting for a while.

I hope you can look
     at your behavior and make
the same choice I made.

She wouldn't even
     acknowledge that I destroyed
the rival faction.

Yeah, apparently
     black people of any age
had trouble tipping.

You deserve better.'
     It's actually an indirect
feminist statement.

I don't think that I'll
     be able to continue
seeing my girlfriend.

How much does it cost
     per person per year to live
out in the free world?

She looks familiar.
     I don't talk to her because
I fear the outcome.

shit, it is a bit
     more expensive than what you
are looking for though.

I went through a phase
     where most of my friends were girls
when I was a kid.

I heard My Body
     and thought it was really good,
so I looked them up.

No, just an awful
     difference in vision between
the two eyes I have.

I get more chills from
     this version than I do from
the one you posted.

Personally, I think
     we should go to "Metric Time"
and a six day week.

It doesn't affect
     my chances, though, so why not
help a lady out?

If it's an "unborn
     child" then so is all that stuff
in your old gym socks.

It has olive oil
     which is both super healthy
and energy dense.

As a mom it is
     hard when things can't go the way
*I* want them to be.

I don't know about
     the logos but i kinda
hate the stadium!

I figured it was
     nothing so I kept sitting
there for a moment.

I think I'll edit
     my post to reflect these new
changes in my goal.

I swear a guy on
     the subway once asked me if
I had a boner.

Try to borrow from
     friends or get more hours at work
to pay for the work.

so the wealthy pay
     more taxes in percentage
and absolute terms.

I had some big scrapes,
     and it hurt for a few days,
but I am okay.

The point is, people
     have a tendency to speak
in banalities.

As is, the colors
     don't clash, but they also don't
blend into one look.

[deleted] Archer?
     I hope so, because Archer
if fucking awesome.

It's a great feeling.
     What department do you want
to work in? Do it!

It could be she could
     benefit from an eating
disorders program.

Those Vista machines
     must have been bloated and had
old installations.

It's seriously
     the only reason why I'm
against using it.

The best thing I can
     think to tell you is to be
patient with yourself.

I mean, since you said
     something so clever, it must
be true. Are you sure?

Hi, I completely
     understand that this is new
and scary for you.

Definitely work
     on more projects if this one
got you excited.

I did strength training,
     didn't really change my diet
believe it or not.

[deleted] I don't
     think it revolves around it,
it responds to it.

last time i wanted
     to try lottery, they said
you had to wait there.

I also, when no
     one was looking, would pick up
sticks and try magic.

He's not allowed drink
     alcohol Coffee or tea
is considered DRUG!!!!

Not even kidding.
     Paper airplanes are the shit!
Sanford Florida.

More like let him make
     the decision for himself
when he's an adult.

Underwear models
     seem like they get hired more
than actors. So sad.

I swear we looked right
     at him but I did not see
and facial features.

What, exactly, are
     these 'oppressions' based on race,
gender and the like?

Then I thank the man
     for not further retarding
the English language.

I really hope you
     get to see it as it was
really fantastic!

Lich is especially
     amazing against level
dependent heroes.

Thanks. Yeah, something well
     planned and prepared like that is
hard to react to.

For all the bullshit
     he talks, why is he so lax
with his location.

For an interesting
     read, check out "How Doctors Think,"
by Jerome Groopman.

In case of snipers,
     I just juke them out or stick
to cover. Agreed!

They'll supply a whole
     laundry list detailing just
how awesome they are.

And it is so much
     more fun and easy to gain
then it is to lose.

but I have gone back
     and watched the movies many
times since then. great films.

Yeah, it sucks being
     the privileged majority.
official price $260K.

Seriously, what
     the fuck happened with Heroes?
Had such potential.

Study and enjoy!
     The audience here knows, by
and large, what I meant.

It covers both those
     who believe we're born in sin
and the groups who don't.

There's absolutely
     nothing to base this backseat
diagnosis on.

The important thing
     here is that you at least asked
before you did it.

There have been white slaves.
     Back in the day, that was true.
It was called Ante.

Well maybe not first
     place I was a wee bit baked,
but I swear we were.

She's not lying. Ah,
     I live here because it's where
all the cool fish are.

Gasoline engines
     do not work, but fire powered
alcohol stills do...

Even when you are
     compatible, you may still
go through rough patches.

Character limits
     are not an issue, but please
refrain from rambling.

I make a decent
     wage, live alone, and have no
complaints with my life.

He is still learning
     about all of this and will
come into his own.

Then why do they make
     long sleeve shirts with different prints
on the inside, eh?

You have permanent
     8am class of the working world
to look forward to!

In the last few years,
     our corners have been banged up,
and he has filled in.

Because his mom lived
     in another state and was
sort of hit or miss.

I had hit my head
     on a similar bar, but
just above my eye.

I hope, whatever
     your child decides is right, will
turn out as lucky.