Reddit Haikus

Folgers!" [deleted]
     Come on guys, we have to learn
to laugh at ourselves.

He was holding on
     to a stunt man and falling
on to an air bag.

In fact, it may be
     the only adorable
phrase I've seen you use.

All of your Doctor
     Who related questions may
be answered therein.

That would help people
     figure out whether to switch
from 10lb jumps to 5lbs.

The issue is not
     about whether it's easy
to use either way.

where do I sign up?
     Someone get this man a job
in advertising.

It seems like I killed
     two people on the roof, but
I can't get to them.

she was a good kid
     that never got in trouble
but very strong willed.

I'm in Canberra.
     I've seen Mountain Goat around
but never tried it.

One eye open seems
     to imply only seeing
half of the picture.

[deleted] Just calm
     everyone (high illusion),
sneak up, pickpocket!

If its down to me
     or fido, im all for some
hot dogs. Not really.

[deleted] "Glisten"
     is such a weird fucking word.
Just say it out loud.

Say it will never
     happen again, admit you
were an idiot.

I wasn't aware
     that Scots changed spellings of words
to match their accent.

She would try, but just
     this little raspy squeak is
all that would come out.

No one considers
     heimer a strong mid choice since
he lost his third turret.

And I won't bother
     compute the error margins
because I don't care.

But I haven't been
     to africa, so I'm not
really an expert.

Women don't get paid
     less than men for the same work,
that's simply a lie.

Does anybody
     want to watch a sport because
players go through pain?

the act of war wrong
     ill agree, reason for war
may or may not be.

I personally was
     sent to private Catholic school
my entire life.

I would say this is
     technically the lowest point
in human history.

My grandfather bought
     my aunt a pair of these from
Mexico I think.

EDIT: sorry, no
     you weren't but I know many
reading this thread were.

It terrified me
     because I was secretly
trying to still lose weight.

I, too, hope to be
     able to provide enough
veggies for our meals.

Just a theory, though.
     I can't wait to get outta
delaware county.

Don't worry about
     winning the argument or
winning him over.

Spoke truth. [deleted]
     this is arguably our
strongest squad to date.

When I'm in the mood
     for watching porn, it's strictly
amateur these days.

e: I ask because
     I have been playing for years
and have also coached.

What do you do when
     someone moves and you don't find
another renter?

If he were a bit
     *worse* or his team was worse, he'd
have *more* already.

Either way pretty
     much name a price and I'm sure
I wouldn't say no.

it appears to make
     the yeast dormant not dead from
what I understand.

the longer it sits
     the better the flavor blends
and cools as it were.

And actual almond
     flour should give it a slightly
fluffier texture!

We as a people
     need to take a long hard look
at ourselves in this.

The ladies then showed
     up and several dares were made
(silly breeder games).

Works great. Ammo? Rocks.
     Yes this is us. How the crap
did you find this though?

Bingo bango done.
     I get what you're trying to say,
you just did it wrong.

:p Something to be
     sure to keep an eye on is
your idle workers.

You can however
     examine yourself, sew good
seeds for the future.

What is the longest
     amount of time you've ever
done a handstand for?

But that seems to be
     the norm for community
colleges today.

I'm fairly sure there
     is a Bloodhound song out there
that you might enjoy.

I guess you end up
     paying even more, over
time, with a house, though.

Police officers
     are not your friends when you are
being pulled over.

SO FUCK ALL OF YOU,
     AGAIN EXCEPT FOR THE BROWNS.
I CAN'T HATE YOU GUYS.

Anyway, football
     isn't my thing, so no thanks!
But thanks for offering!

Hah... [deleted] did
     the same thing to my mom when
i was that kids age.

Do what I said man,
     trust me. [deleted] A Dr.
Hibbert. For science!

I like how going
     through the car wash changed your car
from purple to red.

Oh, and don't forget
     that wireless mouse, because that's
totally foolproof.

Also, have you played
     around with this site to find
good streaming movies?

And what do you think
     about the saying "absence
makes the heart grow fond"?

I'll be heading back
     down kind of late, to avoid
traffic, Sunday night.

Honestly, he was
     not all that bad when we had
money coming in.

Just ask the people
     who were diehard Nixon fans
up until his death.

Well fortunately
     my only saving grace is
that I got the kill.

I think countries should
     support their own citizens
and their own damn laws.

Have you been able
     to steadily lose weight while
drinking heavily?

*rage give me sunlight*
     Yeah me too. The ones posted
were all pretty good.

Unless the church wants
     women to be mountaineers,
which would be awesome.

And what do you think
     about the saying "absence
makes the heart grow fond"?

Filling in the blanks
     with "god" or "magic" or "ghosts"
is ridiculous.

[deleted] Sometimes
     regulating your pace helps
to regulate speed.

I am halfway through
     now and I can say it is
pretty good writing.

Or would that just make
     things look messy? Clearly ghosts.
That's because it's not.

Racism is wrong
     but outlawing it doesn't
fix racial tension.

I recommend you
     [read through the tutorial
from start to finish.

Im gonna call you
     as soon as I draw these things
away from the door.

But I enjoy it,
     even though I know I am
not going to win.

We cannot separate
     the air that chokes from the air
upon which wings beat.

Some people don't know
     how to apply knowledge from
different areas.

I felt like they would
     pander for viewers with "fear
factor" like gimmicks.

What. Teach songs, not drills,
     not scales, not exercises
and not theory. Songs.

All three comp controlled
     teammates stood still until you
took control of them.

And it's probably not
     even made from real truffles
but from chemicals.

[deleted] I guess
     all animals taste better
when they are babies.

Not the chewing though.
     Excuse me? Don't come on here
calling me stupid.

Everything is fake
     until proven otherwise,
so just enjoy it.

Can you recommend
     some specific tunes for each
one of those artists?

July seems a long
     time ahead but it's going
to come pretty soon.

If your meat is cooked
     through and your vegetables are
hot, it's edible.

There's a reason why
     Chrysler corp is always on
the verge of collapse.

I'm not sure why, but
     you don't seem to be happy
about my answer.

Late model. If you
     are a driver, you are one
crazy crazy man.

Yes, there was nothing
     wrong with the bike related
to the accident.

After the thermal
     compound has settled it runs
at a cooler temp.

As I recall, Paul
     Graham thought Lisp was cool and built
some cool stuff with it.

Fewer casual fans
     would watch games if it was warm
and sunny outside.

my beauty standards
     in fantasy and real life
are very different.

There are terrible
     issues out there that truly
deserve assistance.

Just like every thing
     else, government assistance
is an easy mark.

As an Eagles fan,
     that didn't exactly pan out
well for us this year.

[deleted] Come play
     Instinct and then talk to me
about a skill gap.

They're probably struggling
     right now, but his wife doesn't
seem to really care.

We are on a long
     journey and we at different
parts of that journey.

Definitely sounds
     like an employee I'd like
to have on my team.

do they fight over
     the toy often or did you
get a toy for each?

Not entirely.
     But that's probably the best guess.
tom selleck? blue bloods?

Think objectively
     about this, you'll see where you
went wrong. I liked it.

I just want to make
     that clear that I'm not taking
credit for the work!

As long as you don't
     interfere with me I wont
interfere with you.

These contributions
     are what his campaign can spend
directly on ads.

That is how you were
     when this happened. OH Perfect!
Sandstorm by danube!

I'm a good wrestler
     so I'd immediately
take it to the ground.

ya I was thinking
     this exact same thing after
the interaction.

Got me there. Still gross.
     Host a roast. Oh hey that rhymed.
Some would, some wouldn't.

Or does this take place
     before Libraries became
mostly obsolete?

That would be a lot
     more progressive than simply
applying labels.

That's okay with you?
     So long forests of the North
East, we won't miss you?

Mine: 61D, his: Dog Why
     does this look so familiar?
Isn't this in LOST?

Not to sound dumb, but
     I didn't even understand
the joke that was made.

Good suggestion, thanks.
     [deleted] What a quote i've
just heard in this talk.

If you are looking
     for ransom, I can tell you
I don't have money.

And I imagine
     there will be people that will
love you regardless.

"facts") on this planet
     to substantiate my faith.
Because its a sport?

Clear skin all the time!
     Also STDs but that's
already been said.

You can't explain that.
     It isn't your place to be
askin' questions, boy.

The idea is
     great, I would love to see what
you can do with it.

Maybe I'd even
     get hydraulics and hop through
the really rough parts.

[deleted] Until
     yesterday, I would have said
wait for Ivy Bridge.

I know its cliche
     but you can do whatever
you put your mind too.

I don't understand
     why people with pets don't get
garbage cans with lids...

I really wish you
     the best in this, and hope you
can figure this out.

I wouldn't even
     consider it if I were
in your position.

UNIX never did
     treat everything as a file,
neither does linux.

We were on the outs,
     but I think that may have been
the last straw for her.

If your girlfriend trusts
     and respects you, then she should
be ok with this.

It's usually worth
     calling a few times, hoping
for someone helpful.

It was especially
     fun because I was taking
that drug at the time.

did you actually look
     at a panda before you
did the eye makeup?

just get health items,
     you won't have any problems
The what the what now?

Thanks for the heads up.
     I'll go ahead and join Eve
UNI right away.

Very manly tears.
     ###this is some seriously
fucking scary shit.

This is a very
     simplified "experiment",
but it's worth a watch.

Stay angry with me.
     And stay focused on toppling
the patriarchy.

And stay focused on
     toppling the patriarchy.
This is the ticket.

Good times! Ok I'm
     in the room when ur ready
[deleted] Agreed.

It would take something
     similarly dramatic
to ban birth control.

Someone who is street
     smart will know how to handle
this situation.

The far left preach things
     like free housing and higher
benefits for all.

Obviously, it's
     better to show someone who
knows nothing, something.

If you mouse over
     that it should become a link
to my steam profile.

Sounds like she needs more
     foreplay to get more wet, or
simply use fake lube.

I've used strawberries
     and champagne yeast recently,
Strawberry Cordial!

It's a convenient
     excuse to find another
source of revenue.

(Ths is the lane for if
     you have an electronic
reader in your car).

I believe this post
     is pointing out that I can.
What is the difference?

Any of the styles
     suit you, but honestly you'd
look really great shaved!

Makes me want to go
     attack a ridiculous
hill asap.

My birthing classes
     ABSOLUTELY prepared me
for labor and birth.

I didn't really feel
     any sort of connection
to the story line.

America had
     the right crops, and was able
to farm them for "free".

They are mostly large
     breed mutts that shouldn't have been
born in the first place.

I give the black nod
     to black people so they know
I'm down for the cause.

There are other ways
     to deal with that than joining
the military.

Woman here who just
     finished a relationship
with a Chinese man.

I think it's stupid
     political grandstanding
by Republicans.

After I remove
     the ice pack I use a deep
pore cleanser lotion.

God this music sucks.
     Your life without internet
looks so much better.

Or maybe they just
     got into some rat poison
or toxic garbage.

They're all just made based
     on a standard that doesn't
fit anybody.

It will, if we get
     off our asses and show real
cause for taxation.

And yes, this clearly
     is your problem no matter
how you define it.

I had to throw up
     and piss, and didn't want to go
all the way upstairs.

[deleted] I love
     his description of the time
he took ecstasy.

Boss asked me to look
     at some sites to see if I'd
find something I'd like.

This makes sense, although,
     does the problem lie solely
with attractiveness?

Furthermore, it is
     not as easy as champ x
counters y in lane.

Yes, this. My "sex ed"
     class in 6th grade was more
like puberty ed.

She's going the wrong
     way Ooh something on your legs
in the last one? Yeah.

[deleted] Different
     environments and different
selection pressures.

tolerant people
     aren't in the categories
i listed above.

I will dig around
     and see if I can track them
down from home later.

My parents are both
     from LI and moved to Boston,
never to look back.

There seems to be both
     pros and cons to both slowing
down and speeding up.

Is that not cheating?
     Wow spoiler alert.... I want
to play this again!

Wow spoiler alert....
     I want to play this again!
This is way awesome.

It boggles my mind
     that you think catholic women
don't use birth control.

When people started
     to get better at macro,
he never improved.

I usually play
     as a sniper, but then just
hide in a corner.

Even if he wins
     another one, Parcells will
have been the greatest.

She will die too, no
     matter how much money is
spent postponing it.

If I *had* to do
     something like that, do I think
I could pull it off?

Smoking out will make
     you quit worrying about
these nonsense issues.

When you did push, Toss
     was already allowed time
to make some units.

This is actually more
     useful to atheism than
religious people.

Staged photo. You can
     tell my the forced expression
and body language.

In the last three years
     I have seen more Sonics gear
than ever before.

"We've made too many
     compromises already;
too many retreats.

If Santorum goes
     to moderate states, he'll get
crushed by Mitt Romney.

This Bible of yours...
     in your words, at best a man
writing on paper.

If you try and roam,
     your AD carry is going
to get denied. Hard.

You are mistaken.
     Congress passed the Alien
and Sedition Acts.

Alternatively,
     if my wife says, "Why are you
still reading this book?