Reddit Haikus

"Lets be more than friends"?
     In a fucking text message?
Are you in high school?

Immediately
     turned it off when that part came.
Can't stand that bullshit.

You look like you would
     flip your shit if someone looked
at you the "wrong" way.

Good job. I also
     have improved my social life
through conscious effort.

one doughnut is less
     than two doughnuts, but still *more*
than half a donut^1.

*These phenomena
     can be observed in several
places in China.

*Yes, but it isn't
     really a trial of us (or
even of Ron Paul).

Oh you! Sure, I'm sure
     you know my true intentions
better than I do.

Sorry about that,
     if I was contributing.
I'd do the same thing.

If they told you that,
     it would make it too easy
for you to get them.

It's simple, funny
     and quite animated. Wow.
You're an asshole, dude.

Did she know you did
     this before you got married?
[Original Here.

If you can balance
     out your flight hugging the ground,
landing is easy.

Honestly, though, kick
     his ass out before that shit
gets on your record.

Earthquake? God is pissed.
     Justice in the world? God will
judge all when they die.

Nice straightaway near
     my house, decided to live
on the edge a bit.

Summoning things like
     lots of toads, or small puppies,
would be so much fun!

Fox News LOVES giving
     Fast and Furious press time.
It's their way of a.

I would give my life
     for my wife or kids, but not
for anyone else.

What happens if you
     commit murder in that house?
Or on their doorstep?

Basically, get both
     in any order you like.
They're both really great.

Well, the corporate mass
     media will start spinning,
that's what will happen.

Bies are just greedy
     Make the under roll shorter,
and see what happens.

Yo, Joe! Just Norris
     wasn't born, he simply just
IS. Beat me to it.

There is a glitch on
     Grand Bazaar that will let you
get under the map.

Lights is pronounced like
     eye and blades is pronounced like
aye in Australia.

*Kind of like my post*.
     But irony clearly goes
right over your head.

What is unusual
     is the feeling that they are
different than they were.

What about that guy
     talking about buying his
girlfriend some tampax?

I'm glad you are home.
     Yes, they should have, but they weren't
present at the time.

otherwise, i'd say
     go to Perth, your friend is daft.
clicked through most of them.

I looked up "Karma
     Whore" in the dictionary,
and I found this thread.

Remember the F15
     has two versions the Eagle
and the Strike Eagle.

But it could also
     happen if your wallet was
not showing. Oh well.

I always have more
     energy when it's a dark
gloomy day outside.

We awkwardly laughed
     on her joke but we really
didn't find it funny.

Thought it was better
     acted and the ending was
just as surprising.

Coke tastes like sugar
     water and the aftertaste
is like stomach bile.

That's how they feel like
     when you make love to them too.
Oh, and the moaning.

Oh, and the moaning.
     It sounds like a dog playing
with a plush toy. But.

It sounds like a dog
     playing with a plush toy. But.
Does it matter? No.

Learn what racism
     is, and then tell John Terry
and Louis Suarez.

i love the way you
     wear that towel for some reason.
i find it awesome.

Zombie Strippers (though
     I did read a compelling
defense for it here).

There are plenty if
     real life things to pull your hair
out over instead...

getting paid twice (thrice
     if you count american
dad) for the same show?

Personally, I'd like
     to get rid of the spoiler
tags altogether.

That's his strategy
     and doing anything else
would be a mistake.

It's a hedge fund trying
     to bleed the most 'shareholder
value' from a stone.

What if the problem
     is systemic crime and black
culture as a whole?

His front foot is on
     the wrong side if the board is
flipping that way. 49ers.

It's a Japanese
     import collector's edition.
Price seems fine to me.

This is the best way
     to get your sleep. Finally:
Kids bounce really well.

agreed I agree.
     It seems like it is mostly
about the money.

A football player
     can go to the gym and do
squats and bench presses.

/rant acid pool I'm
     pretty fucking sure I've seen
this pic weeks ago.

and he won't step down?
     and your city no longer
has any culture?

Add females in there
     and they'd just be banging all
the time to keep warm.

People that eat their
     steak well done should have ordered
the fucking chicken.

It will easily
     be shot down by the climate
change establishment.

Your response is "BUT
     WHAT ABOUT THE POOR OPPRESSED
STRAIGHT MEN GETTING RAPED!

Either way I can't
     wait to see the excuses
fly from either side.

If there is one thing
     Americans do well, it's
fast food... that and sweets.

Too little, too late.
     I've wanted those cat lipsticks
for over a year.

They had their guns drawn.
     _They were willing and prepared
to kill him._ For what?

Nobody ever
     got punished on high about
that "situation".

In reality,
     you are better of NOT trying
to understand it.

I hope you become
     saddled to someone who is
afraid of flying.

It's not worth even
     reading, even if I piss
off my companion.

Hey now, stop that! Lock,
     Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
was a great movie!

you've had in British
     waters so that may or may
not suit you at first.

Just saying she should
     make better decisions though.
Eric and Donna?

I think someone once
     linked a porn clip just because
the guy said "starcraft".

And there was still full
     clears the first week new content
came out. I agree.

Just because I talked
     poorly of one doesn't mean
I like the others.

When playing Singed, keep
     the mindset that you do NOT
GIVE A FUCK. AT ALL.

But my home PC,
     I just have those widgets on
my second screen. So.

Can anybody
     find a more reliable
source than that? Also...

Nah, gone. [deleted]
     Hate to be "that guy", but it's
"**we** Brits", not "**us** Brits".

Been fighting the bad
     thoughts very hard and I think
I am succeeding.

If he has in fact
     lost his daughter then good luck
finding her! Eclipse.

A clown fell on him.
     The small umbrella came down
three seconds later.

If you have too much
     salt in your diet, you can
look a bit bloated.

I was surprised.. YES!
     That did it! Updated it!
Thanks for the heads up!

It took them three more
     cycles to actually produce
usable product.

In real movie, phone
     was fine, but in real life, phone
is broken! Hah hah.

If I am wrong please
     let me know and I will keep
my thought to myself.

Look, bud, if you need
     somebody to talk to, I'm
always here for you.

I'm just commenting
     on my hatred of those stick
on manicure nails.

If you do not want
     to continue the exchange,
you should not respond.

Here I was thinking
     I had a freak of nature
on my hands! Fuck you.

I don't think women
     won't break the rules to further
their own interested.

The recon perk will
     give you assists toward your point
streak with hardline pro.

I feel like the point
     about bigotry is much
more of a question.

it's just the source code
     for android from the Android
Open Source Project.

There is a lot more
     to it than I could write here,
so check into it!

[deleted] Great word.
     Such an awesome sound. Now 'clot',
that word can get fucked.

It was about big
     enough to park a car up
there and not much else.

Delete messages?!
     You crazy?? That would be like
throwing something out.

According to her,
     it's not making a comeback
in our area.

A few of them then
     started asking me questions
from across the room.

No, seriously,
     nice watch. I loved the shootout..
So, no complaints here.

Edit for grammar*
     Definitely! I can tell
in your knees and thighs.

But I understand
     that the controls for it are
rather smooth actually.

Believe It or not
     most guys suffer from it, just
in a milder form.

Not exactly what
     I had in mind when I said
"current society".

The question is begged,
     what are you trying to achieve
with your comments here?

Another handful
     who were either double charged
or denied access.

If it's not more than
     one a day, I don't think it's
overdoing it.

I've been sick all day,
     and food seems like a abhorred
idea to me.

well, let me spew out
     some more of my typical
states' rights talking points").

Then we fucked. Good times.
     I bet no one ever got
the ball past [this guy!

Shut up. Your comment
     adds nothing and is just you
acting like a dick.

It he boxes wolves
     and will push your shit in if
you take his daughter.

i'm sure it could be
     made in china and sold much
cheaper but screw that.

You do not agree
     with the constitutional
right of taxation.

I feel your pain bro.
     Looks to me like a man scorned.
That thing at the top.

the one with the most
     votes got the information
out in one sentence.

HI GIRL, THIS IS DOG.
     She's a teacher, albeit
brutal and honest.

:p So its ok
     if you hurt a guy as long
as its a clean hit?

What amazes me
     most is how people manage
to *slurp* everything.

LORD. my favorite is,
     "do you make the honey here?"
like in the restaurant?

I didn't know. I don't
     think I could name a single
Packer team member.

As for Scott Pilgrim,
     I had no use for Cera,
until that movie!

Rent is reasonable,
     shopping is accessible,
the houses are fine.

I've heard that any
     kind of water pipe gives out
more tar but not sure.

These are fun to play
     to unwind, but don't go from
one to another.

Does that matter though?
     A fetus (and week old child)
have no consciousness.

I am both very
     worried and very grateful
for the attention.

[deleted] It was
     some what of a compulsion
to knife the melons.

If he's lied a lot
     before, I'm not sure you should
be trusting him now.

You dislike pointless
     fluff that adds nothing, and yet
you post the same thing.

Romney especially
     could star on, Are you smarter
than your gardener?

What about dozens?
     What about just one woman
getting smacked around?

They won't understand
     that it's about the men next
to you, and that's it.

[deleted] These puns
     are asbestos you're going
to get from this thread.

I got it for him
     around thanksgiving and he's
still working on it.

You obviously
     did your homework on which nail
salon to go to.

Do you mean only
     gets water, or only gets
water with a meal?

Save this thread. I WON
     THE COMMENT RACE! [deleted]
[deleted] Well "duh".

Exception is if
     you use it towards a 1st house.
Do this every year.

Estimate future
     purchases and save money
separately for that.

It was fantastic.
     I came up wit that about
when that was posted!!!

Edit: Truly not
     trying to be hostile at all,
just realistic.

His good ideas
     are severely outweighed by
his bad ones. WITCHCRAFT!

Without prayer things will
     unfold, but with prayer things can
unfold differently.

French? Would you rather
     have those people working out
in the fields instead?

Really? That's what you
     chose to be his defining,
distinctive success?

I don't think you can
     get round this without dropping
the use of the words.

for the future, put
     priority on what you
want to focus on.

[deleted] If you
     don't respect him, you should end
the relationship.

He's not quite as hot
     as this guy but he's 6mo old
and pretty damn cute!

I was born the day
     he was buried. i hate Tool....
oh so very much......

basically, eat all
     foods straight from nature and get
your protein from fish.

Oh well! By the way,
     what do you mean by "has not
input my classes"?

All you can do is
     take care of yourself and do
what is best for you.

try to focus on
     the positive things that came
out of abstaining.

You can either be
     republican, monarchist,
or not give a shit.

[deleted] Sorry
     for your loss, eighteen years proves
that he was well loved.

Do I have that right?
     How high were you when you came
up with that grand plan?

As it turns out, there
     was a logo under there!
It's an Ibanez!

Maybe some yoga
     or a meditation class
would be amazing!

This year is too tight
     due to the economy
so you can't donate.

Herpes everywhere.
     You are making less and less
sense with each reply.

Cream Color Bases
     in general are really great
things to have on hand.

An hour later though
     Janet decided to check
the stall for the test.

Anchor Christmas Ale.
     Amazing. Every single
year it is SO GOOD.

If i was being
     condescending I would use
clips from pulp fiction.

But that certainly
     doesn't mean it was ever
seen as my ideal.

A girl in the class
     asked "if people in airplanes
could feel the earthquakes".

[deleted] Oh sure,
     bring religion into it.
I see how you are.

Why don't you start then,
     otherwise your comment was
completely useless.

The UN would be, if
     not a good solution, then
at least a fair one.

The punishment was
     there even before Hitler
and they deserved it.

Get good grades. Hang out
     with people whose company
you actually enjoy.

Four Kings are under
     New Londo Ruins, again,
just keep going down.

When I was a kid,
     we called it soccer almost
as much as football.

by Philip K. Dick.
     My new favorite British (or
Commonwealth) rapist!

Gary Johnson *is*
     launching a third party run.
My name is Zoe.

Are you guys "sold" on
     that being the future? Wait.
What? Please elaborate.

(which is pretty much
     the thrust of your last response.
The answer is no.

I honestly thought
     you all were talking about
Carlos Santana.

Also, just because
     someone has a penis, does
not mean they are male.

And if my man says
     'make me a sandwich' I ask
'what kind would you like?'

For me it was less
     than a month after going
on numerous dates.

You are one cool guy
     for taking the time to help
out one cool old dude.

So alone. OK,
     then keep messaging me then.
That's fine too. Good guy.

challenge accepted.
     There's black underneath it, right?
You started with ink?

I love that Pierce is
     hanging in Shirley's class just
eating a sandwich.

Have you actually read
     his books, or do you just piece
together such quotes.

Should they be able
     to buy insurance after
their diagnosis?

I said 'forever'
     if only for the awesome
Arnold one liners.

You might be able
     to do that with another
simple web request.

Have you considered
     telling her much earlier
than your mom told you?

Boston: Legit stars
     who appear to finally
be over the hill.

They have some solid
     young guys though and should be good
in a couple years.

This is something I'm
     going to do when I get
my new computer.

Little to no trust.
     Just thought of another one
you'll appreciate.

I knew they enforce
     explosives, it just isn't
in their alphabet.

If you guys didn't know
     I was being sarcastic.
What the actual fuck?

And before you move
     out, slowly build up what you
will want in your place.